The Battle for a Universe: The Lost Relics

Intro
New Story! With a colon! DAMNIT Following the events in ''Wrapping Things Up. ''Go through the past and present as our heroes try to save our universe for impending peril!

Characters
Minor Appearances (maybe)
 * ZoshiX
 * Ludicrine
 * DMSwordsmaster
 * Luna
 * Samuel17
 * Lazro

Prologue
A long, long time ago, when the world was young, there were the ancients, and there were the worlds. The ancients, powerful beings, living in the vastness of the universe, ruled over thier own respective domain. There were five ancient ones, who served on the council. There they kept balance over the universe, which would last for what seemed forever. One day however, that changed...

One of the ancients noticed the increasing deeds of evil going on in the wonderful universe. He thought that it had to be destroyed, so that no longer corruption could live and life could start anew. His mind corrupted as his hatred for the world grew. In an attempt to complete his goal, he stole the relics of the ancients, powerful objects that could allow thier wielder to do almost anything together. The other ancients joined together to stop him. They used thier powers to seal the fifth in the deepest parts of existance. However he was so powerful it took all of thier energy to do this, and the ancients were in turn trapped in mortal bodies. Thier kin are supposed to exist today, but they are unknown and posess nowhere near the power of thier ancestors. The ancient relics were scattered across space, thier current location unknown. Everything was normal.

Until the seal broke...

Chapter 1 - A Day in a Ghost Town
It was another day in the main city. Everything was calmer than back in the day. The bustling streets had turned to vacant passages with occasional passerby's. Dust gathered on the front desk in the lobby of the LDZX HQ. Nobody was around anymore. What was to become of Fan-Balldom?

ZX walked into the office, let out a deep sigh, and sat down in his big swivel chair. Talking to himself-

ZX: What did we do wrong? This was the biggest booming business in all of anything. This place is as empty as crap. If we keep this up we'll be in serious debt. Everyone has freaking disappeared.

He sat there, fiddling with some papers as the entry doors stood shut as they always do.

Elsewhere...

DMS and Luna sit on a couch, watching TV. They were completely bored. Solaria also sat nearby, asleep.

DMS: Yeesh. SR World is so quiet nowadays. No one lives here anymore.

Luna: At least things are peaceful, now...

DMS: Yeah. These last few months have been absolutely horrible... What, with the God of Corruption attacking, ZX getting possessed, LD going batshit crazy, and you having a baby...

Luna: What was that last one?!

DMS: LD going batshit crazy.

Luna: That's what I thought.

DMS: Relax, baby. I'm just messing with you.

Luna: I know.

They both kiss once. They look into each others' eyes lovingly and kiss again.

Luna: No, not now Revelian...

DMS grunts angrily and moves back.

Luna: Revelian, our kid is sitting right there. Seriously...

DMS: *Sigh* Yeah, I know... Yeesh. Haven't been able to have nearly as much fun with her around...

Luna giggles at him.

Luna: Well, we'll have some fun tonight, then. How does that sound?

They look into each others' eyes again and kiss.

DMS: Perfect.

Back at LDZX...

LD walked into the office, with ZX.

LD: Hey, ZX. Check out these two new pet toys DMS made.

ZX looks up. LD throws the Interactive Doll V2.

ZX: Great, another one of these?

LD: Comes with 30 new lines.

ZX facepalms.

ZX: DMS and his trolling... What's the other toy?

A small plushie beans off of his head.

ZX: What is this? It looks like Luna... sort of.

LD: It's a stress-relief toy! Watch this.

LD takes the toy away and smashes it with an anchor. It leaves the toy wrinkled up and smashed.

ZX: Geez, do you hate Luna that much??

LD: Hush.

Soon, the toy re-inflates, completely removing any form of damage.

ZX: Yeesh! Cool toy. Looks weird, though.

LD: I know, right?

ZX: Well, I gotta go get some files from the town library, watch the place while I'm gone.

LD: Alrighty then, wait, since when do we keep files there?

ZX: I archived some of the old ac papers, but I need to recover a few for some reorganizing and stuff.

LD: Oh, ok then.

ZoshiX then promptly exits the building and heads off to the city's library to do the stuff he said he went there to do and stuff because he was knocking on the door.

ZX: Hey! How's the new job going?

Twilight: Oh, well, I'd say the working conditions here are much better. It feels so good to be back in my strong suit.

ZX: Good to hear! I need to access the archives, can you get the key to the back? I think I lost my copy somehwere... Y'know, no pockets?

TS: Hehe, Alright. Here's the key. Remember to bring it back, 'kay?

ZX: Thanks, will do.

ZoshiX heads to the rear part of the library, where a large thick door with a sign "authorized personnel only" is. He inserts the key and turns it, opening the door to the archives. The door creaks open. It is obvious it hasnt been opened in a while.

ZX: Ugh -pfft- I dont remember it being this webby in here. Now, where are those files? files... files... Ah! Now I remember. They're over... here.

He picks up a small pile of folders and starts to walk back towards the door.

ZX: Now I'll just pu- DAFUQ

ZX slips on something and falls, scattering the papers all across the floor.

ZX: -sigh- I swear...

He picks up the papers on the floor and heads back to the front desk.

ZX: Thanks! Here's the key. Oh, and you might want to sweep up in there, I slipped on something.

TS: Oh, sorry about that. I hope you found what you were looking for.

ZX: Alright. See you later!

TS: Have a nice day!

ZoshiX exits the library and heads back to the office.

Chapter 2 - What Have We Here?
LD: Hey! You're back! Picked us up some coffee.

ZX: Oh, thanks. Say, could you help me reorganize these files? There was an issue at the library, and yeah.

LD: Sure. Alright now... Gladus, Annual, Jango, Blasty...

ZX: Be right back, gotta go.

LD: Ok.

ZX heads off to the men's room, while LD continues to sort papers.

~Meanwhile, back at the library~

Twilight walks into the archives with some cleaning supplies.

Twilight: Hmm... You know, this place really could use some clean-up, I mean, cobwebs, mysterious fluids on the floor? What's up with that?

doo dee doo doo dee dah dah doo dah de...

TS: Hm? I could've sworn I saw something... oh well.

~she continues to hum and clean. Then all of the sudden, she hears someone whispering~

???: Where the hell is it?

TS: Huh? Who...who's there?

???: shh... theres someone else here...

Twilight stops what she was doing and sneaks behind a bookcase to sneak in on the conversation.

???: That paper was F/CKING IMPORTANT you scrubbling!

???: S-sir, I...

???: Just... just no, we have to figure out what happened to it.

TS: What are they talking about?

~a shadow appears behind Twilight~

???: Why, I'm afraid thats none of your business, ma'am.

Twilight spins around to face the shadow. It grabs her!!

~meanwhile, back at the office~

LD's organizing the files. Suddenly, DMS and Luna walk into the office as well.

LD: Well, there's the newlyweds! Aren't you supposed to be on your honeymoon?

DMS: Yeah, we had to sort of put a hold on that...

LD: Well, that sucks, sorry to hear that.

DMS: Nah, it's nothing major. We'll be ready to go within the next week.

LD: Well, that's good!

DMS: So, where'd you get these papers?

LD: Oh, these? These are just pet info. ZX got them from the library.

DMS: Oh, I see. What're you doing with them?

LD: Organizing.

DMS: ...Well, ok then. Me and Luna just dropped by to say hi on our way to the Library.

LD: Oh, okay then.

DMS: Ok, then. Later.

DMS and Luna leave the office and head towards the library.

ZX: So, how far you've got so far?

LD: To the G's...

ZX: Alright, here gimme a pile.

LD: There you go.

ZX: Blasty, Gladus, Jango, Erg... hey, what's this?

LD: What?

ZoshiX pulls out an old, dusty, crumpled peice of paper. As he unfolds it, it appears to be a sort of map. It has faded pictures of places that seem to be recognizable to ZX and LD.

