The Dark Emissary: Uprising

LOLSTORYTIME
Yes, yes, calm down. It'll be slow at first. Shut up. DMSDONTRUSHME. (at least its not Cuts)

Chapter 1 - New Hub City
It was a plain sunny day in the city. Several characters are in the LDZX HQ building, including most if not all major characters.

ZX: ...and that's how we almost lost DMS.

HGD: ALL that happened while I was gone?

DMS: Yup. You pretty much missed everything significant that happened with all of us. Now, ZX, if you were just trying to catch HGD up, why did you call us all up here?

ZX: THAT'S because I have a suprise for all of you.

LD: Hm, really? What could that be?

ZX: Well, I've been working on this for a long while in secret, and now it's finished.

ZX walks over to something covered with a tarp.

Pinkie: What's that?

ZX pulls the tarp off dramatically. Underneath it is what appears to be a model of a city.

ZX: THE NEW HUB CITY!!!!

DMS: ...What's that?

ZX: It's only the thing that'll get this land back into shape. As you can see, profits have been way down these past months, and the city we're in has little access to the growing eastern population, so, over the past time, the LDZX construction team and I have made this new tourist city of sorts. Not only does it function as any city, but includes a central park, numerous public diversions, as well as other whatnot, and we made a railroad specifically for transport to/from said city!

DMS: I'll admit, impressive...

ZX: And, get this. LDZX co. has funded a free vacation to Hub City for ALL of us!!

LD: Sweeeeeet!

Luna: You mentioned something about a railroad?

ZX: Oh, yes, and it's the best train you'll ever ride. A smooth ride across the country over two days in the luxury transit express line! Complete with seperate rooms, and a dinner area!

Luna: Two days...??

HGD: This is fantastic! When are we going?

ZX: Tommorrow!

LD: TOMMORROW?

Twilight: Don't we have jobs to do?

ZX: Oh, I have that taken care of. Day off for all! Meeting over.

Pinkie: Yaaaaayyyy!!!

Several of them head thier seperate ways, preparing for a good night's rest before tomorrow to catch the train.

At DMS and Luna's castle...

DMS: Well, this should be interesting! A vacation!

Luna: Hm... Should be fantastic. A two day train ride, though...

DMS: We'll have to get ZX to give us private rooms on the train... Heh.

Luna giggles once and gives DMS a quick kiss.

Luna: Wait... oh DAMNIT.

DMS: What??

Luna: What about the baby??

DMS: Oh for God's sake...

They ponder for a second.

DMS: I've got an idea. It's... a stretch, to say the least.

Luna: What is it?

DMS: What if... well... Kuipter and Celestia watched the baby?

Luna: FUCKING WHAT?!?

DMS: WELL WE CAN'T REALLY GET TWILIGHT TO WATCH HER. I MEAN, HELL, SHE'S GOING WITH US! AND WE CAN'T JUST TAKE SOLARIA WITH US!! THERE'S NO ONE ELSE TO TAKE CARE OF HER!!

Luna: Revelian. You forget. BOTH of them have tried to kill us on NUMEROUS occasions, and you want to leave our CHILD with them?! Who knows what they could do!?!

DMS: WELL, DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER IDEAS? I'D BE GLAD TO HEAR THEM.

Luna thinks, hard. Finally, she sighs.

Luna: There's nothing else we can do. We can't really rely on Twilight's other friends... And there's no one else to take care of her... But if those two do ANYTHING to my baby...

DMS: They won't. I promise. Alright, lemme call them up...

DMS pulls out his cell phone and dials Kuipter.

At Kuipter's home...

Kuipter lies on a couch, asleep. His cell phone rings, making him jump up and blast a hole in the wall with his arm cannon.

Celestia: Kuipter, dear, that's the 5th hole thus far.

Kuipter: DAMNIT I KNOW. Wait, why the hell is REVELIAN calling me??

Celestia: Ooh, interesting. Answer it.

Kuipter: And what the hell do you want??

DMS: I'm gonna be blunt. Do you want to make some money??

Kuipter looks at Celestia and grins.

Kuipter: Maybe.

DMS: Listen, me and Luna are gonna be gone for a week. We need someone to take care of Solaria. If we let you stay at our castle for the next week TO TAKE CARE OF SOLARIA, we'll pay you 1000 gold each.

Kuipter: Hm... Tempting. 2000 gold.

DMS: 1500 gold.

Kuipter: 1750.

DMS: URGH. FINE. And you listen carefully... If I come back, and I find that you two jackasses haven't taken care of my baby, I promise you, I'll plunge a sword so far up your asses, you'll be singing fucking BEETHOVEN! And you better not fuck my castle up, either!!

Kuipter: Don't worry, bro! Relax!! We'll take care of the damned kid.

DMS: YOU BETTER.

The phone hangs up.

Celestia: What did he want?

Kuipter: He's gonna pay us 3500 bucks to take care of his baby while he and Luna are away.

Celestia: Ooh, and we get to stay in Revelian's castle?

Kuipter: Yup!

Celestia: This is going to be very interesting...

Kuipter: Hehe.

Chapter 2 - I Like Trains
The night had passed. ZoshiX stood with everyone at the station, except for DMS and Luna, who were late. The train conductor looked at his watch expectantly. Everyone else is one the train, which is very large, having seperate rooms and such.

Conductor: C'mon, we have a busy schedule!

ZX: Alright, alright, hold on... Where ARE they?

LD: Maybe they "overslept".

ZX: Oh God...

Suddenly, DMS and Luna can be seen from a distance. They run like mad towards the train.

DMS: WE'RE HERE DON'T LEAVE YET.

ZX: Finally! What kept you?

DMS: We had to wait for the "babysitters" to arrive.

ZX: Who'd you get to do it?

DMS: Well, you see, well, Kuipter and Celestia.

ZX: WHAT?!

DMS: It's not as bad as you think. Money's involved, and, well, it's Kuipter. Plus, I promised to kick both of thier asses if even one scratch is on that child.

It suddenly starts to rain.

Pinkie: Eek! Come on, let's get on the train!

The gang all dashes onto the train before they get soaked.

ZX: Well, whatever, it's your kid I guess... Everyone here?

ZX runs down the list. Everyone is present.

Conductor: All aboard!! Train to New Hub is departing!!

The train doors close as the engine starts to accelerate. After a good few seconds the train is out of the station and on it's way to the city.

HGD: So, you said this train has rooms, right? Where are we all staying?

ZX pulls out out a list.

ZX: Let's see, I've got DMS and Luna in room 1, LD and HGD in room 2, Twilight and 02 in room 3, Me and Pinkie in room 4, and Lazro and Sam in room 5. Room 6 is empty. Meal services are in the kitchen, which is in the third car. There's also a little souvenier shop, and you can put extra luggage in the caboose. The trip will be over 2 days and one night.

(Reference for the Reader: [Engine]-[R1]-[R2]-[Kitchen]-[R3]-[R4]-[R5]-[R6]-[Caboose])

LD: Did you hear that, Hank? ROOM MATES! We're going to play board games, and eat pizza, and play tic tac toe, and play board games, and play cards, and eat pizza, and watch TV, and play-

HGD: HOORAYIGETIT!

DMS: Hear that Luna? We're sharing a room tonight.

Luna: Lovely...

ZX: Yeah yeah talk about your "activities" later. Preferably without any of us around. If you guys want breakfast it's ready. I'm going to go to my room to do something for a minute. I'll see you guys in a bit.

ZX exits the car, headed through the next few cars to go to room 4. The others go to the dining car for breakfast.

ZX walks down the hallway into the room. He takes his laptop out of his bag and sets it on a desk as he sits down. He opens it up and a window pops up. After loading for a second, a videochat pulls up, and someone appears on the other side. It simply appears as a human-like body, but with a faceless cube as a head.

Blockhead: Hello, sir. How are you doing?

ZX: Oh, fine. I just wanted to check on you guys. You have the instructions I gave you, right?

Blockhead: Yes, we posess the information. We will follow it strictly.

ZX: Alright. See you guys later.

Blockhead: Farewell.

ZX closes the window and puts the laptop away. He stands up and heads towards the dining car, where everyone sits. He sits next to Pinkie and starts to eat with them.

ZX: Yeesh, it's storming out there... Hope we'll be ok.

Meanwhile, on top of the car...

A figure desperately clings onto the top of the car as it moves. The figure crawls over the tops of the cars, until it makes it to the dining room car. It peers into the room through a skylight at DMS, and grins. A bolt of lightnight flashes, and the figure is revealed to be Chrysalis.

Chrysalis: I knew he'd be here... Heheh. I think there's a 6th "bedroom" car on this train... I'll have to break in and lock the door. No way in Hell I'm staying up here...

Chrysalis turns around and crawls over the tops of the cars, soon reaching the last room next to the caboose. She drops down and smashes through a window on the side of the car. She then twists the handle on the door to keep it closed.

Chrysalis: Good...

Back at the dining room...

ZX: Did you hear something break??

DMS: Mighta ran over a rock on the tracks.

ZX: No, it sounded like glass...

DMS: Hmm... Oh well, nothing to dwell on.

ZX: I guess so...

They resume eating.

Meanwhile, at DMS' castle...

Kuipter hangs on a chandelier in the foyer.

Kuipter: HAHAHA!!!

The chandelier cord snaps, and they both fall to the floor. The chandelier flat out explodes, sending electrical sparks everywhere. Celestia facepalms.

Celestia: So much for not breaking anything! Tell me, Kuipter, on how you plan to fix this.

Kuipter: I had a plan to fix this??

Celestia: WELL, I DO WONDER. REVELIAN, AFTER ALL, DID TELL US NOT TO BREAK ANYTHING.

Kuipter: Ah, fuck... I'LL COME UP WITH SOMETHING.

Celestia: All 3 of us are going to die, aren't we?

Kuipter: PROBABLY. LOOK, I'LL JUST HAVE REVELIAN DEDUCT THE COST OUT OF OUR PAY. Think he'd allow it?

Celestia: Probably not.

Kuipter: I'LL CALL AND ASK HIM.

He gets on his cell phone and calls DMS.

DMS: What did you two fuck up?

Kuipter: NOTHING. Listen, if, hypothetically, we broke something, would you deduct it from our pay instead of out-right killing us?

DMS: Depends on what you would break. Name something.

Kuipter: Err... A chandelier??

DMS: You broke the chandelier in the foyer, didn't you?

LD: HAHAHAH!!!

Kuipter: NO!!

Celestia: Yes.

DMS: DAMNIT, KUIPTER. THAT COSTED ME 2000 GOLD!!

Kuipter: AWW MAN, YOU'RE TAKING OVER HALF OF OUR PAY ALREADY?!

DMS: YOU'RE FUCKING LUCKY I'M NOT TAKING ALL OF YOUR PAY, YOU IGNORANT FUCKING TWAT!!

DMS angrily hangs up.

Kuipter: WELP, WE'RE SAFE, AT LEAST!

Celestia: We're going to wind up not getting payed, are we?

Kuipter: PROBABLY. BEATS BEING KILLED. AGAIN.

Celestia facepalms.

Back on the train...

LD: WHY did you have those two watch your kid again?? Why not Twilight's friends??

DMS: Because shut up.

LD: WITTY RESPONSE.

So they finish breakfast. The day is rather uneventful. Later on...

DMS walks towards the 6th room. He looks, confused, at the door glass that seems to be blocked.

DMS: What the hell?

DMS tries to open the door, but can't.

DMS: What the hell is up with the door?? Oh, fuck it. I'm bored out of my fucking skull! AND WE GET TO DO THIS FOR TWO DAYS.

LD: STOP YELLING.

DMS: FUCK OFF.

Hank: This is going to be interesting... Urgh.

Meanwhile, ZX and Pinkie sit in their room.

Pinkie: This is going to be so much fun!!

ZX: Yeah. New Hub City's a great place. But the train ride's going to be really boring...

ZX lays back on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. He listens to the rain pound the top of the car. ZX feels drowsy. He shakes his head and raises up.

ZX: No, can't sleep now... Ugh.

Pinkie yawns loudly.

