User:Ludicrine/Theta Archive/The Carbon Files

Chapter 1: The Dark Society
The night had fallen freshly but a few hours ago, with the stars masked by clouds of pollution. It was so quiet that the crickets had given way to the daring rustling of the wind, which occasionally would silence so that the tap-dancing bananas could be heard. But regardless of the silence from the outer realms, nothing could compare itself to that of the hushed gathering within an abandoned warehouse off near the coast.

?: [EXPLETIVE REDACTED]s... y’all know why we’s here.

The shady figure stood at the edge of a table, incredibly slim in appearance. And shady. And also slim. And he stood up. The real one. Okay you know where this is going but I’m just clarifying that this isn’t Eminem. Or Jorj. Or that other dude with the goggles who curses a lot, but I’ll get his name eventually.

The equally-mysterious beings surrounded the oval table, all in chairs, patiently waiting for what they had already known was to come. One sat proudly, resting his chin on his fist, and occasionally took a lengthy puff of smoke from the slender cigarette between his fingers. Another, a much heftier being, cracked his knuckles in anticipation, while the one next to him was the one being cracked, by some miraculous accident. Directly across from the figurehead was a rather dazed individual, spinning in circles with his chair impatiently. The last member bared his fangs into a wicked grin, whispering under his breath, “dah-lee, dah-lee”, in a language long forgotten.

The dark society had been assembled, finally, to enact their dark purpose among the world and-

??: Yo, what the [EXPLETIVE REDACTED], man? I thought this was a dank society! ... My apologies. I seem to have completely misunderstood what was taking place here. But I suppose I should start at its humble beginnings...

Chapter 0: Thinder Begin(der)s
The being known as Thinder was taking a relaxing walk (?) in the woods, electrocuting everything that it looked at and causing more wildfires than that one bear would’ve wanted to see in his entire life. The air was so perfect, the humidity was enough that static flowed freely and jumped from tree to burning tree, and the silenced songbirds had inspired it to begin to break out into spontaneous poetry:

Thinder: BZZZZZKNFDSKFHVXXILAANJHNNGGGWWJDDFASDF-

But Thinder’s frolicking would come to a halt very soon, as it stumbled across what had appeared to be a dark, chrome-colored orb. It managed to trip over it and collapse into a bacon, frying it entirely and conventiently killing off the major villain from the last story that we don’t talk about.

Thinder: THVV FVVCK?

The chrome-orb.jpg beckoned to him, enticing him with all sorts of tales of vampires and long-haired heroes of ancient times. Thinder had felt so warm, so invincible, and so overwhelmingly Christian within its presence. It was, in fact, the fated Carbon Orb, The Last Elemental Orb That Was Lost Long Ago, Which Was 100000x More Strong Than The Other Elements Like Metal And 100000x More Durable Than The Other Elements Like Metal.

Thinder: BVVZZZTTTZXCSXF9001VVNTLCRRPRCSNNG.

It certainly intended to act upon what it had said, as it began to take within its own essence the orb, Becoming A Part Of The Carbonized Entity And Thus Starting The Adventure...

Chapter 1 (Second Attempt): The Dank Society
A group of complete dipshit rappers got together in Busta Rhymes’ basement and fucked around as celebration for him becoming a canon character or something. I mean, I thought the other idea was cooler, but whatever, man, it’s all you.

The organization, known as Rapping Things Up (a name picked out of a hat, though nobody knew who suggested it), consisted of Busta Rhymes as the proud leader, returning from his debut story that is totally canon and involved holiday probably. Snoop Dogg was the proud second-in-command, with other members being, as listed:

Bizarro: Bizarre!

Bizarro, the not-actually-that-famous rapper of D12!

Soulja Boy: Soulja B-

Bizarro: Hey, yo, what the [EXPLETIVE REDACTED]? My name’s Bizarre! Bizarre! Not “Bizarro”, [EXPLETIVE REDACTED].

The joke is that I’m still censoring expletives despite cursing before. But yeah, his name’s Bizarre, and he certainly won’t open a Bizarro portal later on.

Soulja Boy: WATCH ME CRANK DAT-

Okay, that’s enough. His name’s Soulja Boy and he’s useless.

feat. Pitbull: feat. Pitbull!

Pitbull, who was being featured at the time and whose real name was not feat. Pitbull!

& Knuckles: And Knuckles!

& Knuckles, whose real name was actually & Knuckles!

???: Featuring Dante from the Devil May Cry series!

... I have no idea who that guy is. He’s not even in the room. But anyway, the legendary group decides to do something together! Like a collab of sorts. Those happen sometimes.

Busta: So what are we gon’ do?