ZoshiX: What the heck? I don't remember this being in the library. Is it yours?

LD: Not by a long shot! We should ask DMS what this is. Maybe he'll know...

ZX: I guess we'll have to go back to the library... lets go.

They head to the library.

Meanwhile, DMS and Luna arrive at the library.

Luna: Hello?? Twilight?? You in here?

???: More people?! Seriously!?

DMS draws his sword.

???: Wait a second... That's "them"!! That's the queen of SR World and her husband!!

Luna: Flattered that you'd call me that, but I'm nowhere near the queen of this world. I'm married to one of the rules, but I'M not the ruler.

???: You insolent bafoon!! You told me she was the queen!!

???: How the hell was I supposed to know that? She was one of the rulers of Equestria, wasn't she?!

???: You and your stupid TV shows...

???: Hey, I like that show!

???: IT'S MEANT FOR 6 YEAR OLDS. LIKE YOU!!

???: I ain't a 6 year old!

???: NO, YOU'RE JUST AN IDIOT!!!

DMS: This is getting old. Fast.

DMS leaps towards the source of the voices. After a bit of kicking and surprised yelps, DMS walks out, carrying two beings. One is a large, robotic being with a black cloak, some staff, and exposed machinery on the top of his head covered with blue glass. The other is a short being that has a resemblance to the first, but is wearing a red suit with a cross on the chest, as well as goggles that cover its face.

DMS: First off, who the hell are YOU?

DMS points to the robot.

???: Why, how dare you question me so, you insolent being? First, dear sir, let me ask just what the hell are YOU?

DMS: I'm gonna be the guy who rips your head off and uses it as a soccer ball if you don't answer my question.

???: I suggest you speak sir.

???: Shut up minion. If you must insist, I will infor-

DMS: GET TO IT.

???: I am sir Grodus, supreme leader of the secret society of X-Nauts, reformed. Now if you will, I would like for you to return that map of mine.

DMS: What map??

ZX and LD walk inside.

ZX: Hey, whose this guy?

DMS: Hey, ZX! What kind of map do you have?

ZX: I don't know, that's what we came to ask you about!

DMS: Well I don't know!! This guy here says that it belongs to him.

ZX: Oh really?? Ok then.

ZX hands DMS the map, completely forgetting about the fact that Grodus is, idk, EVIL?!? (They don't know this, however.)

DMS: Ok, well, here's the map. Or whatever.

DMS carefully hands Grodus the map.

Luna: I don't know, this guy seems a little fishy... And where's Twilight??

Grodus: Why thank you, kind sir, but now I must be going. I have a relic chamber to get to!

DMS: Wait, what's this about relics?

Grodus's staff begins to flash strangely. His figure begins to fade, he seems to be warping.

Grodus: See you later, fools! GACK ACK ACK ACKACK!!!!

DMS: Hey WAIT-

Just as Grodus disappears, DMS grabs part of the map, which then tears in two. Grodus doesn't have time to realize this before he disappears.

DMS: What have we just done? And what is a relic chamber?

DMS turns and sees that the other guy is still standing there.

???: OH JEEZ, ERR, SIR, YOU FORGOT TO TAKE ME WITH YOU!!

DMS grabs the little guy before he can run off.

DMS: Ok, then, now who are YOU??

???: I-I'm just an X-Naut!!

DMS: A what??

X-Naut: A minion of Grodus!!

DMS: And what was Grodus talking about??

X-Naut: I-I don't know!!

DMS: That's not a good answer. I suggest you tell me the truth.

X-Naut: Oh yeah?! And what if I don't?!!

DMS rips the mask off of his face and roars at the X-Naut. The X-Naut nearly pisses himself.

X-Naut: OK OK OK I'LL TELL YOU WHATEVER YOU WANT OH MY GOD!!

DMS: Good boy. First off, where's Twilight??

X-Naut: We have her tied up in the archive room!!

DMS: What are these "relics" that Grodus was talking about??

X-Naut: T-they're something that some guy wants!! But I don't know who that guy is!! Grodus made a deal with him a while ago!!

DMS: And what's this map he wants so badly??

X-Naut: They tell where the relics are!! THAT'S ALL I KNOW, OK?! I'M JUST A MINION!!

DMS: Fine. Get your pussy-ass out of my sight before I rip it apart.

DMS throws the X-Naut away, and it runs off, crying.

ZX: We messed up, didn't we??

DMS: Clearly. But we at least have half of the map...

On the map, there's two locations high-lighted.

Luna: Grodus will probably be looking for the other piece of the map soon...

DMS: But first off, let's get Twilight out of there.

DMS heads into the archive room and frees Twilight.

Chapter 3 - The First Relic
Twilight: I heard everything. This guy sounds dangerous, especially by what the X-Naut guy said.

Luna: We're just glad you're ok. So, what now?

DMS: I'm pretty sure we need to find these relics before Grodus does. We can probably deal with whatever he throws at us later.

ZX: Agreed. Let's take a look at the map.

DMS lays the half of the map on the table. The map appears to be a crude rendering of the Fan-Ball world and surrounding areas. There are two locations on the map that have been highlighted. One of them is situated to the far west, way past opening street would be, on another continent. There is a strange marking line between the two, as if some kind of barrier. There is a drawing of a castle with a large red X over it. The other place is on the far east of the map. In what appears to be the snowfield/moutain area, there is a large down-arrow drawn going into the east side of the mountain.

ZX: So which one should we go for? I mean, at least we know where the first one is, but the second one... Yeah, that's bizarre. What does that down arrow mean??

DMS: Maybe it means it's under the mountain... An underground... thing...

ZX: Could be true... Let's go with the one to the west, to be safe.

Luna: Right.

Twilight: W-wait, what about me??

LD: You should be safe now. Those guys shouldn't come back.

Twilight: So I'm supposed to just sit here??

ZX and the others frown.

Luna: Well, Twilight, I'd greatly appreciate it if you took care of Solaria while we're gone...

Twilight: *Sigh* Ok...

Luna: Thank you!

The gang leaves.

Meanwhile...

Grodus appears inside of a large temple...

Grodus: There. We have the map, and we're ready to get the relics!!

Grodus looks at the map, and realizes it's been torn in half.

Grodus: WHAT?! WHAT IMPUDENCE DID THIS?!? WHERE'S THAT X-NAUT AT!!

Grodus looks around, but realizes the X-Naut is not with him.

Grodus: I left him behind... Oh. GREAT!! NOW THEY KNOW WHAT WE'RE AFTER!! I BET THEY HAVE THE OTHER HALF OF THE MAP, TOO!! ARRGH!! CAN'T ANY EVIL PLAN JUST GO SMOOTHLY!? I guess I'll have to take care of that, hmm?

Grodus pulls out a sort of communicator device. A voice can be heard on the other end.

X-Naut: Roger. What is it, sir?

Grodus: I need you get ''him. ''Get him on the device.

X-Naut: Yes, sir Grodus.

Other End: mumble...mumble.....

???: Ahem. Yes?

Grodus: I need you to find them. Kill them for all I care, just get the map.

???: Of course, sir. Where shall I find them?

Grodus: All I know is that they have the western map. They probably went to the western site. Can you go interdimensional in that thing?

???: Why yes, my ship can withstand the rougest of travel. Out.

Grodus: Grodus out.

Grodus: Those bufoons will never know what hit 'em. I've got my secret weapon right on thier tails! GACK ACK ACK cough... cough... AHEM. ACKACKACK!!!!

Meanwhile....again....

The gang have arrived at the western coast. It is not yet apparent how they will arrive at their destination.

ZX: Well, were heading across seas, right? I don't see a ship!

DMS: Hmm...

LD: Hey maybe we can find someone who does. There's a seaboard town not far from here. There's bound to be sailors there!

Luna: What makes you think they'll lend us thier ship?

LD: Well, we could offer them money and stuff, but we have DMS just in case.

DMS: Heh.