ZX: It's only 3 o'clock... Ugh. Wonder what we could...

Pinkie: ...

She blushes and looks at ZX.

ZX: ...What?

Pinkie giggles and pushes ZX over.

ZX: Oh, that. Wait, make sure the train car is locked...

Pinkie: But what if Lazro or Sam want into their rooms??

ZX: They're all probably screwing around in the bar. Ugh, just forget it... We can't do anything until tonight, when everyone else is asleep...

Pinkie sighs and gets back up.

Pinkie: Wanna go to the bar with the others?

ZX: I guess...

They both leave the room. After heading through the currently empty 3rd car, they arrive shortly at the kitchen car, where inevitably DMS, Luna, and HGD sit at the bar. Twilight is sitting at one of the tables, reading a book with a cup of coffee, while Lazro and Sam play some kind of board game on another table. Ludicrine is unseen at the moment.

ZX: Sup, guys?

Lazro: Nothing. However, I can't seem to lose against this guy. He SUCKS at eels and next signs.

S17: WHY CAN'T I WIN THIS STUPID GAME?!

Pinkie walks over to the bar to HGD.

HGD: I'll have a double, no, wait, make that triple, extra foam too-much-blood-in-your-alchohol-system special, if you will, kind sir.

DMS: Hank, nobody wants to see you that drunk. Remember that party...?

HGD: Oh, I can't help it. Plus-

LD bursts out of a door loudly.

LD: GUYS!!! THE BATHROOM SOAP SMELLS LIKE BIRTHDAY CAKE!!!!

Everyone looks at him strangely.

LD: ....I thought it was cool....

HGD: Anyway... What'll it matter. It's not like, we're going to battle or anything. Let drunks be drunks.

The bartender appears with HGD's drink. He gulps it down enjoyably.

DMS: Geez... So, ZX, what were you doing back in your room?

ZX: Oh, just taking care of business. Wanted to make sure the Blockheads were in order.

Luna: The who?

ZX: Don't worry about it. So, what are you guys up to?

Luna: Bored.

DMS: Very, very bored.

ZX: Oh, it'll be worth it when we get to NHC. Sigh, I wish there was something else we could do...

DMS: Wait, isn't that a air-hockey table over there?

ZX: Oh, I love that game!

DMS: YOU'RE ON.

DMS and ZX run over to the table. ZX gets the puck first. He smacks the puck, bouncing it off of the boarders. DMS manages to hit it back... sending the puck flying off of the board. It begins bouncing off of the walls like a bullet,

DMS: TAKE COVER!!

Everyone dives to the floor except for Hank. The puck inevitably beans off of his head, sending him flying to the floor.

Hank: HS 804000 (aT: lIKE, OW,)

DMS: Sorry, Hank.

The gang resumes their activities, while Hank lies on the floor, passed out and sober.

Chapter 3 - "Riding on the Train... at night"
The rest of the day passes without anything important happening. After dinner, nothing important happens again. HGD woke up about two hours after the incident, where he decided to retreat to his room to subside with an ice pack and some painkillers. When it starts to get a little late, everyone starts to get ready for bed.

ZX: Alright, guys, see you tommorrow. We're headed off to bed.

DMS: Yeah, I'm so tired, that IF ANYONE GETS THE IDEA TO GO THROUGH OUR ROOM, DON'T.

He stares at them all once. They get the memo. Everyone goes to thier rooms except DMS and Luna.

Luna: Well, I'm going to get some sleep. I'll see you in bed if you need me.

DMS: Alright, I just have something I have to take care of. See you in a minute.

Luna: Alright.

She kisses him on the cheek and goes to their room. DMS stands in the kitchen alone.

DMS: Now, let's see about this damned room...

DMS walks towards the 6th room. He punches through the glass, knocking over the object that blocked the window, and hears a cry of shock.

DMS: WHO THE FUCK IS IN THERE??

Chrysalis crawls underneath the bed, hiding. DMS kicks the door open, sending it flying across the room. DMS stomps into the room and looks around.

DMS: Someone's been here, alright... Come out, come out, wherever you are...

DMS walks towards the bed. Chrysalis holds her breath. DMS picks the bed up and throws it across the room.

DMS: AHA!! THERE YOU ARE!! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!

Chrysalis stands up, calmly. She grins.

Chrysalis: What, wasn't the queen invited?

DMS: FUCK NO!! YOU WOULD BE ONE OF THE LAST PEOPLE WE'D INVITE! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU EVEN DOING HERE?!?

Chrysalis: I was bored. What else??

DMS: YOU CAME HERE TO CAUSE MORE TROUBLE, DIDN'T YOU?!

LD walks into the room, angrily.

LD: WHAT'S WITH ALL THE YELL- HOLY SH/T ITS YOU.

Meanwhile, in ZX and Pinkie's room...

The two sit on the bed, making out. Pinkie falls back on the bed, blushing violently. However, loud shouts and noises are heard from the end of the train. ZX sighs angrily and gets up out of the bed.

ZX: The hell? Pinkie, I'll be right back. I need to check out whatever is going on down there.

Pinkie: Aww.... come right back!

ZX walks out of the room, and goes into room 5, and notices that the door to room 6 is broken. He goes inside to see DMS and LD as well as Chrysalis having a shout fight. He just stands there.

DMS: WELL AT LEAST I'M NOT A- HI ZX.

ZX: Really? You again? We don't have the time for this. Are we going to have to handle this the easy way or the hard way?

Chrysalis: Is that a rhetorical question?

ZX: Damnit, I just want to sleep.

DMS: Yeah, right, I know what you were planning to do with Pinkie.

ZX: What??

DMS: You're as hard as rock.

ZX: OH GOD DAMNIT.

ZX blushes viciously and covers himself.

Chysalis: Oh, it's alright, don't feel bad at hardening up in front of the queen... hehehe...

ZX: UGH, DMS, WANT TO GET RID OF HER?!

DMS: YES.

HGD: WAIT!!!

HankGuideDude bursts through the door pauses the screen.

HGD: Hey you! In front of the screen! Do you remember how to fight?

-Yes

-N-

DMS: HANK THEY KNOW HOW IT WORKS. STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL.

HGD: Oh... okay! Let's go then!!

(Fake) Boss: Chrysalis
HGD: WAIT!! Who the hell is this, again??

DMS: LONG. FUCKING. STORY.

HGD: GOTCHA. LET'S DO THSI!!

ZX used PSI Freeze!

Chryalis didn't take any damage!

DMS charges forward!

Chryalis took 1201 damage!

LD attacks with TRANCE!

Chysalis took 2392 damage!

HGD attacks!

Chrysalis took 902 damage!

Chrysalis shapeshifted into ZX!

ZX: OH GOD NO.

Chrysalis used PSI STARSTORM!!

The train car was destroyed, throwing ZX, DMS, HGD, and LD off of the train!!

BATTLE END!!

The gang rolls onto the ground. The train zooms off, leaving them behind.

Chysalis: Hahaha... Well, that was easy!! Farewell, fools!!

Chrysalis flies off.

DMS: GOD FUCKING DAMNIT YOU SLUT!! URGH.

HGD: The train!!

DMS: HOLD ON.

DMS grabs all 3 of them and launches himself at high speed towards the train. He smashes through one of the doors to the train, sending all 4 of them sprawling to the ground. Luna and Pinkie stand in front of one of the doors, worried.

Luna: Revelian, what the hell happened??

DMS: CHRYSALIS. ANNOYING SLUT. GDSSD.

Luna: That bitch?! Where is she?! I'll kill her!

DMS: Already gone... Urgh.

Pinkie: Zoshi!! Are you alright??

ZX climbs to his feet.

ZX: Urgh, I'm alright... Come on, let's get back to bed...

DMS: Pinkie! Make sure you nurse him back to health, ok?? Hehe!

ZX: SHADDUP.

Pinkie: No worries!

ZX: *Sigh*.

Luna: Speaking of nursing...

Luna grabs DMS and drags him back to their room.

LD: WELL DAT SURE WAS A NICE LITTLE DISTRACTION. At least things picked up! ...For a bit... Let's go back to bed.

HGD: What just happened??

They both go back to bed.

Meanwhile, in Twilight and 02's room...

Twilight stares at the ceiling, eyes bloodshot. 02 lies on the other bed, snoring incredibly loudly. Twilight gets up and pokes 02 to try and make her stop. 02 jerks up, roars at Twilight once, and goes back to sleep, snoring loudly. Twilight runs the fuck away and curls up into a ball in the corner, shaking.

Meanwhile, at DMS' castle...

Kuipter sits at the dining room, drinking wine they stole from DMS' fridge. Celestia walks into the kitchen with a pitcher of water.

Kuipter: Why don't you want any wine??

Celestia: Kuipter, I'm pregnant!

Kuipter: So?

Celestia stares at him for a moment.

Celestia: You have no basic understanding of the female body, do you?

Kuipter: All I know are the four places to shove a dick- Mouth, pussy, ass, and tits.

Celestia facepalms.

Celestia: Vulgar asshole... If I drink alcohol, it would be bad for the child.

Kuipter: How?? She doesn't know you're drinking!

Celestia facepalms harder.

Celestia: IT COULD SCREW HER UP. BIG TIME.

Kuipter: ...Oh.

Celestia: Why am I with you again??

Kuipter: It's like my hand.

Celestia: ...Why??

Kuipter: Beats the fuck outta me!

Celestia sighs, drinking some water.

Chapter 4 - I'M ON A BOAT TRAIN
The next morning...

DMS wakes up. He feels Luna's constant, strained breath on his throat. He gently pushes her aside and climbs to his feet. He takes a quick look at the clock on the nightstand. It's 9:26 am. They would be at New Hub that afternoon. He decides to go to the kitchen. Twilight is at the table, face down into a book, asleep. Nobody else seems to be in the room except a couple of staff members.

DMS nudges Twilight. She groans and picks up her head. Her eyes are a little bloodshot and she looks horrible.

Twilight: Why....oh God why....

DMS: What?

Twilight: YOUR MOTHER!!! SHE SLEEPS LIKE A MONSTER!!

DMS: Oh, that. You okay?

Twilight: Oh, yeah.... just a little sleepy is, *yawn*, all.... zzzz.....

She facedesks and falls back asleep. DMS decids to go check out the souvenier shop. Inside was 02 and LD, who appeared to be looking at a couple things. LD appears to be arguing with the cashier.

LD: Are you SURE you guys don't sell the bathroom soap?!!

Cashier: NO. WE DO NOT.

LD: But it smells SO GOOD!!!!

The cashier repeatedly headesks.

DMS walks over towards 02.

DMS: Hey, mom?? Remember how you were supposed to take your snoring medicine??

02: Oh, I forgot about that! ...Why?

DMS: Twilight's passed out on the kitchen table. She wasn't able to sleep because of your snoring.

02: ...Oops.

DMS: Yeah, might want to remember next time.

There's a loud racket. DMS and 02 spin towards the table. LD has flipped the cashier's table over, and is strangling the cashier.

LD: GIMME THE GOGBEAVERDAMN SOAP!!!

Cashier: NEVER!!

DMS facepalms.

Meanwhile...

ZX and Pinkie both wake up.

ZX: Yeesh...

Pinkie turns over to him and giggles.

Pinkie: Last night was fun, no?

ZX: You said it...

ZX turns over and gets up, stretching out. Pinkie gets up as well and gets dressed. They head into the souvenier shop. Inside, they see LD strangling the cashier.

ZX: LD!! What the hell are you doing?!

LD: DSFSVDFS GIVE ME THE SOAP!!!

ZX: DMS!! Stop him!!

DMS: Ok, fine.

DMS picks up a 2x4 that just so happens to be lying around and bashes LD upside the head with it, knocking him into the opposite wall that's 15 feet away.

ZX: YEESH!

DMS: What? I stopped him!

ZX facepalms.

ZX: Where's Twilight?

DMS: Passed out on the table in the kitchen.

ZX: 02's snoring?

02: Yup... Heheh.

Luna then walks into the souvenier shop, having only put on a bra and panties. ZX's jaw drops, before getting forcefully closed by Pinkie.