They advance to Town, where they are in search of a ship and a captain. The town has a shabby inn, as well as several small stores, as well as a bar, where music can be heard.

LD: I bet we'll find sailors in there. I mean, who else to be in a bar than a dirty old sailor?

ZX: True. Lets go.

They go in the bar. There are several men (or stickmen, moreover) enjoying a drink and having a good time. A particularly drunken man approaches Luna.

Man: Got a nice body there, young lady. How'd you like to *hiccup* go with a guy like me?

Luna: Hey, back off, swine! Can't you see the wedding ring?!

Luna proceeds to backhand the drunk across the face. Other sailors just laugh.

ZX: I don't see any people of at least moderate competence in this building. What now?

DMS: What about this guy here in the corner?

There was a man, rather covered by the darker side of the room. He wore a hat that covers his head, and sat alone, sipping a glass. ZoshiX approaches him.

ZX: Hey, do you happen to have a ship we could borrow?

Sailor: Aye, I have a ship, but I haven't sailed the old blue in ages. I wouldn't just lend it to anyone, eh?

DMS: What kind of anyone are we talking about here?

Sailor: I've got reasons. I could tell you, but it's a rather long tale. You up for it?

ZX: I think this is the only way we'll get to him.

DMS: Okay, tell us your story.

Sailor: It was a very long time ago. I was a younger lad, and I sailed the ocean every opporunity I had. I was crew of the greatest ship in the world, the Aylwin. Aye, she be a beautiful ship. She sailed the seas like no other. Anyway, it was one time we went on a particular journey. We were to venture where no man had gone before. Our first while was a great trip, the wind was with us as we sailed. Then we started to go off the maps. We were on new seas! Everything seemed perfect, but then strange things started to happen... It seemed as if, as if we weren't supposed to be here. The seas grew angry, the storms grew to somethin' we'd never layed eyes on before. It wasn't long before she sank. Alas, one other an' I be the only ones to survive. I was coughin' up the sea when I passed out on shore. Ever since I've been reluctant to set sails again.

ZX: Tough tale. But I think we have something you'll take interest to.

Sailor: What's that, lad?

ZX: We have a treasure map.

Sailor: Aye, a treasure map! What kinda treasure that ye be lookin' fer, lad??

But, before ZX can answer, they hear some angry drunken shouts behind them. The same man that got back-handed by Luna suddenly storms forward. 2 angry looking guys stand behind him.

Man: HEY!! That's the slut *hiccup* that backhanded me!!

Luna: ...Did you just call me a slut...?

Man: Yeah!! And what *hiccup* of it, ya filthy whore?! Why ya out here with these 3 men?! Ya sleepin' with all of em or somethin'?!

DMS starts to walk forward to shut the man up, but Luna stops him.

Luna: Leave these drunken buffoons to me...

She pulls out "Old Faithful"- The XM-6000 Machine Gun. The men immediately drop their jaws.

Man: That be a... hehe... big gun ya got there, lass... uhhh hehehe... I-I was jokin' around there, y'know, had a few beers, a little tipsy... heheheh...

Luna wasn't pleased. She aimed the weapon at the drunk and fired a rocket. When the smoke cleared, the drunk was shattered apart. (Like a player character from Stick Ranger) The other two men, instead of running away like they should, suddenly charge forward!!!

Luna: Oh, come on. I'll take the both of you on!!

DMS: Err, Luna, think you might need...

Luna: Hell no!! These stupid drunks need to be taught a lesson.

DMS: Well, if you say so...

BATTLE: 2 Belligerents!! (Theme)

Luna points and unloads with the mini-gun!!

Belligerent 1 took 4950 damage!!

Belligerent 1 was shattered!!

Belligerent 2 ran towards Luna and tried to bash her head with a bottle!! ...But, when he took a swing, Luna dodged it, and the Belligerent fell down!!

Belligerent 2 took 92 damage!!

Luna fires a rocket!!

Belligerent 2 took 2948 damage!!

Belligerent 2 was shattered!!

YOU WIN!!

The rest of the men proceed to flee the bar. Only the gang and the sailor are left.

Sailor: Aye, she be a fiesty one. Well. So.... about the treasure?

ZX: Well... you see...

And so he explains as much as he can to the sailor without giving up too much info.

Sailor: So, you're sayin' you'll let me keep any treasure I find as long as you be gettin' this relic you're lookin' for? Sounds good to me! We shove off tomorrow's dawn. You'll have to be gettin' whatever food y'may need. But don't worry, the prices be cheap in this old shabby.

LD: Good. 'cause I'm getting hungry for some seafood. Anyone?

ZX: Alright. Is the bartender still here?

Bartender: Yeah, just a little startled. You might have to pay a little for my loss of customers.

DMS: Whatever, lets have 5 of your finest!

The gang and thier new friend have a good time and hang out at the bar. Meanwhile, outside, a couple of spies have been peeking in.

X-Naut 1: Hello? come in! come in!

???: Did you find them?

X-Naut 1: Yes, they're at the town in the southwest. They're going to set sail for the place at dawn tommorrow.

???: Excellent. Your service is complete.

X-Naut 2: Did you hear that? PROMOTION!!!!

DMS: What the hell?

X-Naut 1: Shut up!! you want us killed?

There is rustling outside. Everyone else is a bit too tipsy to notice.

DMS: What now?

DMS goes outside. It appears that nothing happened.

DMS: Hmm... I guess there's no one here...

X-Naut 1: sigh....

DMS: GOTHCA!!!!

X-Nauts: OH SHI-

That night, there were two less X-Nauts on the planet.

Later on, the gang leaves the bar and heads towards the inn to stay for the night. Meanwhile...

The 3 guys that got their asses stomped finally get revived.

Man: OY!! WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!

Bartender: You got rejected by the princess of the moon, then you got your asses stomped by her.

Man: ARGH!! THAT'D BE DISRESPECTIN' ME!! DO YA KNOW WHO I AM?! DO YA?!?!

The man slams his fists on the counter and looks the bartender in the eye.

Bartender: No... I don't.

Stickbeard: I BE THE GREAT PIRATE, CAP'N STICKBEARD!! AYE!! YOU TWO SCALLIWAGS!! GET YOUR ASSES UP AND GET THE REST OF ME CREW!!

Man: Aye aye, cap'n!!

The men run off.

Stickbeard: ARGHH! WHEN I'M DONE WITH THAT BITCH...

Bartender: Hey, we're closed. Get out.

Stickbeard: SHUT UP, I'M THINKIN'!!

The bartender facepalms.

Stickbeard: THEY WERE TALKIN' ABOUT SOME TREASURE, EH?! THEY AND THAT WASHED UP OLD SAILOR!! I KNOW WHAT I'LL DO!! I'LL GET ME SHIP OUT TOMORROW AND FOLLOW EM!! HAHAHA!!!

Bartender: Uhh, dude, she has a MINI GUN with a ROCKET LAUNCHER on it. That's not the best of ideas.

Stickbeard: I SAID SHUT UP!! OR I'LL MAKE YE WALK THE PLANK!!

Bartender: You're a lame pirate.

And so Stickbeard rants on for the rest of the night. Completely disregarding the fact that the bitch he wants killed is in the inn. RIGHT NEXT DOOR.

Chapter 4 - The Ocean Blue
The next morning...

DMS wakes up, to notice that Luna has already gotten up and dressed.

DMS: You're up early.

Luna: More like you're up late.

DMS: ...Wait, what?

Luna: WE WERE SUPPOSED TO LEAVE AN HOUR AGO!!

DMS: OH RIGHT CRAP I FORGOT

DMS leaps up, materializes his clothes, and runs out of the inn, leaving Luna in the dust.

Luna: *Sigh* WAIT UP!!

So DMS and Luna run off to the port, where they see a small ship. The sailor, LD, and ZX sit on top of it.

Sailor: Aye!! Hurry up, lads!! We ain't got all day before the tides start to kick up!!

As DMS and Luna walk towards the ship, they walk by a large ship. A bunch of sailors on it start whistling and yelling at Luna. She ignores them. Two of the sailors on the ship look at each other.

SailorGuy1: Aye! She be a fine lookin' lass!!

SailorGuy2: Wait, isn't that the wench that the captain be lookin' fer??

SailorGuy1: AYE!! SOMEONE GET THE CAPTAIN!!

Some sailors run off of the ship.

Luna: Wonder what that's all about.

Back at the bar...

Stickbeard continues to rant. He's been doing so all night. The bartender repeatedly bashes his head on the bar. The sailors run inside.

SailorGuy: AYE!! CAP'N!! WE SPOTTED THE WENCH!! THEY BE READY TO SAIL!!

Stickbeard: AYE!! SOMEONE GET ME MY PIRATE HAT, ME HOOK-HAND, AND ME PEG-LEG!!

They all run outside and run towards the ship. The bartender breaths a sigh of relief and passes out on the floor from trauma. Back outside. the gang takes off and starts to sail away. Stickbeard runs off and gets on his ship.

Stickbeard: AYE! LET EM GET SOME DISTANCE, THEN TRAIL EM!!

Sailor: AYE AYE, CAP'N!!

Back on the other ship...

ZX: So, what's your name, old-timer?

Stagert: Aye, I be old-time Cap'n Stagert! And what're your names, lads?

ZX: Well, I'm Zoshin Xerano Jr, that little guy's Jast DeCurro, the tall, dark being's Revelian Zeronius, and the girl's name is Luna.

Stagert: Pleasure to make ye aquaintances! So, what are ya lads lookin' fer these "relics" fer?

ZX: E-err, it's nothing, really.

Stagert: Hmm, ah well. None of me business, anyhow! So, lady, who ya be wed to? Ye said that ye had a weddin' ring when you confronted that drunk.

Luna: Revelian.

As she says this, she gets closer to DMS and leans her head on his shoulder. DMS raises his (lack of) eyebrows.

Stagert: Aye, ya be a lucky lad, Revelian. She's a fine-looking woman!

DMS: She's also a princess.

Stagert: A princess, ye say?? Where do ye rule, lass?

Luna: Well... I was a princess... but that time is over, now...

Stagert: Ah, I see... Oh well. At least yer happy now, right?

Luna: Very much so.

DMS and Luna look into each others' eyes lovingly.

ZX: So anyways...

But suddenly, a cannonball smashes the water nearby!!

DMS: What the...

Stagert stands up and pulls out a telescope.

Stagert: Err, lass, I think ye want to see this...

Luna stands up and takes the telescope away. She takes a look at where Stagert pointed... and facepalmed.

Luna: Are you kidding me?! That drunk's an actual PIRATE?!?

The others stand up and turn around...

A large pirate ship is moving towards them. Stickbeard walks out onto the mast!

(Theme)

Stickbeard: AYE!! BEHOLD, YOU SCALIWAGS!! IT IS I, THE TERRIFYING CAP'N STICKBEARD!!

DMS: You've gotta be joking me.

But before the ship can fire another cannonball, a hole opens up in the air beside the ship!!

DMS: What the hell is going on now?!?

Stickbeard: WHAT'N THE DEVIL ALIVE IS THIS?! FLEE!!!!

DMS: Wait, why do I feel like... I've seen this before?!

He looks up for no particular reason.

DMS: Hey guys! Look up!!

Everyone sees a VERY large ship fly out of the hole. It has what looks like a mask on the front of the ship. Vast, purple wings are on either side of the ship, and it is flying through the air at considerable speed.

DMS: Could it be?

Stickbeard: YIKES! Be a flyin' ship! Make haste! Raise sails at full!! We gotta tailer on us!

Stickbeard's crew frantically runs around, doing various things. They don't do anything.

Stagert: Aye!! What is that?!

ZX: Who could it be, DMS??

DMS: Well, to my belief that's the Halberd. And if thats the Halberd, then, well, I'd suspect a certain knight must be after us...

LD: What the heck is he doing out here??

DMS: He's probably with Grodus. We can't let him get the other part of the map.

ZX: So should we stay on the ship or go up there?

Luna: I say we take initiative. The sooner we get this over with the sooner we can get searching for the relic.

LD: Sounds good to me! But how the helc do we get up there?

DMS: LIKE THIS.

DMS flies into the water and picks up the tiny boat. He flies up towards the Halberd!!

On the Halberd...

Axe Knight: SIR!! Tiny boat flying towards us!!

Meta Knight turns around.

Meta Knight: Activate the defense systems! Blow it out of the sky!!

As DMS flies up towards the ship, guns begin to fire at him.

LD: Shmit!! Careful, DMS!! They're firing at us!!

DMS weaves through the bullets and soon lands on the Halberd. ZX, LD, and Luna get off.

DMS: Hey Stagert! Keep up with this ship! When we're done here, we'll be back!!

Stagert: But what do you mean?! Ya brought me here with you!

DMS drops Stagert's boat down and it slams into the water.

Stagert: ARRGH. YA BETTER BE GLAD THERE'S TREASURE INVOLVED IN THIS!!

Stagert then rows the boat to keep up with the Halberd.

Axe Knight: Sir, the enemies are on the ship!!

Meta Knight: Keep the troops back. I'll deal with them.

Meta Knight warps away.

On the Halberd...

DMS: What, first this place is bustling with activity, and now it's abandoned??

Suddenly, Meta Knight appears in front of them!!

DMS: Hey!! I knew it!! It's Meta Knight!!

Meta Knight: Wait a second... Dark Matter?!? So, you're after the relics to get their powers, aren't you?!

DMS: What??

MK: Don't lie to me! You're after the relics so you can cover the world with darkness!! I know about this! Grodus told me!!

DMS: Wait... GRODUS told you?!

ZX: You're being played, Meta Knight!!

MK: ENOUGH OF THIS!!

Boss Battle: Meta Knight! (Theme)

ZX slices with his sword!!

1029 damage to Meta Knight!

LD attacks with REGULUS!!

1304 damage to Meta Knight!

DMS charges forward!

2039 damage to Meta Knight!

Luna points and fires the mini-gun!!

Meta Knight deflected the bullets with his sword!! No effect!!

Luna: Holy crap!!

Meta Knight charges forward and slashes!!

5049 damage to Luna!!

Luna: Ack!! Where are your manners?! You don't hit a lady!!

Luna attacks with Dark Magic!!

4973 damage to Meta Knight!!

ZX used PSI Freeze!

2039 damage to Meta Knight!!

LD fires an aura bolt!!

2940 damage to Meta Knight!

Meta Knight falls back!

YOU WIN!!

MK: Urk!! That magic attack!! You've been corrupted by Dark Matter, as well?!

Luna: WILL YOU SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO US FOR A SECOND?!

ZX: Seriously...

LD: You're being played by Grodus. DMS isn't evil anymore.

LD gets a bunch of looks.

LD: Well he's not as evil as he was, anyways!!

ZX: Heck, he's even saved our planet before!!

MK: I can't believe that!! He probably has you all under mind control, like 02 would do to people!! Hey wait a second... Is that a wedding ring...??

Luna raises her hand.

Luna: Yes, I'm happily married. With Revelian.

With that, she wraps her arm around DMS' shoulder. HOVER HAND

Luna: With a child.

MK: W-What?! That's not possible!! Dark Matters can't feel emotion!

ZX: You're NOT LISTENING TO US!! DMS has changed!! He's gotten a lot better then he used to be!! Grodus is playing you like a sucker!!

MK: I won't believe it. I've seen too much to take the word of a few travelers. Now, you can give me the map, or not. No tricks, you defeated me.

ZX: Wow, really? Honorable guy, huh?

DMS: He's always like that, but he's also really stubborn.

LD: Won't he follow us to the-

DMS: Hey Ludicrine! Why don' t you go tell Stagert that we're ready to leave?

LD: Oh! Okay...