DMS: ERRM. LUNA.

Luna: Ugh... what??

DMS: CARE TO PUT SOME MORE CLOTHES ON, DEAR?

Luna: What?? OH DAMNIT.

Luna runs off to get dressed.

ZX: Well that was ho-I mean awkward.

Meanwhile... At DMS' castle...

Kuipter: YEEEHAWW!!

Kuipter rides on top of Omegasus (one of my pets). The poor creature crawls along the ground. Celestia stands nearby, nursing the baby.

Celestia: Kuipter, you incompetent brute! Get off of the poor thing!

Kuipter: Fine, fine, sheesh!

Kuipter gets off of Omegasus. Omegasus crawls along the ground, gasping for breath. He walks over to a couch and slumps on it, bored.

Kuipter: I wonder if DMS and Luna have any sex tapes...

Celestia: Let's not find out.

Kuipter: Yeah, you're hotter then her, anyways. Well, not now at the moment.

Celestia: And what does that mean??

Kuipter: Well look at you! You're packing a damned child!

Celestia: That's YOUR fault, you incompetent buffoon!

Kuipter: ...Shaddup.

Meanwhile, back on the train...

Overall, nothing really eventful happens. LD never gets any soap, either. Boo hoo. Around the afternoon...

They arrive at New Hub City.

Chapter 5 - Plot Advancement Arrival
The gang steps out of the train. As they walk out, the enormous city stands before them. At the moment a central park is visible with buildings on the skyline. The central park is enormous, with a large, intricate fountain in the center and freshly cut grass covering the majority of the ground. Several strange looking trees grow out of the ground.

HGD: ...

LD: Wow! Stupendous!

DMS: Impressive...

Lazro walks over to one of the trees.

Lazro: What are these? I've never seen these in my life!

ZX: Oh! Those were imported from one of the mountain series. They looked kind of funny, so we bred some here. I thought they complimented the scenery. Try the fruit! It's supposed to taste good.

Lazro pulls off one of the strange cubic fruits and takes a large bite out of it. The taste is unrecognizable, but still quite pleasing.

Lazro: Yup! Pretty good I say.

ZX: Now, to be clear...

He hands them all a map.

ZX: The highlighted building on 7th street is our hotel. Meet there with the rest of us at least before midnight. Otherwise, your all free to roam the city, see what you like, do whatever. See you soon!

DMS: Alright, then. Come on, Luna.

02: Can I come with you two?

DMS: Well, I certainly don't see why not.

DMS, 02, and Luna all head off.

Pinkie: Twilight! Come with me and Zoshi!

Twilight: Alright, alright, coming!

Twilight runs after them.

Lazro: COME, SAMUEL. WE MUST ROAM TEH LANDZ.

S17: YAYZ!

Lazro and S17 run off.

HGD: ...Errmm...

LD slides dangerously close to him.

HGD: ...SOMEONE HELP ME!!

LD grabs Hank and runs off with him.

Meanwhile...

A figure stands on top of a building, watching them. Chrysalis chuckles once, and flies off after DMS' group.

MEANWHILE YET AGAIN...

Kuipter sits on DMS' couch, guzzling wine and watching TV. Celestia walks into the room, irritated.

Celestia: Damnit, Kuipter!! You haven't done anything to help me!!

Kuipter: WELL I DUNNO HOW TO TAKE CARE OF A DAMNED KID!

Celestia: WELL LEARN HOW. THE BABY NEEDS HER DIAPER CHANGED, AND I'M SICK OF CLEANING SHIT OFF OF MY HAND! YOUR TURN!!

Kuipter: SAY WHAT?!?

Celestia: Kuipter, you're going to have a child of your own soon!! And you've gotta learn how to take care of it when I'm not around!

Kuipter: ...Can we get an abortion??

Celestia: WHAT!? ABSOLUTELY NOT!!

Kuipter: Ugh, it'll be quick! Just give me a coathanger and I'll-

Celestia: NO. NOW YOU. DMS' ROOM. SHIT-RIDDLED DIAPER. GO.

Celestia storms off. Kuipter sighs angrily and heads to DMS' room. He looks at Solaria, who's crying in her crib.

Kuipter: AWRIGHT SHADDUP FOR A SECOND...

Kuipter summons an energy blade out of his arm cannon and slices the diaper off. He throws it in a waste bin.

Kuipter: ...WHAT DO I DO NOW?!

Celestia: Clean the baby's butt off!

Kuipter looks over and spots some wet wipes sitting nearby. He grabs them and cleans the baby off.

Kuipter: BLUH!! THIS IS NASTY!!

Celestia: I'VE DONE THE SAME DAMNED THING 30 FUCKING TIMES. YOU'LL LIVE, I PROMISE!

Kuipter throws the dirty wipes away and grabs another diaper.

Kuipter: Ermm... Hmm...

Kuipter pulls out a knife, wraps the baby up loosely in the diaper, and rams the knife through the diaper to keep it in place.

Kuipter: DONE!!

Celestia: Did you put baby powder on the baby??

Kuipter: DAMNIT.

Kuipter quickly removes the diaper and puts powder on the baby. He the finishes and runs off.

Kuipter: DUNIMMAWATCHTVNOW.

Celestia: Lemme see if you did it right...

She heads upstairs.

Celestia: DAMNIT, KUIPTER!! WE DO NOT USE A KNIFE TO KEEP THE BABY'S DIAPER ON!!

Kuipter: WELL WHAT THE FUCK ELSE WAS I SUPPOSED TO USE?!?

Celestia: THEY'RE CALLED "BOBBY PINS", YOU INSOLENT BUFFOON!! URGH, AT LEAST YOU GOT EVERYTHING ELSE RIGHT...

Celestia puts the diaper on correctly, then heads back downstairs.

Celestia: Ugh... You're useless.

Meanwhile in New Hub...

ZoshiX, Pinkie and Twilight roam about town, looking for something fun to do. Pinkie spots a small shop-looking thingy in the corner of an alley.

Pinkie: What's that over there?

ZX: ....I don't know what that is. I guess someone already bought out the building. We could check it out if you want.

Pinkie: Why not? We've got all day!

ZX: Fair enough.

They walk over to the door. It is a large, heavy door, with a small eyeslit near the middle. A plaque sits next to the door. On it, reads: "PhD. D&D, Professional Psychics."

Twilight: Fortune telling? I've always been interested by the subject, but I've never truly had mine told. Can we get in?

ZX: I don't know. Personally, I've always thought they were a little fishy, but we can try it. Probably just another stereotype of mine.

ZX knocks on the door a couple times. Someone walks up to the door.

Dr.D: Password?

ZX: Wha- we don't know a password!

Dr. D: Well, tough luck man, that's how you get in. See ya later, or not.

Twilight: Hello?

Dr. D: ?

Twilight: I'm sorry, sir, but I really wanted to try it.

He opens the eyeslit

Dr. D: Like I said, nob- Wait a second...

He goes into the building again. Mumbling can be heard vaguely from outside. He comes back.

Dr. D: You got money?

ZX: Yeah! You gonna let us in?

Dr. D: Alright...

Latches unlock and the large door opens. Standing behind it is a large fellow, quite fat in nature. He wears a red robe and colorful garments. His face is covered.

Dr. D: Come right in...

As they walk inside, another figure is visible in the dark room. Sitting at a table is presumably the psychic, however his/her face is not shown, and the entire body is draped with a large dark sheet. They seem to be wearing a pointy hat under the sheet.

(Now, both are known as "PhD. D" but for your convenience the second fellow will be referred to as "Psychic.")

Psychic: Come in! Come in! We'll be sure to accomodate your desires.

ZX, Pinkie, and Twilight look at each other nervously, but soon walk in.

Elsewhere...

Lazro and S17 walk down an alleyway. They spot something ahead.

Lazro: Woah, what's that?

Ahead of them, a tall, black figure eats away at a Blockhead. It looks similar to an Equestrian, but has short, stubby insect-like wings. It has short, stubby hair, and wears a small, blue shawl. Large holes also line its limbs. It makes angry, low growls as it tears away at the Blockhead, eating anything it can eat.

Lazro: What's that??

The monster raises its head up, having heard Lazro. It spins around to face them. It has cyan, insect-like eyes. It hisses at the two!

Lazro: TAKE HEED, SAMUEL! THAR BE A MONSTER IN FRONT OF US!! CHAAAAARGE!!

Lazro and S17 charge at the monster!

Battle: 1 Unknown Monster!
Lazro charges in with the Dual 02 Katanas!

Monster takes 1021 damage!

S17 charges up a mega slash!

The monster gets enveloped in a green light! When it vanishes, S17 is standing there!

Lazro: WUTDEFUQ!? A shapeshifter?!

The monster unleashes a flaming slash!

Lazro takes 2849 damage!

The monster returns to normal.

Lazro activates the HAIRPIN! It became an SMG!

Lazro fires the SMG!

Monster takes 17389 damage!

The monster fell over and died!

YOU WIN!

Lazro: What the hell is this thing?? I bet DMS would know!

Lazro pulls out his cell phone and takes a picture of the monster. He then sends it to DMS via a text and asks him what this was.

Meanwhile...

DMS, Luna, and 02 stroll down a pathway next to a river. DMS' phone rings. He pulls it out.

DMS: What the hell??

The text reads: "hey dms wut is dis", along with the picture.

DMS: Damnit! Chrysalis must have followed us here.

Luna: What??

DMS: Lazro and Sam just killed a Changeling.

Luna: Ugh!

DMS replies to Lazro's text and puts the phone away.

DMS: Ugh, let's keep moving. Just keep your eyes out for Chrysalis- knowing her, she's stalking us right now...

They keep moving forward.

Back in the alleyway...

Lazro: According to DMS, this is a Changeling, one of Chrysalis' minions.

S17: But weren't they all killed?

Lazro: She must have used some magic or something to take more out of Equestria. We've gotta be careful. BUT UNTIL THEN, MORE RANDOMNESS TO BE HAD!!

S17: YAYZ!!

They keep moving. A figure leaps down from one of the buildings and follows them.

Meanwhile, at the Psychic...

Psychic: Now, whose future am I telling here? Or are we doing a personality test?

Twilight: Predict the future? Impossible! I'd love to see you try.

Psychic: Glad to oblige. That'll cost 50 gold.

ZX: Fifty? That's outrageous!

Psychic: Your choice...

Twilight: Fine... here you go.

She hands him the money.

Psychic: Alright, now, let me get my crystal ball...

He rummages through some things on a shelf. He pulls out a dusty crystal ball and sets it on the table. He dusts it off, scattering dust into the room.

Psychic: Lets *cough* get started shall we? Now... Spirits! Spirits from beyond! For these three of each other fond! Thier future whisper to me may! So that they know of passing day! Do Tell! Tell!

Psychic: Look deeply into the ball with me.

They all lean in. Vague images are visible in the ball.

Psychic: Now... I see... I see something bad in your future...

Twilight: What is it?

Psychic: One of you... taken... It's, it's fading quickly...

Dr. D creeps up behind the three of them, carrying a large hammer. He lifts it slowly...

Psychic: I see... All 3 of you getting bashed in the head with a hammer!

Twilight: What??

-THWACK!!!-

All three of them are sideswiped by a crasing blow to the head. They lose conciousness.

Psychic: Hehe... suckers. Now, you remember the plan?

Dr.D: Yeah. Let's get outta here before anyone notices.

Psychic: Alright, grab the purple chick. Tie the others up. I'll be following you at close distance.

Dr.D grabs ties up ZX and Pinkie and throws them in the alley. He grabs Twilight and hoists her over his sholder and leaves. Psychic walks up to a bird that is sitting on the sidewalk.

Psychic: Now, just stay there for a second...

Psychic's eyes flash once and he disappears in a cloud of purple smoke. He flies out of the smoke, however, he has transformed into a bird. The "bird" then follows Dr. D as he makes for the city's edge.

DMS, Luna, and 02 walk towards a large dock.

Luna: Ooh, this is interesting!

DMS: Wait, who's that??

DMS points to Psychic and Dr. D.

DMS: Wait... Is that Twilight...??