ZX: Now, this is your last chance. DMS is not a normal dark matter. He has changed and redeemed himself over multiple occasions. Grodus may be cold hearted, but he's a smart guy. He knew EXACTLY what was going to happen when you saw DMS. Don't let it be this way...

MK: I don't see it... I can't...

Luna: OH DAMNIT JUST COME WITH US!!!

Luna grabs Meta Knight and the gang go back to Stagert's ship. DMS lowers it back into the sea. Some of the guards in MK's ship notice he's gone and pilot the ship away.

MK: What do you think you're doing!? You can't just... MY SHIP?! NOOOOO...

DMS: Looks like you're stuck with us now!

MK: Ugh...

META KNIGHT (reluctantly) JOINED YOUR PARTY!!

LD: Now, how far to go here...

Stagert: By this time we should be approachin' that "line" o' yers on the map. Somethin' interstins bound to happen.

ZX: I hope not... We don't need another interruption. Grodus probably has his hands on a relic by now.

Luna: Let's just hope for the best...

DMS: So... why didn't we take the Halberd...?

LD: Oh, wait...

ZX: DAMNIT BRAIN!!!! FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU

Chapter 5 - Interdimensional
They had been sailing for several hours. The sea seemed as endless as usual. ZX and LD were below deck, everyone else stood on the deck of the ship. Stickbeard's ship has vanished by this point.

ZX: ...Ludicrine...

LD: Yes?

ZX: Have you ever been in a relationship? Like real love?

LD: *Demonic stare*

ZX: Oh, right. Sorry. I just... You know what I've been through lately and, well, it doesn't seem like anything is going to happen. I just wish there were somebody else who knew how I felt. To love somebody that you know that you'll never be with. It's the worst feeling in the world... I've pretty much given up.

LD: I can't think of any one-way relationships off the top of my head, but... Yeah, I can sorta understand...

ZX: I mean... I don't want to split Luna and DMS up, but... It's just so hard to get by nowadays... All I can think about is her...

LD: Well, I'm on the outside looking in on this one... But all I can do is say this. You're gonna have to get over her. I mean, there's not a snowball chance in helc that she's gonna leave DMS to be with you. I mean, nothing against you, it's just that... Those two are bonded. Like, welded together. There's no way you can split them up. They love each other that much...

ZX: ...

LD: All I can say is, there's a lotta fish in the sea, and you're gonna have to get over that Luna's already been caught. I mean, I'm sure you can find romance with someone else someday...

ZX: It'll never be the same, though...

LD: Well, you'll have to freaking improvise!! Because there's no way you're gonna be with Luna! I mean, I know I'm sounding harsh, but come on! You've been like this with her for MONTHS! And she's already married!! I mean...

ZX: Just... enough... I understand...

CCRRAACCK!!! BOOOOOM! RUMBLERUMBLE

Stagert: THERE BE A STORM A-BREWIN'!!

LD: I think we should get on deck, come on...

ZX: Alright, I need to get my mind off of it anyway.

~meanwhile, on deck~

MK: The sky is very dark. I believe we have reached the interdimensional gateway.

DMS: The what?

MK: Grodus told me about it. Honestly I shouldn't even tell you, but I am on this ship, aren't I? It's the barrier between dimensions. Past it is like an entirely different world. I can't quite remember which one though...

Stagert: Whatever it may be, I yet to know if we may be seein' it! Me ship can't handle this kind of stormin'!

Luna: There has to be a way...

BOOOOMMM!!!! rumble...rumble...

ZX: Geez, this thunder's deafening!!

The waves start getting bigger and bigger and the rain pounds the ship harder. The gang soon that they're sinking. Fast.

Luna: Oh geez!! We're sinking!!

DMS: Alright, ALRIGHT, I'll deal with this!

DMS flies underwater and picks the boat up again.

ZX: Atta boy, DMS!!

DMS: NEVER SAY THAT AGAIN.

Stagert: AYE, SOMETHIN' BE HAPPENIN'!!

Suddenly, the sky begins to flash. Not just lightning but the WHOLE FREAKING SKY. Everything seems to shake vioently. The very fabric of existance seems to warp and shift. The world around them turns to insanity. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSHSHSHSHHSHHSHHHHH.

Then all was calm...

ZX: What....the hell....JUST FREAKING HAPPENED?!??!

MK: THAT was the gateway. We are now in another world.

DMS: Now, just to figure out wherever the hell THAT is.

LD: It seems as though the ship is still intact. Heck, there's no further damage!

Stagert: Good, for a second there I though we all be toast!! We be sailin' on uncharted territory.

ZX: Why...why does it feel like?

Luna: Like what?

ZX: Like I've been here before. It's something in the air... it smells like... mother of god...

LD: What?

ZX: KUMKWATS.

Luna: Umm... thats nice, but... what significance do Kumkwats hold?

DMS: If I think he's talking about what he's talking about, this is ZX's home. We have set sail to the kingdoms of Yoshi land. Its a big deal for him. He hasn't been here in over 15 years.

Luna: Oh, wow! Must be exciting.

Stagert: Aye! Land Ho!!

ZX: Here we go... home.

Chapter 6 - Welcome Home
The kingdom... is abandoned. Cities still lie in ruin from the tremendous batte many years ago.

ZX: My God... This place wasn't able to recover from... the attack...

MK: What happened to this place? It looks like it was invaded...

ZX: It was... long ago...

MK: By who??

ZX: ...It's not important, now...

DMS silently gazes down at the floor. Luna quietly wraps her arms around him, knowing what he's done as well.

DMS: Dark Matters invaded it. And they were led by me.

MK and Stagert both turn to him.

MK: What?!

DMS: But that was long ago... While I was still a drone of my master...

MK stares at him, clearly suspicious.

ZX: Meta Knight, it's ok... It's like I said, DMS has redeemed himself plenty of times over...

Luna: That's right... He actively regrets what he has done. And he's moved on from that.

MK doesn't seem satisfied.

Stagert: Aye, the lad may have done somethin' wrong, but at least he be tryin' to make amends for it!

LD: Well, we need to go on, anyways! Let's go.

The gang agrees and they all start to move out.

DMS: ...Where are we going??

LD: Dunno... OH LOOK A SIGN.

A signpost sticks out of the ground. Written on it is-

"Welcome to Kumkwat Ruins! Beware of Floatstingers."

LD: What's a Floatstinger?

Whomp.

DMS: No idea.

Whomp.

ZX: Ermm... Do any of you hear that noise??

Suddenly, Luna gets grabbed by something!!

Luna: What the?! Help!!

The gang looks up...

A giant moth-like creature floats above them. It was the source of the noise ZX heard. Whomp. It has a giant stinger at the end of its abdomen!!

DMS: Luna!!

The monster flies away at high speeds, carrying Luna with it.

ZX: Damnit!! We've gotta go after her!!

LD: Was that a Floatstinger??

DMS: WELL I DO FUCKING WONDER. IT FLOATS, AND IT HAS A STINGER.

LD: ...Meanie beanie.

DMS: Urgh...

ZX: Yeesh, does being away from Luna for just seconds make you angry??

DMS: No, but watching my wife get kidnapped by a gigantic moth sorta does.

ZX: Ok ok ok!! Let's chase after it!!

They all run where the Floatstinger was flying.

In a massive, abandoned palace...

The Floatstinger throws Luna down on top of a balcony. A large egg-like thing sits next to her. The Floatstinger then shoots out long, sticky web, and it forces Luna to the wall and covers her up, preventing movement.

Luna: Gagh!! What's happening?!

The Floatstinger flies off. Luna breathes a sigh of relief...

Then she hears something rattle next to her. She turns her head and sees the egg start to crack. It breaks open, and a large bagworm-like creature wriggles free. It looks at her, and then slowly starts to crawl towards her.

Luna: N-No!! Stay away from me!!

It ignores her.

The gang continues to run to where Floatstinger flew off. They soon spot something sitting on the ground.