Luna: They have Twilight?!

02: Well, don't just stand there! Come on, let's go after them!

DMS, Luna, and 02 run towards Dr. D and Psychic.

Dr. D: W-What the?!

Psychic transforms back into normal.

Psychic: Ugh, run!

Psychic turns back into the bird and flies off. Dr. D runs off, carrying Twilight.

DMS: GET BACK HERE!!

DMS charges after him!

Luna: Ugh, Revelian, wait up!

02 and Luna run after them. After a few minutes of chasing, DMS traps Dr. D in an alleyway!

DMS: Time's up, bitch! Hand Twilight over!

Dr. D: UGH!! Looks like I've gotta take care of you myself!

Dr. D throws Twilight onto the ground and pulls out his hammer!

Boss: Dr. D riRTACw-CNk Theme
DMS charges forward!

Dr. D takes 4456 damage!! Dr. D's mask is knocked off!

Dr. D: Damnit!!

Dr. D's penguin-like face is revealed, instantly recognizable by DMS.

DMS: Dedede? The hell are you doing here?

DDD: Nothing you need to care about. Speaking of which, I hate you guys! Dark matters, think they rule the freaking world...

DMS: YOU of all people telling someone they falsley rule a world? Bullshit.

DDD: That's cuz I am a king, stupid!

DDD makes a wide sweep with his hammer!!

DMS barely dodged it!

DMS charges forward!

DDD takes 5493 damage!

DDD charges up the super-hammer-spin attack!!

DMS uses the Shard Attack!

DDD was teleported into the sky!

DDD fell to the ground!

DDD takes 8949 damage!

DDD was knocked out of his attack!

DDD smashes with his hammer!

DMS takes 8372 damage!

DMS slices with his sword!

DDD takes 5949 damage!

DDD fell back!

YOU WIN!!

DDD breathes heavily from the fight, obviously somewhat exausted.

DDD: You got some kick in you after all, huh? Well, not to be rude, but I gotta go. See ya later, suckers!

DDD runs off, leaving Twilight behind. DMS, Luna, and 02 rush over to her. She seems to be waking up.

02: Are you going to let him get away?

DMS: For now. I don't give a shit about Mr. Pengiun at the moment, when we have someone else to deal with. You okay Twilight?

Twilight: Uh....yeah...ZX and Pinkie are... tied up near the fortune teller's place... We should go get them. That guy, Dedede? He was with some other guy, too. I guess he knocked us all out while we were focused on the fortune teller.

DMS: Alright, I'll go get them...

DMS goes off to get ZX and Pinkie.

Luna: For God's sake, can't we just have a normal vacation for once? First, Chrysalis, now this buffoon? What's next?

Twilight: Chrysalis? She followed us here?

Luna: Apparently. Lazro and Sam saw a Changeling not too long ago. I wonder how they're doing...

MEANWHILE...

Lazro and Sam wander around the city.

S17: Everything's deserted... Just a bunch of these block-headed guys...

Lazro: Didn't we see one of these guys get mauled by that Changeling?

S17: Yeah. I wonder what Changelings are doing here...

Suddenly, 3 Changelings leap down from the top of buildings!!

Lazro: OH CRAP!!

???: Yawn. You're still such a bore, Lazzy.

Lazro: WATDEFUQDOYOUMEAN- Wait...

Suddenly, Iala walks forward, holding the Hellbender.

Iala: Need some help with these insectoid-freaks??

Lazro: PLEASE.

Iala joins the party!

And they fight the changelings.

Chapter 6 - Fireworks
Throughout that day, DMS's and ZX's group do some stuff together, keeping watch of any suspicious activity along the way. Lazro, Sam, and Iala continue exterminate. Ludicrine and HankGuideDude have really been the only ones having fun, being completely ignorant of thier situation. Everyone has congregated, however, to see what is supposed to be a fantastic fireworks show, on the lake. The area lights are dim, and it is late as the blockhead pyrotechnicians prepare the show.

DMS: After all of today this better be good... I've been through a lotta shit today.

Luna: At least we can watch the fireworks together, Revelian.

ZX: So, Pinkie, you ready? It's supposed to be really good.

Pinkie: Yeah! I love fireworks! They're so... explosively happy!

Iala: So, Lazro...

She scoots up next to him. Lazro cringes awkwardly. Samuel17 just pokerfaces and walks away.

Ludicrine and HGD appear.

LD: THAT WAS AWESOME!!

HGD: I WAZZA FIRIN MAH LAZORS!!

DMS: What are you talking about?

LD: The laser tag place. It was epic.

HGD: Epppiiiiccc!!

ZX: They had a laser tag place? fffffuuuu-

Pinkie: Don't worry about it, we had fu- well sort of fun. I think it's starting!

The street lights fade to dark, and a drumroll plays. A lone spark flies into the air.

DMS: Yawn....

It continues to fly up into the sky, then as it's altitude climaxes...

SSSSSSHHHAHABOOOM!!

It explodes into a fiery burst of magnificence. Soon after tens upon tens of other fireworks shoot into tthe sky, exploding in all kinds of various colors and patterns.

Twilight: Wow!

The fireworks continue to light the sky as boats start to float around the edge of the lake. They continue to circle around a glowing round sphere, that begins to rise up out of the water. Show dancers, acrobats, and fire-dancers and such on the boats continue the show. It was fantastic. But suddenly, the lights on the boats cut off and the fireworks stop...

DMS: What the-? What gives?

Then, a dim green light shines over the boats and focuses on the central ball. The sphere splits into quarters and an enormous flower structure emerges from the ball. The bud sticks out, then glows green.

ZX: This... this isn't right!

DMS: Oh, great... here we go again.

Evil cackling emerges from the flower as it "blooms." The petals open to reveal none other than Chrysalis. Changelings appear from the boats and start attacking the performers. She floats over to the gang.

Chrysalis: Oh! I'm sorry! Did I steal the show? It's just my nature...

DMS: Oh, can it you slut. Why do you keep bothering us? I just came here to get a fucking vacation and you follow us just to pester me and Luna both. I know you've got a problem with me but could you JUST LEAVE US THE FUCK ALONE?!

ZX: ...What he said.

Luna looks around for a second.

Luna: Damnit, our guns are on the ship!!

Iala: Great, this is why I NEVER let anyone else hold my weapons... They'll get fucking stolen like this!!

They hear more cackling behind them. The ship's captain walks onto the deck... and promptly turns into a Changeling.

DMS: Jesus, they've must have replaced the entire crew!

Chrysalis: And not just that... All of these ships, as well.

ZX: Oh God...

DMS: Luna, Pinkie, Iala!! Go get your guns! ZX, go with them!

ZX: Why??

DMS: BECAUSE WE DO NOT NEED CHRYSALIS STARSTORMING US TO HELL.

ZX: ROGER THAT.

They all run off, ZX decapitating the Changeling as he moves. The others turn to face Chrysalis.

Chrysalis: Now then... Now that your wife is gone... Let's have some fun, shall we...??

DMS: IN YOUR DREAMS, YOU SKANK.

Chrysalis: Fine, then... I guess I'll extract as much love as I can... from your corpses.

Chrysalis floats downward towards the gang!!

Boss: Chrysalis (Actual boss this time)
DMS charges forward!

Chrysalis takes 1493 damage!

LD fires an aura bolt!

Chrysalis takes 930 damage!

Lazro uses the HAIRPIN! It became... a hairpin.

Lazro: PINCEPTION!!!

Chrysalis was stunned!

S17 charges up a mega slash!

Twilight fires a beam of energy!

Chrysalis takes 594 damage!

02 launches a blast of dark energy!!

Chrysalis takes 1930 damage!

Chrysalis returned to normal!

DMS charges forward!

Chrysalis takes 1392 damage!

LD attacks with TRANCE!

Chrysalis takes 1504 damage!

Lazro activates the HAIRPIN! It became a rock!

Lazro threw the rock!

Chrysalis doesn't take any damage!

S17 unleashes the mega slash!

Chrysalis takes 2493 damage!

Twilight launches a magic blast!

Chrysalis takes 1492 damage!

02 launches a bolt of dark energy!

Chrysalis takes 2594 damage!

Chrysalis transforms into S17!

Chrysalis activates the Speed Amplifier!

Chrysalis transforms into DMS!!

Chrysalis charges forward!!

LD takes 24923 damage!!!

LD got hurt and collapsed...

DMS charges forward!

Chrysalis takes 1594 damage!

Lazro activates the HAIRPIN! It became an RPG!

Lazro fires the RPG!

Chrysalis takes 2403 damage!

S17 unleashes a flaming slash!

Chrysalis takes 1459 damage!! Chrysalis gets knocked down!!

Second attack!

S17 unleashes a flaming slash!

Chrysalis takes 1930 damage! Chrysalis leaps to her feet!!

Twilight charges up a magic spell!

02 unleashes a bolt of dark energy!

Chrysalis takes 2493 damage!

Chrysalis transforms into DMS!

Chrysalis charges forward!

02 takes 14032 damage!!

Chrysalis transforms into Twilight!

Chrysalis launches a magic blast!

Twilight takes 9392 damage!

DMS charges forward!

Chrysalis takes 1605 damage!

Lazro charges in with the Dual 02 Katanas!

Chrysalis takes 950 damage!

S17 activates the Speed Amplifier!

Twilight launches a powerful blast of dark energy!!

Chrysalis takes 3859 damage!!

02 launches bloody tears!

The gang recovered 8000 HP!

Chrysalis transforms into 02!

Chrysalis launches bloody tears in the air!

Chrysalis recovered 5000 HP!

DMS: DAMNIT.

Chrysalis transformed into LD!

Chrysalis fired an Aura Bolt!

DMS takes 9054 damage!! DMS was knocked down!

Second attack!

Chrysalis transforms into LD!

Chrysalis fired an Aura Bolt!

DMS takes 13920 damage!!

DMS got hurt and collapsed...

Lazro: Shiieeettt....

Lazro activates the IRONGLOW KEY!! It became an Electrolaser Cannon!

Chrysalis: What?!?

Lazro: EAT ELECTROLASER, BITCH!!

Lazro fires the Electrolaser Cannon!!!

Chrysalis takes 8493 damage!!!

Lazro: ...SHE WASN'T DEFEATED?!? OH COME ON!!

S17 unleashes a flaming slash!

Chrysalis takes 1584 damage!! Chrysalis was knocked down!

Second attack!

S17 unleashes a flaming slash!

Chrysalis takes 1940 damage!!

Chrysalis cries out and backs up!!!

YOU WIN!!

DMS: *Pant* There we fucking go...!

Chrysalis stands at the edge of the boat, panting.

Chrysalis: Haha... how exhilarating... I enjoy our "sessions"... Again, I'm off!

She leaps forward, gives DMS another quick kiss, and flies off.

DMS: Fucking hell.

LD: Well, at least she's gone. The changelings should also cease the attack with the loss of their leader... Wait a second. Hank wasn't in the fight!! Where is he?

Suddenly, Chrysalis turns around.

Chrysalis: OH!! AND WE HAVE YOUR FRIEND WITH US!! IF YOU WANT HIM BACK, THEN WE'LL SEE YOU IN THE GREEN FLOWER!!

Chrysalis laughs again and flies off.

DMS: Damnit!! The Changelings must have taken him before we fought! The "green flower" is that thing in the middle of the lake, right??

LD: Seems like it. That's where Chrysalis is flying.

Suddenly, ZX and the others arrive on deck.

Luna: We're back...! ...What, did we miss it?!

DMS: Yeah, we won. But they took Hank!!

ZX: Oh come on!!

DMS: They're waiting in that flower... thing. I don't even know what it is.

Pinkie: Well, come on! We have to save him!

DMS: Relax, Pinkie, we will! Does anyone know how to drive a ship??

Everyone looks confused.

DMS: Oh brother...

Meanwhile, on one of the boats...

DDD smashes a Changeling with his hammer, sending it flying into the ocean. A white ghost-like being floats down next to him- The same enemy that tricked the gang earlier.

Psychic: So many of these things! What ARE these??