DMS: It's the XM-6000!! Luna must have dropped it...

DMS picks up the weapon and puts it in his inventory.

Stagert: Aye, where did ye get that weapon, lad? That be some mighty-fine firepower!!

DMS: Long story.

Stagert: I got time!

DMS: Well we don't!! We've gotta get that monster! Who knows that it'll do to Luna?? Eat her? Leave her to be eaten by its babies?? I mean, the possibilites are horrifying!!

ZX: I agree, we've gotta hurry!!

They keep moving. They soon come upon a large palace... They see the large amounts of web on the castle.

ZX: Think this is where the monster took her??

DMS: Based by all of the web, I assume so.

LD: What kind of moth leaves WEB behind??

ZX: Who knows... Wait a second....

ZX takes a hard look at the palace...

ZX: This... This is my castle...

DMS: What??

ZX: This is my castle...!!

LD: Wait, this is the castle for the Kumkwat Kingdom?!

ZX: Yes!! This is my castle!!

DMS: Whatever, let's go!!

The gang all runs towards the castle! DMS kicks open the front door. Dozens of bagworm-like creatures wander around.

ZX: Ugh, this place is filled with bugs.

DMS: Probably larval forms of the Floatstinger.

ZX: Yeah, let's ignore them.

They head into the courtyard. Inside, there's a huge amount of sand.

DMS: Sand??

They all walk inside. Suddenly, something rustles beneath the sand!!

Stagert: AYEE!! FLEE!!

Stagert turns and runs back inside.

DMS: Yeah, you enjoy your bugs, you fucking pussy!!

Out of the sand comes a giant version of the larvae!

DMS: What the?? It must be a matured version... Watch out, it's coming at us!!

ZX: Its extermination time!!

LD slaps ZX upside the head for the bad one-liner.

Chapter 7 - Creepy Crawlies
Boss Battle: Matured Twinfeeler!! (Theme)

The Twinfeeler hisses at the gang!!

ZX slices with his sword!

1201 damage to Twinfeeler!!

The Twinfeeler charges for a counter attack!!

3042 damage to ZX!!

ZX: This thing counter-attacks?! Yeesh!!

LD fires an aura bolt!

940 damage to Twinfeeler!

DMS charges forward!!

2039 damage to Twinfeeler!

Meta Knight slices with his sword!!

2010 damage to Twinfeeler!

Twinfeeler launches a poisonous glob!!

3940 damage to ZX!!

ZX got poisoned!!

ZX: Oh crap...!!

ZX used PSI Fire!!

3049 damage to Twinfeeler!!

ZX takes 1000 damage from poisoning!!

ZX: THAT'S A LOT OF POISON DAMAGE.

LD used PSI Healing!

ZX was cured of his poison!

DMS launches a sonic sword!!

2301 damage to Twinfeeler!

Twinfeeler charges for a counter attack!!

DMS takes 3020 damage!

Meta Knight charges up a super attack!

Twinfeeler smashes into ZX!!

ZX takes 4950 damage!!

ZX used PSI Fire!!

3940 damage to Twinfeeler!!

LD used PSI Lifeup!!

The gang recovers 4000 LP!!

DMS charges forward!!

Twinfeeler takes 2039 damage!!

Meta Knight attacks with the Mach Tornado!!!

6054 damage to Twinfeeler!!

Twinfeeler curled up into a ball and died!!

YOU WIN!!

DMS: Stupid bug...

ZX: Let's keep moving.

The gang heads up to the higher floors of the palace... DMS hears something.

Luna: Ack!! Quit it!!!

DMS: LUNA!!

DMS kicks open the door to the balcony.

On the balcony, Luna, who is free, laughs as the baby Twinfeeler tickles her face with its antennae. It turns to DMS and the others and hisses.

DMS: Woah, Luna!! Are you alright??

Luna: Revelian?! Oh, yes, I'm alright!! This baby must think I'm its mother or something!

ZX: Huh.

The Twinfeeler hisses at DMS as he walks forward.

Luna: I don't think it trusts you...

She strokes the Twinfeeler's back, soon scratching it. It rolls in her lap and kicks its tiny feet in the air. She places the now-tranced Twinfeeler onto the ground and runs to DMS, hugging him.

DMS: Alright, we've got her!! Let's get out of-

Whomp.

ZX: Here it comes...

Whomp.

The Floatstinger floats up towards the balcony. It spots its prey getting away and hisses.

ZX: Here it comes! Let's take this freak down!

DMS gives Luna her XM-6000 Machine gun.

Luna: Let's do this!!

Boss Battle: Floatstinger!! (Theme)

The Floatstinger floats downward towards the gang! The Floatstinger cannot be attacked with Melee.

ZX used PSI Fire!

Floatstinger takes 2093 damage!

LD used PSI Thunder!!

Floatstinger takes 3495 damage!!

DMS launches a sonic sword!

Floatstinger takes 1029 damage!

Luna points her mini-gun at the Floatstinger and unloads!!

4059 damage to Floatstinger!!

Meta Knight does nothing.

Floatstinger unleashes poisonous dust onto the party!!!

ZX was poisoned!

LD was poisoned!

DMS can't get poisoned!

Luna can't get poisoned!

Meta Knight was poisoned!

ZX used PSI Freeze!!

Floatstinger takes 3049 damage!

ZX takes 1000 Poison damage!

LD used PSI Healing!

ZX was cured of poison!

LD was cured of poison!

No effect on DMS!

No effect on Luna!

Meta Knight was cured of poison!

DMS launches a sonic sword!

Floatstinger takes 1302 damage!

Luna points her mini-gun at the Floatstinger and unloads!!

Floatstinger takes 4950 damage!!

Floatstinger jabs ZX with its stinger!!

ZX takes 8970 damage!!!

ZX used PSI Freeze!

Floatstinger takes 3502 damage!

LD used PSI Lifeup!

The gang recovers 5000 HP!!

DMS launches a sonic sword!

1293 damage to Floatstinger!!

Luna fires a rocket!!

8905 damage to Floatstinger!!

Special Death!! Floatstinger was gibbed!!!

YOU WIN!!

Luna: Take that, you nasty moth!!

ZX: Alright, we did it! Let's look around a bit more. The relic has to be here!!

So they wander around until they reach the throne room... On the throne is a large, golden cross.

ZX: Is this the relic?

DMS: Must be...

ZX picks up the relic.

Relic obtained!! 3 remain...

ZX: We did it!! Let's get out of here, get Stagert, and go home. We need to take a break.

The gang runs off, grabs Stagert, and head towards the boat.

Luna: W-Wait!! The baby Twinfeeler, it's-

DMS: We can't worry about that! Let's just go!!

Luna: No!! I'm not leaving it here by itself! It doesn't have anything to feed it anymore!!

Luna runs off.

DMS: Damnit, Luna!!

DMS runs after her.

ZX: Ugh, let's just wait here for them.

At the palace, Luna grabs the baby Twinfeeler, and they all return to the ship.

Stagert: Are ya lads ready?? HEAVE HO!!!

The ship moves off and heads towards the dimensional rift!! They go through.

ZX: It's nighttime...

Stagert: Well, I guess you lads oughta go to bed. We got quarters down below.

LD: Yeah, I'm tired. What a battle.

They all go to bed.

In DMS and Luna's bedroom...

DMS silently sits on the bed. Luna walks inside and sits down next to him.

Luna: Well, we have one of the relics.

DMS: Yeah...

Luna: Revelian... You don't think anything will happen to us... Do you...??

DMS: What do you mean??

Luna: I mean... You've had two near-death experiences... One during the whole Cut incident, and another one when my bitch sister attacked you with the elements... I've even had one, too, when I was in that coma... I just... don't want anything to happen to us... If I lost you, I don't know what I might do... I mean, you're my life... You're the one thing that gets me up every day. Before I had met you, my life was nothing... I didn't have the will to live... Revelian, when I say that you saved me, it isn't an overstatement...

ZX, who was walking by, stops when he hears this. He looks inside of their room through a peep-hole.

Luna: Revelian, if you hadn't of shown up, I would have died. Inevitably. Celestia would have gotten me killed somehow... She didn't need me to raise the moon... She did that fine by herself while I was gone... I was nothing more then... a sex slave to her... If she had gotten bored with me, she would have had me removed... Revelian, you saved me. I owe my entire life to you...

DMS: You don't owe me a thing. Me living with you now is all I need. You love me, and I love you. Right?

Luna: Exactly. I'll always love you, Revelian... No matter what...

The two get into a deep kiss and fall onto the bed.

ZX, who's been watching them, sighs and clenches his fist in anger and jealousy. LD, who's also going to bed, walks by.

LD: What're you doing, ZX??

LD peers in the peep hole.

LD: DUDE!! WHY ARE YOU STALKING THEM?!

ZX runs off down the hallway and into his bedroom. He slumps on the bed, depressed.

DMS, who's busy licking Luna, raises his head up.

DMS: What was that??

Luna gives an irritated grunt and pulls DMS back down between her legs, making him yelp in surprise.

ZX: Am I really destined to be alone...? I swear... This life sucks...

He passes out.

Chapter 8 - Sick Irony
ZX wakes up when he hears a bell.

Stagert: LAND HO!!!!

ZX gets to his feet and walks out of his room. Stagert's running down the hallway, waking everyone up.

In DMS' room...

He and Luna are cuddled next to each other, passed out. Stagert kicks the door open, making Luna wake up, scream, and cover herself.

Stagert: LAND HO- OH SORRY LASS!! I DIDN'T SEE NOTHIN'!!

He turns and runs out of the room. He stops in the middle of the hallway, near ZX.

Stagert: DAMN she be a fine lass!!

ZX: Tell me about it... So, we're near SR World again??

Stagert: Yep!! Made it through without a hitch!!

ZX: Good!

Back in DMS' room...

Luna angrily grunts and puts on her clothes. DMS soon falls out of the bed, as well.

DMS: WHAT WAIT WHAT WHERE AM I WHAT ARE YOU.

Luna: We're home. And we were VERY rudely awakened.

DMS: Aww you don't mean they-

Luna: Yes. Don't bring it up.

DMS gets up as well and heads to the deck.

Stagert: LAND HO!!!

ZX: ...mo.

DMS slaps ZX upside the head.

LD: So we're home, right??

DMS: Yup.

ZX: So what's the plan??

DMS: Well, we're gonna chill for a day, get cleaned up, then tomorrow we're gonna head out for the next Relic, which is in the mountain series.

ZX: Got it. Don't think Grodus is gonna try and take the relic, do you??

DMS: I almost guaruntee he will. We'll be ready for him. I'll keep the map with me, and ZX will keep the relic.

ZX: Got it.

DMS: Well, let's go home.

The ship soon lands at the dock, and the gang gets out and leaves. Nearby...

Stickbeard's ship is also docked. After the Halberd showed up, Stickbeard ran the fuck away like a baby. Stickbeard spots the gang heading home.

Stickbeard: AYE!! THERE YA BE YOU SCALIWAGS!!

DMS: NOT NOW, DICKBEARD.

Stickbeard: WHAT?!? I'LL MAKE YE WALK THE PLANK FOR THAT!!

Luna shoots a rocket at him and shuts him up.

Luna: Let's just go.

As DMS and Luna warp home, and Meta Knight checks in to a nearby inn, ZX and LD walk to their homes.

LD: ZX, we've gotta talk. Last night was... uncalled for, to say the least.

ZX: I know, I know... I shouldn't have done that... It's just, this jealousy, it's eating me alive!! I can't stand this!!

LD: Look, why don't you talk to someone else who's dealt with jealousy??

ZX: Who?

LD: Pinkie Pie! She's still in love with DMS, but she's handling it better then you are. If you two talk, maybe you can help each other out. Heck, maybe she can give you tips on how to deal with your jealousy.

ZX: Oh, ok then... I'll do that!

ZX flies off towards Pinkie Pie's house...

He soon arrives. She lives in the Grassland series, near the lake. She sits inside, quietly drinking something. ZX knocks on the door. She bounces up happily and answers it.

Pinkie: Oh, hi Zoshi!! Whatcha doin'??

ZX: Hi, Pinkie! I just came by to chat!

Pinkie: Well geez, don't stand out there like a stick in the mud!! Come on in!!

She bounces away, happily. ZX sorta smiles at her hyper, cheery attitude. He walks inside and shuts the door behind him. He walks over and sits down in a chair.

Pinkie: So! Do you want something to drink?

ZX: Sure, what do you have?

Pinkie: Well, I've got juice, milk, soda... beer... I-I mean, if you don't want to drink beer, you don't have to, hahaha....

ZX: Pinkie, relax! It's ok.

Pinkie: S-sorry... So what do you want?

ZX: Hm... I'll take a beer, I guess.

Pinkie: Ok!

She bounces off. ZX sighs and rests his head on his hand. She soon walks in, carrying two beers. She hands him one.

Pinkie: So, what did you come to talk about?

ZX: Well, Pinkie, I wanted to talk about.... Well, how are you dealing with your jealousy??

Pinkie: What do you mean...??

ZX: I need to know! I can't get over Luna... How do YOU manage it??

Pinkie: Well, I keep in mind that both Revelian and Luna are my friends, and I don't want to do anything to hurt them! I keep that in mind, and it gets me by just fine.

ZX: But, I've tried that, and it doesn't work for me!! I still can't stop thinking about her... It's so hard to get by nowadays...

Pinkie: I know it's hard, ZX, but you've got to manage! Do it for your friends!!

ZX: I KNOW I have to do it for my friends!! It's getting harder and harder, I mean, I'm going INSANE here!!!

ZX takes a sip of his beer.

Pinkie: You're acting selfish!!

ZX: What?!

Pinkie: Look at you!! You're bogging yourself down in the past!! I know jealousy is hard to deal with, Zoshi, but it doesn't matter!! You've gotta accept the fact that Luna's probably never going to love you! I mean, she's your friend, but that's as most as it's gonna get!!

ZX: I DON'T WANT THAT!! I can't stand not having her!!

Pinkie: Here you go again!! You're so selfish!! You're throwing a fit because you can't get what you want!! You're acting like a child!!

ZX: AND WHAT DO YOU ACT LIKE?!? YOU'RE A CHILD IN A WOMAN'S BODY!! YOU'RE BOUNCY, GOOFY, AND IRRITATING!!

Pinkie: W-What...?!! You're a jerk!! Just because I'm someone who tries to socialize and have fun with people doesn't make me a child!! It makes me a person who tries to socialize and have fun with people!! Here you are whining just like a child does when he doesn't get a toy he wants!! Don't call me something without looking in the mirror yourself, you asshole!!!

Tears start to fall down her eyes as she says this. ZX lowers his head, ashamed...

ZX: I'm... I'm sorry, Pinkie. I know I'm being a selfish jerk... It's just... so hard to get over her...

Pinkie: I shouldn't have snapped either...

ZX: It's ok, I deserved it... Look, let's just enjoy ourselves, ok? I've gotta go somewhere tomorrow, and this is the last day I get off. So let's have fun, ok?

Pinkie brightens up.

Pinkie: Ok!

The two laugh and start to chat.

A few hours later...

They've gotten pretty tipsy by this point.

ZX: Hahaha...!! That's... That's pretty funny, Pinkie... So what did he do after that...?

Pinkie: Well, after he *hic* turned into a massive dragon and started to rampage... *Hic* I... I can't remember. All I remember is *hic* they were falling from the sky and they got saved by Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash... Rarity swears she's not in love with him, but... *Hic* I don't believe it. Hehehe.

ZX: ...Here we are, *hic* chatting away, about half drunk...

Pinkie: Yep... y'know what's ironic?