DDD: No idea, Doopliss. There was a big fight going on one of the boats, though. Some weird bug-chick flew off and went back into that flower.

Doopliss: Weird. These things shapeshift! I thought I was the only one here that could do that!

DDD: Dunno, but the boat that the fight was on is moving towards the flower, now! Wanna follow?

Doopliss: Yes. I bet that's where they are... Get this boat moving

DDD: I thought I was the king...

Doopliss: Just do it!

DDD begrudgingly activated the boat, and it started moving towards the flower as well.

Elsewhere...

Kuipter walks into the kitchen, carrying a basket of clothes.

Kuipter: Celestia! I got those clothes like you w-

Kuipter slips on a puddle of water and hits the floor.

Kuipter: Oh what the hell!?

Celestia sits on a chair, looking as if she is straining.

Kuipter: Celestia! What's wrong!?

Celestia: Kuipter, my water broke...!

Kuipter stares at her, confused,

Celestia: It means the baby's almost done!!

Kuipter continues to stare at her.

Celestia: THE BABY'S ABOUT TO BE BORN!!

Kuipter's expression changes to that of shock. Celestia starts to moan in pain.

Kuipter: Oh SHIT. W-WHAT DO I DO!?

Celestia: T-take me to a bed...!!

Kuipter: Don't we have to go to a hospital!?

Celestia: KUIPTER, THERE IS NO TIME. THIS BABY WANTS OUT NOW. Carry me upstairs...! Auughhh!!

Kuipter picks her up gently and carries her to DMS' bedroom. He puts her on the bed and grabs a hold of her hand.

Kuipter: I'll call 911, at least!

Celestia: H-hurry up... Urgh!!

Kuipter pulls out his cell phone and dials something.

Kuipter: Operator!! Get me the number for 911!!

Celestia: WHAT!? 911 IS THE NUMBER, YOU IDIOT!! IT ISN'T A FUCKING PLACE!!

Kuipter: FUCK.

He dials 911.

Kuipter: YEAH!! HEY!! GET AN AMBULANCE!! THERE'S A WOMAN GOING INTO LABOR!!

Kuipter hangs it up.

Kuipter: They'll be here soon enough!

Celestia: K-Kuipter, they're not gonna make it...

Kuipter grabs onto her hand and holds it. She cries out in pain as the baby is delivered.

Celestia: K-Kuipter!! Wipe the baby clean!

Kuipter grabs the cleanest thing he can find and wipes the sticky fluid off of the baby, allowing it to breath.

Celestia: O-Ok... We c-can relax... See what gender it is...

Kuipter gently picks the baby up and looks at its private.

Celestia: Well...?

Kuipter: I see a pussy.

Celestia facepalms.

Celestia: It's a girl...

They both take time to look at the child. It's body is a sleek white. Small patches of golden-orange sit in top of its tiny head. Celestia lovingly cradles the baby.

Celestia: Got a name for her...?

Kuipter thinks for a moment.

Kuipter: Starbreeze??

Celestia: She looks a bit too "sunny" for that, now doesn't she...? But it's alright... I like the name...

She leans over and gives Kuipter a quick kiss. Paramedics soon arrive to take them to the hospital.

Back to DMS...

The gang sits on the boat, bored. It's still a ways to the flower. Suddenly, DMS gets a text.

DMS: What?

DMS pulls out his cell phone and reads the text. It says-

"MY KID IS BETTER THAN YOURS!!"

Along with the text is a picture of Starbreeze.

DMS: Holy shit!

Luna: What is it?

DMS: Celestia had her baby. Kuipter just sent me a text.

Luna: What!?

Everyone gathers around to see the picture of the baby.

Luna: I can only hope that it won't turn out as bad as its mother...

ZX: Luna, relax.

Luna sighs angrily.

DMS: Woah, hey, we're here.

The boat arrives at the massive flower. It turns out to be a large complex.

DMS: Alright, let's get HGD!

LD: Come on!

The gang runs out of the boat towards the bud of the flower. They push the door open. Inside are 3 HGDs.

DMS: Oh for God's sake...

Chrysalis sits on a chair up above. She laughs at them.

Chrysalis: So, do you know your friend enough to find the fake? Let's find out...

DMS pulls a piece of bacon out of his pocket.

DMS: One of you, eat this.

One of the HGDs pick up the bacon and eats it. Luna puts a bullet in his head. The body reverts to a Changeling.

Chrysalis: How the hell...?!

DMS: HGD's Jewish. He doesn't eat pork!

Chrysalis: ...You're kidding me.

DMS: Now, then. Take this knife and stab yourself in the arm.

DMS throws a knife to another HGD. He pokes himself in the arm, drawing blood. The blood is a bright green. Luna puts a bullet in the fake.

DMS: HGD's blood is violet. Too bad your Changeling's can't copy that!

HGD: Yeesh! Thanks, guys!

Chrysalis scowls angrily and flies out through the top of the flower.

DMS: Let's get the hell out of here.

Twilight: But what about-

DMS: Twilight, it's as I said, she's hardly a major threat. She's just a nuisance. Come on, I want to go to bed...

DMS walks out of the facility back towards the boat. The gang promptly follows. They return to their hotel rooms to sleep.

Meanwhile...

Chrysalis lands on the ground, somewhere outside the city. She angrily kicks a stone.

Chrysalis: Another plan. Foiled. Urgh...

???: Hehehe... Prehaps we could help?

Chrysalis spins around to see Doopliss and King Dedede.

Chrysalis: A ghost and a fatass? What the hell could you two possibly do??

Doopliss: Come with us, and you'll find out...

Chrysalis: ...Fine...

She reluctantly goes with them.

Chapter 7 - Shapeception
The three of them walk through the city, unnoticed due to the relative darkness.

Doopliss: Now, what is it exactly that you want from these guys? Because, well, we've got some failed plans due to mr, how'd you say "fatass?" over here.

DDD: Hrmph...

Chrysalis: Well, you see, Revelian...

Doopliss: Who?

Chrysalis: The dark matter. The dark guy in the robe. Anyway, it's complicated. In general, I kind of just want him for my own, yet that blue bitch keeps getting in the way, and he isn't quite pleased with it.

Doopliss: So, what you're saying is you want sex with this guy and get rid of his bitch wife? Sound simple enough to me. Actually, it's perfect... So, if we help you with this, will you help us with our plan? I'll strike a deal here and now.

Chrysalis: Hrm... I would comply, but of what aid would you two buffoons be to me?

Doopliss: Here, let me show you...

Doopliss's eyes flash and he disappears in a cloud of smoke. He then reappears in front of Chrysalis, but he has turned into Chrysalis.

DDD: SHAPESHIFTERCEPTION.

Chrysalis: ...! YOU'RE a shapeshifter too?! Well! I would have never guessed. Hey, I'm pretty hot...

Doopliss returns to normal.

Doopliss: So, deal?

Chrysalis: Deal.

Dedede: Alright! Let's get this on! Now, what are we doing again?

Doopiss: Alright guys, now, here's the plan...

The hotel is quiet. Everyone is asleep and/or not asleep but still in bed.

Doopliss, Dedede, and Chrysalis stealthily move into the area. Doopliss walks over to the side of the road and picks up a rock, surely, underneath are some bugs. He picks one of them up.

Doopliss: Hey, turn into one of these.

Chrysalis: Disgusting! Become one of those vile insects!? Never!

Doopliss facepalms.

Doopliss: YOU LOOK ENOUGH LIKE A BUG TO PASS FOR ONE!

Chrysalis: Fine...

She reluctantly transforms into the bug, and Doopliss follows. Dedede walks into the hotel building, and the other two follow unnoticed, as meer insects. He walks up to the front counter.

DDD: Can I get a room?

Clerk: We have rooms available. Will you be the only one staying tonight?

DDD: Uh... yeah.

Clerk: That will be 230 gold.

DDD: Rrg...okay.

He begrudgingly hands the clerk some gold.

Clerk: Here's your room key. You'll be on the fourteenth floor.

DDD: Alright.

Dedede goes to one of the elevators, however, it seems to be broken.

DDD: Oh god freaking damnit...

Doopliss jumps around.

DDD: Sigh...

SEVERAL HOURS LATER...

Dedede pants heavily as he drags himself over the last stair. He slowly makes his way to the room, followed by Doopliss and Chrysalis. He goes in and locks the door. Chrysalis and Doopliss change back to normal.

Doopliss: Success. Now, can you transform into him by memory?

Chrysalis: Of course, ameteur.

Doopliss: AME erm... whatever.

Chrysalis transforms into DMS.

Doopliss: Now, we need a DNA sample from his wife. It can be anything. A hair, a toenail, whatever. I'll get ol' triple D over here to distract him while you get in.

Chrysalis: Alright.

She and Dedede leave the room. Dedede goes to the end of the hallway and starts jumping up and down vigorously.

...meanwhile, in DMS and Luna's hotel room...

RUMBLERUMBLE

DMS: ...what the hell? KEEP THE SHIT DOWN UP THERE.

Luna: Relax now, probably just some kid or something.

DMS: Don't care. I have no mercy for ignorance.

Luna: Sigh...

DMS gets up and leaves the room, heading down the hall and up the stairs to see what's up. Chrysalis takes this opportunity to go into thier room and grab a hair off the hairbrush.

Luna: What are you doing?

Chrysalis: Oh, umm... nothing, just brushing my hair. Is, all...

Luna: ...Whatever.

Chrysalis leaves again, returning to Doopliss. Doopliss then uses the hair to transform into Luna.

Doopliss: Hey, this chick's kinda hot...

Chrysalis facepalms.

Doopliss: U-uh, yeah... Alright, now, you go back into their room and do what we planned. I'll go keep "Revelian" busy.

Chrysalis returns to Luna, while Doopliss heads down the hall. When he reaches where DDD had gone, he stands to find DMS as well as a severely mutilated Dedede. DDD mouthes at Doopliss "I fucking hate you."

DMS: YOU UNDERSTAND?!

DDD: Yeah, yeah!! Just leave me alone!!

Doopliss: This guy again?

DMS: Huh? Oh, hey Luna. Yeah, but I took care of him. I think it would be in his best interest to GTFO. LIKE NOW.

DDD: OHSORRYKTHXBAI.

He flees quickly. (However, he is really just hiding on a level below. DMS turns back to Doopliss.

DMS: Now, you want to finish what we were doing before he interrupted us?

Doopliss: Wha- Oh, right! Y-yeah! Let's have some fun!

DMS: You alright? You seem a bit... cheesy.

Doopliss: No, I'm fine. Just a bit tired of all this going on. Let's go back to bed.

In Doopliss's head:

They start to return to the room. DMS gets out his key, and opens the door slowly. He opens it up, and suddenly, right in front of him...

DMS: WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS IN FUCKING HELL?!

Inside the room, Chrysalis (still disguised as DMS) literally leaps off of the bed from shock. Luna raises up, shrieks, and covers herself up.

Doopliss secretly s.

Luna: W-WHAT THE HELL!?!

Doopliss: W-What's this shapeshifted skank doing in my bed?!

Luna: YOU'RE CALLING ME A SHAPESHIFTING SKANK?!

DMS: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!! THERE'S... TWO OF US.

Luna: ONE OF YOU FUCKS IS CHRYSALIS. AND I BET I KNOW WHICH ONE!!

Luna slams her fist into Doopliss, sending him flying through the wall. When the rubble fades, his disguise has fallen.

DMS: WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS FLYING FUCK?!?

Doopliss: W-What do you mean, Re- Oh fuck.

Chrysalis morphs back into her normal form.

Luna: WAIT, YOU MEAN YOU WERE ACTUALLY DISGUISED AS DMS?!? AND YOU WERE ABOUT TO- OH GOD.

Chrysalis: YOU THINK I LIKED DOING THAT?!

DMS: LET'S ALL SHUT THE FUCK UP HERE. FIRST OFF, WHO THE FUCKING HELL ARE YOU?!?

Doopliss: ...BAILING!!

Doopliss teleports out.

Chrysalis: God fucking DAMNIT!

Chrysalis leaps out of a nearby window. DMS and Luna just stand there, confused.