ZX: Wut...

Pinkie: I'm in love... with the man... that stole the woman you love away...

ZX: And I'm in love... with the woman... that stole the man you love away...

Pinkie: Ain't that a bout of fuckin' irony...

ZX: Yup...

The two sit there and look at each other for a second.

ZX: Well... It's gettin' late... *Hic* I've gotta go...

Pinkie doesn't answer him. ZX stands up.

ZX: See ya...

Pinkie grabs a hold of him and gets into a deep kiss with him. ZX doesn't say a word as she drags him upstairs to the bedroom. She gets into another deep kiss with him as she pushes him onto her bed and slams the door behind her.

Chapter 9 - Ironic Start To An Ironic Relationship
ZX lies passed out on the bed with Pinkie cuddled up next to him. Pretty soon, the sun's peeking rays start to hit in in the face. Finally, he wakes up, blinded.

ZX: Urgh... Where am I...?? What happened last night?

ZX then turns to Pinkie Pie.

ZX: OH MY F/CKING GOD!!

ZX leaps out of the bed, making Pinkie Pie jolt up.

Pinkie: AAHH!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?!?

ZX: I DON'T KNOW!!! DID WHAT I THINK HAPPENED HAPPEN?!?

Pinkie pulls the cover up and looks underneath. A look of horror crosses her face.

Pinkie: AAAHHH!!!

ZX: YOU'VE GOTTA BE F/CKING KIDDING ME!!!!

ZX turns and runs out of the door. He doesn't stop running until he makes it to LD's house.

LD's sitting on a couch in his room, watching TV. He hasn't seen ZX all night, and he wasn't at his castle, so he wondered if something might have happened to him.

He hears a pounding on the door.

LD answers it to see a very, very shocked-looking ZX.

LD: Hey, ZX!! You look like a ghost, man. What happened to you??

ZX: Well, I spent the night at Pinkie's house. We talked for a bit... Drank a little...

LD: ...What do you mean...?

ZX: WE HAD SEX.

LD: WHAT?!? ZX!! WHEN I TOLD YOU TO TALK TO HER, I DIDN'T MEAN GO OUT AND JUMP IN THE BED WITH HER!!!

ZX: I know I know!! We got drunk, said some things, and the next thing I freaking know, I wake up and she's cuddled up next to me!!!

LD: Jesus, ZX!! You work fast.

ZX: Wait what?!?

LD: I mean... I know this is sudden, but... Is this really a bad thing??

ZX: WHAT?!? OF COURSE THIS...

ZX stops and thinks about it.

LD: I mean... She's your friend, isn't she? Think about it...

ZX: You're not saying... I should actually try and get with her... are you??

LD: Well, is it a bad thing to?

ZX: Well... No, she's my friend but... I don't LOVE her or anything...

LD: ZX, you had sex with her.

ZX: I was drunk!! Getting drunk can cause all sorts of shit to happen that you don't want to happen!

LD: ZX, you're practically being shoved with an opportunity to get with someone who, 1- Isn't half bad looking, 2- She's a good friend of yours, and 3- Will REALLY help with you getting over Luna, and here you are pushing it away??!

ZX: But I don't LOVE her...!!

LD: Who are you trying to convince, ZX? Me, or yourself? I mean, you two share a pretty good bond. You've both been hit with strokes of extreme jealousy, ironically enough to two different people who are with each other. You've got quite a bit more in common then you're willing to admit.

ZX: ...

LD: And hey, it gets rid of your forever-alonely ness, doesn't it??

ZX: Well... It sort of does...

LD: ZX, I'm not saying you HAVE to do this, but really consider it. It'll help you both out quite a bit.

ZX: ...I'll do that... I'll really consider this.

LD: Alright then, let's go get DMS and Luna. We're gonna go say bye to Stagert and thank him for his help before heading out to the Mountain series to find the next Relic.

ZX: Right, I've got that one hidden somewhere. Before I went to Pinkie's house, I put the relic inside of a secret chamber in my castle.

LD: Good. Let's go get DMS and Luna.

They both walk off towards DMS' castle. LD walks towards the front gate. He hears laughing inside.

Luna: You'd better be glad you can change your shape, or you'd flat out crush me if you tried this normally!!

DMS: I wouldn't try anything that would hurt you, and you know that! Now move faster!!

*Thwock!!*

Luna: Ack! Ok ok ok!! Wish the others would hurry up...

LD: Dear God are they doing what I think they're doing.

LD peers inside through a peephole. Yep, they are. DMS has shrunken his body (Don't ask), and is literally riding on Luna's back. Luna herself is naked, and DMS is holding what looks like a horse whip. Luna's ass is red and swollen-looking, and has darker red lines on several parts of her cheeks. LD facepalms.

ZX: Well, at least they're exploring new and interesting ways of making me jealous.

LD: No freaking kidding. Hold on...

LD pounds on the door. He hears a heavy *Thwomp!!*, and a moan of pain.

DMS: Why...??

Luna: They're here!! Get my clothes!!

DMS: Oh right ok!!

LD hears some shuffling, and soon Luna answers the door, having put on clothes.

LD: Hey, guys!

DMS: Don't lie, how long were you standing out there?

LD: Eh, a second or two.

DMS: Ok fine. So are we heading out?

LD: Yup. So is Twilight gonna take care of the baby while we're gone?

Luna: Yes, we've already arranged for that. She'll be here soon.

ZX: Right, so let's say bye to Stagert and move on...

DMS: Right-O.

DMS warps all of them off to the port-town.

At the town...

The gang walks into the bar. They spot Stagert sitting at the same table as before.

Stagert: Aye, 'ello lads! What brings ya here?

ZX: We just came to say goodbye, and thank you for helping us.

Stagert: It was no problem, lads! I'm glad I could put on me sea legs again! Tis a damned shame we couldn't find any other treasure then that relic. Oh well! If ya ever need sea travel again, ye know who to call!

ZX: We'll be certain to! See ya, old timer.

The others say their goodbyes as they leave the bar and head to the inn to get Meta Knight.

At the inn...

Meta Knight sits at a small bar, drunk. A white Equestrian sits next to him. He turns towards the Equestrian.

MK: Do ya know who I am?? I'm Meta Knight!! Best *hic* sword fighter in the land...

The Equestrian sighs, irritated. DMS recognizes her.

DMS: Rarity? What're you doing in this place?

Rarity: Oh, why hello, Revelian. Twilight told me that I needed to get out and explore the country, a bit. You know, since we live here.

DMS: Yeah, but why are you here of all places??

Rarity: Well, I was exploring this part of the countryside, and I needed a place to stay. Sadly, this is the only inn in the area. I WAS mildly enjoying myself, but then this fellow came along. Started off quiet, but now he won't shut his damned mouth. So what brings you all here?

DMS: We came to get him.

Rarity: What?? Why him??

DMS: Despite the fact he's staggering around drunk, he's a competent ally.

Rarity: What are you even doing, anyways?

DMS: Loooong story...

Rarity: Well, ok then...

DMS: Hey Rarity, wanna see something funny?

Rarity: Humor me.

DMS reaches over and yanks the mask off of Meta Knight, exposing his baby-like face. Rarity covers her mouth in a giggle.

Luna: THAT'S what he looks like under his mask?! PFTAHAHAH!!! He looks so adorable!!

MK: SHADDUP!!! AND YOU!!!

He points at Rarity drunkenly.

MK: DO YOU KNOW WHAT I COULD *hic* DO!?! I COULD CUT THAT... THAT... PENIS... OFF OF YOUR HEAD!!

LD snorts. Rarity snarls at him and backhands him across the face.

Rarity: IT IS NOT A PENIS, YOU INCOMPETENT SWINE! IT'S CALLED A HORN!! I'M A UNICORN FOR GODS SAKE.

Rarity storms out of the bar.

ZX: See ya!

DMS picks up Meta Knight, who now has a big red hand-print on his face. He drags him off. The gang follows.