DMS: What... just... What?

Outside, the three meet up.

Doopliss: WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?! WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SNATCH HER LIKE I SAID?!?

Chrysalis: I had to distract her!! You didn't keep Revelian busy long enough, fatass!!

DDD looks at her with pure rage in his eyes.

Chrysalis: ...YOU didn't keep him distracted, Doopliss!!

Doopliss: I TRIED!! Hell, if it wasn't for the fact YOU were in there, do you know what I would have had to go through?! I get shivers thinking about it!!

Chrysalis: This is why I should have been Luna... I would have actually kept him busy!

Doopliss: WHAT THE FUCK EVER. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE AND COME UP WITH ANOTHER PLAN.

They all run off.

Chapter 8 - What Just... What?
All of the others emerge from thier rooms to investigate the recent commontion. DMS and Luna simply stand there, recollecting what happened.

ZX: Why is there a massive crack in the wall?

He looks to the right.

ZX: Oh... so what happened? I couldn't even tell what was going on.

So DMS explains the turn of events from his point of view.

LD: So, who was the ghost guy?

DMS: Erm... I don't know. He bolted as soon as they got busted. Chrysalis ran too.

Twilight: By the amout of times these people have bothered us, I would assume they're plotting for another attack. The thing is, it would help if we even knew what they were trying to do.

DMS: We'll just have to be vigilant over the next morning. Then we can get the hell outta here. It's a damned shame this had to turn out this way.

Luna: Well, everything else was too. A woman can't even have a baby without the world being in peril.

The hotel clerk appears in the hall. He simply stands there.

Clerk: WHAT JUST HAPPENED UP HERE?!

DMS: We can explain! You see, there were these shapeshifters and a giant penguin...

The clerk looks at him like he's insane.

DMS: Yeah, we can't explain.

Clerk: Well, that's gonna cost you. About 1000 gold to be exact.

DMS: 1000?! Whatever... Kuipter probably owes me 10 times that by now.

DMS hands Clerk 1000 gold. He goes away.

ZX: Now I'm actually going to try to sleep this time. Night, guys.

LD: Yeah, it's freezing cold...

Luna: You mean like your dead wife?

LD: WAT

Luna: What?

LD: Come on, HGD. Let's go back to bed.

Everyone retreats to thier rooms and attempts to get a good nights sleep.

Meanwhile, in another part of the city...

Something Dedede's wearing on his wrist starts to flash and beep.

Chrysalis: What's that? Are you late for your chicken suit fitting?

DDD:

DDD: No, it's a communicator.

Doopliss: Who is it?

DDD: Hold on...

He presses a button on the communicator. The screen goes black, then someone appears on the screen. It's face is pitch black, with only two glowing yellow eyes. It wore a large hat, which resembled a witch's hat.

DDD: It's 'ol black magey.

Doopliss: What does he want?

Black Mage: The boss is getting impatient. Do you have it yet?

Doopliss: No, our plans have failed so far. We're going to try again soon. We think we have a foolproof plan.

Black Mage: Alright, now don't screw up this time. Everything is counting on you guys right now. Black Mage out.

He disappears.

DDD: So what's our new plan?

Doopliss: As I see it, we have only one more option. Direct approach.

DDD: You mean fight them ourselves? You're insane!

Doopliss: No, every time we've faced them we've been alone. Alone, we are all weak, but together, we could take 'em. At least tire them out enough to take one of them.

Chrysalis: When shall we strike?

Doopliss: Tomorrow morning.

Chrysalis: I don't do mornings. How about noon?

Doopliss: Sigh... fine. Noon it is.

The next morning, the guys wake up rather late, due to the previous night's interruption. They begin to pack thier bags and prepare to leave New Hub to return home. They go down the stairs, check out, then walk out the hotel doors. Then, standing right in front of them are our three villains.

DMS: ...Seriously?

Chrysalis: Weren't expecting us, were you Revelian?

DMS: No. I wasn't. At least bedsheet over here showed up. Who the hell are you anyway?

Doopliss: Well, technically, I'm Doopliss, but I can be anyone I want, really.

ZX: What's that supposed to mean?

Doopliss: You'll soon find out, yoshi. We're all sick and tired of these tricks and crap. We just want to take you out the old fashioned way. Get things over with. Yaddayada.

DMS: Take us out? Let's see you try!

Doopliss: As you wish! Let's go!

The three of them charge towards the gang!

Boss Battle: Doopliss, Dedede, and Chrysalis!! TBcNZ9-4hbk
The enemy team gets the first attack!!

Chrysalis: Remember the plans, you thick twats?!

Doopliss: Shaddup!! We remember!!

Doopliss transformed into S17!

Doopliss activated the Speed Amplifier!!

Chrysalis transformed into ZX!!

DMS: Oh FUCK ARE THEY REALLY DOING THIS?!

Chrysalis used PSI Starstorm!!

ZX took 15940 damage!!

DMS took 12034 damage!!

LD took 18503 damage!!

Luna took 12910 damage!

Lazro took 24392 damage!!

Lazro got hurt and collapsed...

S17 took 29403 damage!!

S17 got hurt and collapsed...

HGD took 15940 damage!!

HGD got hurt and collapsed...

Twilight took 19403 damage!!

Twilight got hurt and collapsed...

Pinkie took 24930 damage!!

Pinkie got hurt and collapsed...

02 took 14930 damage!

Dedede smashes with his hammer!!

DMS took 9893 damage!!

Doopliss transformed into ZX!!

Doopliss used PSI Starstorm!!

ZX took 12903 damage!!

ZX got hurt and collapsed...

DMS took 9293 damage!!

DMS got hurt and collapsed...

LD took 13930 damage!!

LD got hurt and collapsed...

Luna took 9293 damage!!

Luna got hurt and collapsed...

02 took 8504 damage!

Chrysalis transformed into ZX!!

Chrysalis used PSI Starstorm!!

02 took 13920 damage!!

02 got hurt and collapsed...

You lost the battle...

Doopliss: W-WOW!! THAT REALLY WORKED?!?

Chrysalis: I told you it would! Now then, I'll be taking this...

Chrysalis picks up DMS' unconscious body.

Chrysalis: You do whatever with the rest of them.

Doopliss: Right... Heheh, thanks for the help!

Chrysalis: Yeah yeah, just don't bother me again.

She walks off.

Doopliss: Now, then... Which one?

Dedede points to Twilight.

Dedede: She's a purple, magic-using Equestrian, so she's probably the one.

Doopliss: But there's TWO purple Equestrians... What about her?

Doopliss points to Luna.

Dedede: Nah, I'm sure this is her! Besides, we never saw the other one use any magic,

Doopliss: Alright. Take her. Let's go before they get up.

Dedede grabs Twilight and they run off. They leave the city, headed off to who knows where...

Later...

ZX slowly fades back into conciousness. His vision blur clears as he begins to remember what happened.

ZX: Ugh... that was brutal. Hey! Is everyone alright?

02: I believe the others are still unconcious. Revelian and Twilight appear to be missing...

ZX: Both of them!? GREAT. JUST FANTASTIC. Not only did we get our asses kicked, but we're stuck with two missing people and no clue as to where any of them went.

02: Hold on... I sense a magic signature... But it's weak.

Some of the others begin to come to.

LD: Wha- what happened?

ZX: Hold on, LD. So you MIGHT be able to lead us to one of them?

02: There's a chance.

ZX: Well that's a chance we're going to have to take. Which direction?

02: To the north-west of our current location. I would think they went as straight as possible.

LD: We gotta follow someone again?

ZX: Yeah. Everyone else okay?

A general rally of "yeah"s and "okay"s are heard.

LD: Who should we find first??

Luna: Revelian, obviously! I'm certain that it was that Chrysalis bitch who took him!

ZX: Well, obviously! But what about Twilight?? We can't just abandon her, either! I mean, she's not going to kill him or anything. Hell, she's in love with him from what we know.

Luna: Remember when we came back from the honeymoon, and Revelian was really weak and tired? She has sex with him once, and it did that to him. She drained energy from him and made him weak. Can you imagine what would happen to him if she did it multiple times!?

ZX: ...Good point... 02, can you tell who's energy that is?

02: Fairly certain it's Chrysalis' signature. I scanned all of the enemies during our battle. I can't even detect that ghost-thing's energy. They must have fled the city. Chrysalis is still here, somewhere.

ZX: Right. Let's go get DMS, then, before she drains him dry.

Chapter 9 - Selfish Vengeance
Somewhere...

Dedede and Doopliss walk into a large room. Black Mage looks at them.

BM: Ah, good, you got just what we needed.

Doopliss: She's the one you're looking for, isn't she?

BM: Of course. This will do quite nicely. Doctor!

A short man walks out of an adjacent room. He has balding grey hair and a large, bushy mustache.

Doctor: What is it? I'm almost done programming our defense system.

BM: Do you have tthe containment unit ready? It won't be long before he gets here, and he'll be expecting it to be ready. We don't want to disappoint him, Wily. If you remember what happened to the last guy...

Wily: Doctor Light was a fool, mage. My skills will prove to be much more useful. It is ready. I do believe I have my priorities straight. Come with me, and bring the girl.

They all walk into the room Wily came out of earlier. Inside is something mechanical lying on a table to the side, and over on another side of the room are two large tubular devices, connected to a device in the middle.

Wily: Put her in the one on the left, if you will.

Dedede opens the hatch to the unit and places Twilight inside. Wily walks over to the device and adjusts some switches.

Wily: This will suffice until we get the transfer vessel. Now, out, out. I have much work to do.

They leave the busy scientist to his work. The three others sit in the main room, waiting for whatever it was that they were waiting for.

Meanwhile...

Luna: I hope we find Revelian soon! I can't imagine what that love-sucker's doing to him.

02: We should be close. It's almost like we're right on top of them, but, there's nothing here...

ZX: Hmm... maybe they're underground! In the sewers. Of all the places nobody would go, that's one of them.

02: Oh... it seems that possibility slipped my mind. Shall we proceed through that manhole?

ZX takes a look at the ground. Nearby is a manhole cover, surely enough it has carelessly been left slightly ajar. ZX gets a good grip on the lid and lifts it up, then sets it down next to the hole.

ZX: Let's go.

ZX jumps down, soon followed by the rest of the gang. 02 replaces the cover behind them.

Lazro: This place isn't as gross as I expected.

ZX: Well, remember, the city's pretty new, so the sewers are a lot cleaner than most. Thank goodness for our sake...

02: They are not far, down this corridor.

LD: Maybe we should just follow you.

02 leads the gang through several corridors of the sewers. She then stops abruptly.

02: They must be around this corner. I'll take a peek.

02 peeks around the corner, then returns.

02: That situation disturbs me.

Luna: What does that mean!? Come on! We gotta stop her!

ZX: Alright. Whatever I see in there is on you.

Luna: Let's go kill a bitch.

They move into the next area.

(Theme)

They see Chrysalis raise up off of DMS, having finished her "session". She turns towards the others, snarls, and vanishes.

Luna: R-Revelian...!!

She runs over to him. DMS doesn't even raise his head up.

DMS: 4... times... ghgh....

Luna: Oh, God!!

02: Wait, I can help him!

02 runs towards him, and prepares to give him energy. Luna backs up.

Suddenly, Chrysalis warps in behind 02 and rams her fist through her back!

ZX: 02!!

Chrysalis rips her arm out of her, and 02 falls to the ground.

DMS: N...no...

Luna: You BITCH!!

02 raises her head weakly off of the ground.

02: D-dark... stone... egh...

Chrysalis snarls and stomps 02 viciously, finishing her off.

Chrysalis: Silence... Hahaha... I've gotten so powerful... Now, I'll kill you insolent fools, and he'll be all mine...

Boss: Enhanced Chrysalis!
ZX slices with his sword!

Chrysalis takes 120 damage!

LD attacks with TRANCE!

Chrysalis takes 210 damage!

Luna fires the PK30 Machine Gun!

Chrysalis takes 320 damage!

HGD attacks!

Chrysalis doesn't take any damage!

Lazro charges in with the Dual 02 Katanas!

Chrysalis doesn't take any damage!

Iala fires the HELLBENDER!

Chrysalis takes 201 damage!

Twilight launches a magic blast!

Chrysalis takes 102 damage!

Pinkie fires the Bolt Gun!

Chrysalis takes 145 damage!

Chrysalis transformed into ZX!!

Chrysalis used PSI STARSTORM!!

ZX took 59403 damage!!

ZX got hurt and collapsed...

Yeah yeah everyone got hurt and collapsed.

You lost the battle...

Chrysalis: Hahaha!! With this power, I can defeat ANYONE!!

???: Kuipter, please silence her.

Kuipter: Yeah yeah...

Suddenly, a massive yellow laser smashes into Chrysalis! She goes flying against a wall!

Kuipter floats over towards the gang. Celestia stands behind him, carrying Solaria and Starbreeze.

Luna: Y-you!!

Celestia: Sister, are you really so weak that you cannot defeat this underling?

Luna: Shut up!

Kuipter then notices 02's corpse.

Kuipter: M-mom!!

Kuipter runs over to her corpse and shakes it, while mournfully crying out "mom" over and over.

ZX: Wow... Kuipter's actually sad about something??

Celestia: Luna, hold these.

Celestia hands Luna the babies. She walks towards Kuipter and puts a comforting hand on his shoulder. Kuipter suddenly stands up.

Kuipter: WHERE IS THAT SHAPEHIFTING SLUT?!?

They only hear distant hoofsteps as Chrysalis runs away.

Kuipter: That BITCH!! SHE MURDERED MY MOTHER!!

Celestia: Kuipter, dear, relax...

Kuipter: RELAX?!? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!? WHY THE HELL AREN'T YOU SAYING ANYTHING ABOUT IT?!?

Kuipter angrily points at DMS.

Luna: Because he doesn't have the strength to even TALK at the moment!! You think this isn't tearing him up, too?!?

Kuipter: ...

ZX: DMS can't fight like this... He's way too weak...

LD: Didn't 02 say something about a "dark stone" before... well, that happened?

Kuipter: ...Dark stones can regenerate our powers if needed...

ZX: So, we'll have to get one. However, we still need to save Twilight...

Luna: But Revelian can't fight like this!

Celestia: ...Hmm, I have an idea... You might not like it...

Luna: ...

Celestia: What if you and Revelian went home so he can rest, and me and Kuipter take his place?

ZX:

LD: WAT.

Celestia: We'd make competent replacements for him and my sister, wouldn't we?

LD: Well, yeah, but...

Celestia: But nothing. Luna, teleport you, Revelian, the babies, and... well, my mother-in-law home. We'll hold a funeral for her when this adventure is over.

Kuipter doesn't say anything. Luna simply nods, walks towards DMS and 02, and teleports all of them away.

ZX: Wow... I can't believe 02 actually...

LD: We can't worry about that... We still need to save Twilight.

Celestia: Yes, so... Where exactly is she?

ZX: ...02 was the only one who could trace energy sources. FFFFF-

Celestia: Wait, actually, I could sense Twilight's power if I wanted to.

ZX: FFFFFUCK YEAH. Ok, let's go!

They all run off, except for Kuipter. He nods his head and floats after them, silently.

Chapter 10 - Programmed Insanity
Back at teh evil base...

A figure warps into the room.

Black Mage: Ah! You have arrived!

?: Do you have the source?

BM: But of course. Come, come.

They move to Wily's chamber. Black Mage knocks on the solid door.

Wily: One moment!

BM: He's here, Wily! Open the door!

Wily: Oh, well I do say... second now...

The door slides open. Black Mage and the other figure float in.

?: Where have you put her?

Wily: Over here. I say, she appears to possess much power.

?: Hmm... ah yes, but she has not unlocked this power. Here, place this in the chamber, will you?

He hands Wily a dark, indigo colored sphere. A black star shape appears on the front. It feels extremely heavy compared to it's size. Wily carfully sets it in the receiving end of the device.

?: Now, Wily, I have spent ages, dimension by dimension piecing this together. It is a powerful artifact, in possession of absolute dark power. You will take upmost care of this, or it'll be your head.

Wily: U... understood. Speaking of which, I have something to show you all. Come, come.

They move into another area. Wily walks over to a mechanical panel, where he starts to type in some commands.

?: What is it?

Wily: It will most definitely keep our guest nice company, and be sure to eliminate any un-needed pests that might try to meddle... Ah! There it goes! Now, this technology took me very long time to...

Wily rambles on.

Lines appear on the screen:

System.variable-Power/Function = online.

System.variable-Host_Mode = online.

System.variable-Security = online.

System OS GLaDOS online.

A round mechanical mass appears out of a hatch on the cieling. It appears to have an "eye" that glows yellow. The "head" faces them.

GLaDOS: Greetings, doctor. My functions are stable.

Wily: Very good, very good.

GLaDOS: Shall I bake a cake?

Wily: Erm... I don't think that is in order.

GLaDOS: I love cake. This is the truth.

Wily: Well, the personality is a bit off, but she's a magnificent computer. I also developed this weapon from parts where I found GLaDOS. As far as I know it was designed to shoot interdimensional pathways. Portals, if you will.

?: Intriguing... gentlemen, would you leave me to myself for a moment?

Black Mage: Let's move.

BM and Wily leave.

? walks over to Twilight in the holding cell.

?: Where... where do I know this... This being. It's almost as if a fading dream, slipping from me... WHY DO I KNOW THIS?! WHO ELSE AM I?!

Twilight begins to come to.

?: It seems as I must go.

He warps away.

Meanwhile...

The gang climbs out of the sewers.

ZX: So, Celestia, where exactly IS Twilight??

Celestia: Hmm... Somewhere to the north. It's quite a distance away...

ZX: Oh, geez. Well, at least we got the situation with the kids taken care of. Luna's going to take care of the babies, now, which is good.

Celestia: Hm.

LD: Wait... There's nothing but an ocean to the north...

Kuipter: Isn't there some sort of train station?

LD: ...DOY.

Iala: Well, if there IS a subway here, we should take it.

ZX: What is it with the train station having any major significance on the plot recently??

LD: No idea. Let's just warp back home. Our stuff is still in the hotel, so it should be safe...

Suddenly, Luna appears!

Luna: Pinkie!

Pinkie: Yeah??

Luna: Use this!

Luna throws Pinkie the PK30 Machine Gun.

Pinkie: Thanks, princess!

Luna: No problem. I'm off again!

Luna teleports away.

ZX: WELL DAT WAS RANDOM!

Lazro: Moo.

Celestia: ...Umm... Let's go.

Celestia teleports them all back to ZX's castle.

ZX: Ok, let's head off towards the Train Station!

They all head off.

At the train station...

ZX: This dreary place again. Hey, look!

They see two large robots guarding an entrance.

ZX: Think this leads to their fortress?

HGD: Probably. Let's get em!

They charge towards the robots!

Battle: 2 Guts Men!
ZX slices with his sword!

Guts Man 1 takes 1021 damage!

LD attacks with TRANCE!

Guts Man 1 takes 3920 damage!!

HGD attacks!

Guts Man 1 takes 1430 damage!

Iala fires the HELLBENDER!

Guts Man 1 take 1210 damage!

Guts Man 2 takes 2140 damage!

Lazro charges in with the Dual 02 Katanas!

Guts Man 1 takes 1243 damage!

S17 charges up a mega slash!

Pinkie fires the PK30 Machine Gun!

Guts Man 1 takes 2594 damage!

Celestia launches a blast of fire!!

Guts Man 1 takes 9605 damage!!

Guts Man 1 was destroyed!

Kuipter fires his arm cannon!

Guts Man 2 takes 4590 damage!

Guts Man 2 throws a giant boulder!

ZX takes 4950 damage!

ZX slices with his sword!

Guts Man 2 takes 1490 damage!

LD attacks with TRANCE!

Guts Man 2 takes 3804 damage!

HGD attacks!

Guts Man 2 takes 1321 damage!

Iala fires the HELLBENDER!

Guts Man 2 takes 2593 damage!

Lazro activates the HAIRPIN! It became a Hyper Bomb!

Lazro throws the Hyper Bomb!

Guts Man 2 takes 14930 damage!!

Guts Man 2 was destroyed!

YOU WIN!!

ZX: Aren't those things from the Mega Man video game?? Who are we dealing with, exactly?

LD: DOCTOR WAHWEE?!

ZX: No way. It can't be true!!

Kuipter: To hell with that. Let's just go!!

They get on a train and head off.

Meanwhile, AGAIN...

Twilight wakes up. She opens here eyes, surrounded by a strange lab area. She starts to move but her arm hits the plexiglass screen of the cell.

Twilight: Wha- where am I?! Somebody help!!

GLaDOS turns towards Twilight.

G: Oh, it seems that you have awoken.

Twilight: Who are you!? What is this?! Where am I?!

G: I am not programmed with that information.

Twilight: Can you at least tell me why I'm in this weird machine?

G: Well, if I calculate correctly, you are inside an energy transfer chamber. Would you like some cake?

Twilight: Cake? Wha- what do you mean energy tranfer?

G: The machine will drain your life essence to fuel whatever it is that is in the other chamber.

Twilight: THIS IS GOING TO KILL ME?!

G: Here, have this.

A metal cube comes through a tube in the cell. It has a circle with a heart on it on each side.

Twilight: What is this?

G: It's your companion cube. It loves you. It will not threaten to stab you.

Twilight: This is just a metal cube! WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!

G: Why don't you love companion cube? Companion cube loves cake love lies.

Twilight: WHAT KIND OF NUT HOUSE IS THIS?! LET ME OUT OF HERE!!

G: Do you love companion cube? Companion cube cube cube? Here's some truth!

Several cakes fall into the chamber.

G: I love cake!! Compppp-zszrt-I'm not lying!!

Cake shoots out everywhere, causing a sticky mess to cover the lab.

G: Happy! Happy! We all die cake!! Don't die anyway anywayzzzrt #YOLO

Strange gas starts to fill Twilight's cell.

Twilight: Cough, what, cough... this is poison...

G: Happy Birthday!

Twilight: I'm... I can't ...cough....ugh...

She passes out. It seems like the end, but then, suddenly, the door bursts open. Black Mage rushes in. He sees what's happening and launches a bolt at Twilight's cell, which bursts open and releases the gas.

G: ERROR 404 THREAT DETECTED. SECURITY ACTIVATERZZZ CAKE IS GOOOOOD...

BM: What in hell...?

GLaDOS turns to Black Mage and starts shooting needles at him, which are presumably filled with toxins. He blocks them and moves over to the control panel. BM breaks the control panel, but GLaDOS continues to go bonkers.

G: Everybody's getting cake!!

The toxic gas then starts to fill the room from all directions. BM casts a fireball at GLaDOS's "body", which bursts into flames.

G: Happy... tur,sznzssjjjj nsm would you like some SSWWWAAAHHHH. zzrppzzk.

GLaDOS falls apart and is destroyed. Black Mage goes and grabs Twilight and blows the door open, rushing them both out of the room.

BM: That... was horrible. What kind of madman are you Dimentio? What kind of sick mind do you possess?

?: According to you, mage, a very twisted one.

BM turns around sharply. In front of him is floating a dark shadow, with a mask half white and half dark. An unchanging grin locked onto his face. Wearing clothes of a mime, jester, or clown, was Dimentio.

BM: You... were you going to kill this poor soul?

D: Why would you think not? As if it were something special. These idiots won't know the difference once the plan is done anyway.

BM: As if it was nothing? You throw around death and agony as if a meer toy. You have a sick heart Dimentio.

D: One of chaos, Mage. Now I suggest you let it go...

He turns away.

BM: Let it go!? LET IT GO?! I'VE SEEN TOO MUCH TO LET IT GO. YOU KILLED A MAN OVER THIS AND I WON'T SEE ANOTHER DIE BY MY IGNORANCE. DIE YOU BASTARD!!

Black Mage casts a huge bolt of magic, however Dimentio turns around and casts back. Thier two magic forces collide. Think this.

Dimentio: You aren't going to try and suprise a spirit of trickery, now are you? Somebody's going to die here! Lucky day! Go ahead! Fulfill you're selfish needs!! Kill me!! But let her die by my cast! Your choice!!

They continue to collide. As they duel, BM realizes his position. He decides to take action.

BM: NOT TODAY!

Black Mage uses the last of his energy to warp Twilight away. He is struck hard by Dimentio's magic, which sends him flying into the wall. He is nearly fatally wounded.

Dimentio: I am impressed! You managed to surprise me a little! But then again I might have expected this. Sorry to see it end this way. You would have liked to see the show.

BM: Rrg... I guess I'll see you in hell...

Mage fades. His magic body disappears, leaving behind a hat and cloak.

D: I'll be sure to stop by. Now...to see about that- oh drat. It seems as though I've killed him. I guess I'll have to find a new vessel. All will work out. My plan will succeed. Nobody will stop me! NOBODY!! NOBODY BLUMIERE!! YOU HEAR ME?? NOBODY!!!!!

Chapter 11 - Base of Evil And Stuff
The train arrives at a large base. Sitting outside. on a bench, is Twilight.

ZX: Hey, it's Twilight!!

The gang rushes out of the door towards her.

Twilight: Ugh... That one guy... He saved me. Some jester tried to kill me...

LD: Shenanigans??

Twilight: N-no... He was different...

ZX: Relax. You need to stay here, ok?? What exactly happened??

Twilight: Some crazy robot tried to kill me... I saw some magician save me, and then that jester appeared... The magician teleported me out here...

ZX: Weird... Ok, so you stay out here. HGD, Iala, watch her, ok??

They both nod. They take her back onto the train and lock the doors.

ZX: Ok, let's go!

They leave the train station. Standing before them is a large, mechanical "castle". On it is a giant skull.

ZX: So, Wily IS involved in this?? What the hell??

LD: No idea. Let's just go.

They storm the castle, and make their way through it.

The base seems to be more or less abandoned.

Celestia: ...Strange.

Kuipter:...

ZX: Well, at least there's nothing slowing us down.

So they wander around the castle for a while, until they make it to a large door.

ZX: Think something major's in here??

Lazro: Probably.

LD: Welp, nothing else to do.

They charge inside. As they enter the room, it is a huge expanse, with a couple doors on each wall of the massive hexagonal room. The main feature however, is a huge robotic tank-like machine. It appears to have several features, including a large skull on the front. There is thick glass covering the eyeholes, inside sits Wily.

Wily: Ah, yes. You have arrived.

ZX: What is this? What were you all doing with Twilight?

Wily: Oh me? I facilitate many aspects of this but by no means am I the one controlling all of this. I would gladly take time to introduce, but I believe that my main priority was to destroy you.

Kuipter: Oh yeah? Come get some muthafukka!

Celestia facepalms.

Celestia: You're so much like your brother.

Kuipter:

ZX: Whatever guys, let's just do this.

Wily's Machine moves forward!

Boss: Wily Machine!!
ZX slices with his sword!

Wily Machine takes 1504 damage!

LD attacks with TRANCE!

Wily Machine takes 3293 damage!

Lazro activates the HAIRPIN! It became a Mega Buster!

Lazro fires the Mega Buster!

Wily Machine takes 9503 damage!!

S17 charges up a mega slash!

Celestia launches a wave of flames!!

Wily Machine takes 7960 damage!!

Kuipter charges up a giga-laser!

Wily Machine fires bolts of electricity!!

ZX takes 9203 damage!

LD takes 6950 damage!

Lazro takes 15490 damage!

Lazro got hurt and collapsed...

S17 takes 18594 damage!

S17 got hurt and collapsed...

Celestia doesn't take any damage!

Kuipter takes 2193 damage!

ZX used PSI Freeze!

Wily Machine doesn't take any damage!

LD attacks with TRANCE!

Wily Machine takes 3695 damage!

Celestia launches a wave of flames!

Wily Machine takes 9450 damage!!

Kuipter fires the Giga Laser!!

Wily Machine takes 18594 damage!!

Wily Machine started to explode!!

YOU WIN!!

Wily: Argh!!

A capsule bursts out of the machine with Wily in it. The capsule floats away, however, a bolt of dark magic flies across the room and hits the capsule, knocking it to the ground.

Dimentio: You didn't think you were going to get away with that, did you?

Wily: They destroyed my machine, Dimentio.

Dimentio: Are you dead?! You have not fufilled your responsibility! Do you know what "ON YOUR HEAD" means?

Wily: I...please..please don't kill me.

Dimentio: No, no. I'll send you on a little trip, if you will.

A box appears around the Wily capsule. It encloses around the capsule, and the inside of the box starts exploding.

Wily: NO! NO!!!!! AAAHHH!!!!

The explosions stop, and Wily is no longer present.

ZX: What did you just do to him?!

Dimentio: Why, I sent him somwhere.

ZX: You killed him!

Dimentio: Not exactly. The issue right now is, what are you doing here?

ZX: You kidnapped our friend and apparently tried to kill her! That's what we're doing here!

Dimentio: You all came here over that? Quite petty.

Pinkie: Petty? She WOULD HAVE DIED!

Dimentio: Death is overrated. Destruction gets a bad reputation. In the world there must be destruction to equal creation. You all can't seem to grasp that.

Kuipter: I'm SICK of this shit talk! Just kill him!

Kuipter fires his arm cannon at Dimentio. He creates a barrier and deflects the beam.

Dimentio: If you all are who I believe you to be, I have a small errand for you.

Celestia: Errand? When did we become your minions.

Dimentio: Be sure to return!

The same box that appeared around Wily appears around the gang.

ZX: Wha- what are you doing!?

Dimentio: Ciao!

The same explosive reaction occurs. When its stops, they are gone.

Dimentio: Now, to wait... they should bring the vessel back with them. Then it will all be over! HAAAHAHAHA!!

Chapter 12 - Level -1
The gang wakes up. They are surrounded by nothing but black.

ZX: Wha- we're still alive?

?: Hardly.

ZX: Who's that?

Shadow: I'm a shadow, a manifestation of a dark soul. This is Level -1. An afterlife of sorts.

ZX: What, so we're, like, in hell? I don't get it.

Shadow: Much more of infinite boredom than punishment. An Asphodel Meadows, if you will.

LD: Can we get out of here?

Shadow: It's possible, but few do. You'll have to go to the gatekeeper. Then he'll judge you, and if you pass the test, you might just be able to return.

Kuipter: Where the hell (no pun intended) do we find him?

Shadow: Just keep traveling forward. There's really nothing to this place except emptiness. You'll get there eventually.

ZX: Thanks I guess. Come on guys. I don't understand what's going on here in the least, but we have to try.

Kuipter: Hey? What's that over there?

A dark cloaked figure sits to the side, bent over. Kuipter approaches it slowly. It seems to be crying. As Kuipter appoches it even further he recognizes her.

Kuipter: MOTHER!!

02 turns around, to be embraced by Kuipter. 02 at first seems happy, but then seems worried.

Kiuipter: What is it?

02: If you're here, then you must be dead.

Kuipter: It's okay! We found you! According to some whats-his-face there's a way out. You just have to follow us.

02: I've heard of the gatekeeper, Kuipter. I know we can get out, but think about it. Our lives are filled with nothing but sin, son. There's no way...

Kuipter: There's always a way! Don't think like that! We have to try!

ZX: Hate to intrude on a touching moment here, but we kinda have to go...

Kuipter: Will you come with us?

02: If you insist...

She goes with them. They continue to walk forward into the nothingness...

Meanwhile, at DMS castle...

Luna walks into the bedroom. DMS lies on the bed, unmoving.

Luna: Are you doing okay, Revelian?

DMS' eye flickers into view.

DMS: Y...eah... Do you... know... about what's... happening? With... them?

Luna: I should probably check in on them. Here, I'll call ZX.

She dials the number on his phone. The dial tone is heard a few times.

"You have reached the line of - ZoshiX. Please try again later. We are sorry for the incovenience.

Luna: Hmm... maybe the communicator?

Luna gets out a device, and accesses the contact "ZoshiX." The screen simply shows static.

Luna: ...Revelian. There's something wrong here. Something happened to them. Something bad.

DMS: Go... after them...

Luna: What?! I can't leave you here alone! Not to metion our AND Celestia's kid!

DMS: There's no... other option. I'm startin to rec...over some strength. You have to...

Luna sighs deeply.

Luna: Revelian, you better not die on me...

DMS: Will do.

She leans over to him and gives him a quick kiss. She then grabs the XM6000, and heads out, looking back before leaving, still worried about DMS. Luna follows the signal from ZX's communicator, and begins the search for people she won't find.

Meanwhile, DMS manages to get to his feet. He staggers around, a bit.

DMS: Ghh... Gotta... Rgh.

DMS staggers into the kitchen. He hears a baby cry.

DMS: Fuck.

Meanwhile...

Luna continues to search for the gang. Suddenly, the communicator goes on the fritz.

Luna: What's wrong with this thing??

Suddenly, she gets hooked from behind by Chrysalis!!

Luna: Y-You!!

Chrysalis: So, you thought you could just wander around by yourself, huh?! Now's my chance... You're all alone... I could easily take you on myself...!!

Luna: Damnit!!

And the two begin to fight.

Back in the Minus World...

They continue to walk through nothingness.

Kuipter: When does this end? This place is BOOO-RRING.

ZX: We'll get there when we get there.

Kuipter: Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?...

ZX: Sigh...

Celestia moves over to Kuipter. They walk off to the side.

Celestia: That jester,-

Kuipter: De Mentos? Or whatever his name was?

Celestia: Yes. When we were in his lair. I sensed... a dark power. A very powerful object of dark energy in that room.

Kuipter: So?

Celestia: Remember?! We're not helping these fools for nothing. Those idiots probably think we're actually helping them right now.

Kuipter: What? So we got rid of Retardi-o? Then what?

Celestia: Then we take whatever that thing was! They won't expect it at all! We'll use the power to do whatever we want!

Kuipter: I'm beginning to like this... I was starting to wonder if you just got over being banished to the sun. I mean, that's some serious shit.

Celestia: Oh, really? I didn't banish her for 1,000 years for nothing, Kuipter. Grudges like that don't just go away. I was just putting on a happy little face and going with these idiot's plans.

ZX: Guys! I think I see something!

Kuipter: Let's go. We'll talk later.

They move forward. Finally, in front of them stands an enormous, ornate gate. It is shrouded black, and a large, dark angel looking being stands in front of it.

Gatekeeper: What business do you have here?

ZX: Well, we kind of, umm.. wanted to see if you could let us pass...

Gatekeeper: One does not simply leave. I'll need to-

Kuipter: Get to the chase. We have a world to save and whatnot.

Gatekeeper: Save the world? How many times will it need saving? I don't just let anyone pass through these gates.

Pinkie: Please! Revelian, Twilight... Everyone is in trouble if we don'-

Gatekeeper: Did you say Revelian?

Pinkie: Um... yes?

Gatekeeper: That guy's been through here, like, eight times. Geez, it's annoying. If you're friends with him, I'll let you all pass, heck, I'll just send you back right now! Just don't come back!

02: Well that was easier than expected...

Gatekeeper: BUT.

ZX: ...What??

Gatekeeper: 02 cannot return to life.

ZX: What?!

Gatekeeper: She was honestly killed. The rest of you weren't "killed". You were "sent" here, weren't you?

ZX: Yeah... Dimentio sent us.

Gatekeeper: Ugh. I'm sick of that asshole constantly sending people here! There was an old man who ran through here a while ago.

ZX: Wily!

Gatekeeper: Was that his name? Oh well. Anyways, she can't go. Sorry. Now, you wanna go or not??

Kuipter: ...Lemme say goodbye, first...

ZX:

Kuipter walks over to 02 and gives her a hug.

Kuipter: B-bye, mom...

02: Farewell, my child. Say goodbye to Revelian, for me...

Kuipter sniffles once and nods his head. 02 lets him go and backs away. The gang walks towards the Gatekeeper. He sends them all back to reality!