Soulja: Well, we all rappers an’ [EXPLETIVE REDACTED], right? We gon’ write a song or what?

Snoop Dogg: *Does something that Snoop Dogg would say I guess*

Bizarre: Hell yeah. We gotta get a producer up in here, though.

Busta: Y’all, why don’t we get Deuce tha Prodeuca on that [EXPLETIVE REDACTED]?

& Knuckles: Ｙｅｓ, ｍｙ ｇｅｎｔｌｅ ｆｒｉｅｎｄｓ. Ａ ｐｒｏｄｕｃｅｒ ｏｆ ｈｉｓ ｃａｌｉｂｅｒ ｗｏｕｌｄ ｃｅｒｔａｉｎｌｙ ｈｅｉｇｈｔｅｎ ｏｕｒ ｅｘｐｅｒｉｅｎｃｅ.

feat. Pitbull: Dale!

Busta: Alright, y’all, then we betta’ get a move-on. Everyone in the Busta-Bus.

Bizarre: Aw, hell no! That piece of [EXPLETIVE REDACTED] ain’t got no leg room!

Busta: [EXPLETIVE REDACTED], does you wanna walk?

Bizarre: *Grunts*

And so, Rapping Things Up sought out Deuce, the totally-absolutely-best-and-not-an-asshole producer in all the land, to manage their upcoming collab album that would dominate charts across the universe.

Chapter ? 4 ?: Thinder Continders
The Busta-Bus, while not the most comfortable ride as Bizarre had mentioned-

Bizarre: Damn right! I can’t feel my arms!

- Was a completely reasonable method of transportation in which Busta transfigured his entire essence into becoming an organic automobile mimicking that of later Ludusian technology. As lots of room was needed for his internal organs and bits, trivial matters like leg room, arm room, and other sorts of room needed for Bizarre had to be placed aside. Another issue, of course, was the possibility of them hitting a snag…

Busta-Bus(ted): AAH!!

The manbus suddenly swerved off to the side after being spiked by a sharp spike, driving off a cliff and killing off some of the best and worst rappers of our generation.

THE END

…

… Just kidding. But still, Busta was forced to transform back into his usual self from the shock and pain, leaving a collapsed lot of burly rapper men in a neat pile on top of him.

Soulja: [EXPLETIVE REDACTED], get off me!

Bizarre: The [EXPLETIVE REDACTED] happened, man?

Snoop: *Probably smokes more weed? Probably?? What else does he do???*

The spike in the road seemed to twitch, and under the observation of everyone that was important (which basically has its cut-off after feat. Pitbull, in all honesty), was not a spike at all. It was a small lightning bolt-shaped creature coated in an ashen substance.

Carbon Thinderling: BZZZZZZZT!!

Busta: Y’all, look out! It’s after us!!

BATTLE!: 1 CARBON THINDERLING

feat. Pitbull’s HASTY AURA activated! Agility increased!

feat. Pitbull used DALE! All teammates’ Accuracy increased!

Soulja Boy used BATTLE CRY!

Soulja Boy: YAAH.

Carbon Thinderling is confused!

& Knuckles used CHAOS PUNCH! Carbon Thinderling took (CH)405 damage!

Snoop Dogg used HUFF-PUFF!

Snoop: Awww… das’ some good [EXPLETIVE REDACTED], mayne.

Carbon Thinderling is unaffected.

Busta Rhymes used STAY STRAPPED!

Busta Rhymes gripped his gun. Critical chance increased!

Bizarre used BODY SLAM! Carbon Thinderling took 121212 damage!

Carbon Thinderling faded away into static!

BATTLE END!

Busta: Haah. [EXPLETIVE REDACTED] was easy, man.

Bizarre: The hell it was! I did all the work there, an’ I’m tired as [EXPLETIVE REDACTED]! Someone help me up.

Soulja Boy: My [EXPLETIVE REDACTED], what the [EXPLETIVE REDACTED] was that, [EXPLETIVE REDACTED]?

Busta: I don’t know, man, but we gotta find Deuce fast before more of these guys show up!

Chapter 5: The One Where Nothing Happens
Okay look stuff actually does happen in this chapter please read all of the story. Especially the battle scenes. I worked hard on this one.

Rapping Things Up continues their travels on the Busta-Bus through the night, luckily not encountering any more of the strange critters as before. Just before dawn began to break, Busta stopped suddenly.

Soulja: My [EXPLETIVE REDACTED], what’s wrong?

Bizarre: Yeah? Also, the hell do you keep saying [EXPLETIVE REDACTED] for?

Soulja: It rhymes with [EXPLETIVE REDACTED]. Makes this rap [EXPLETIVE REDACTED] a lot easier.

& Knuckles: Ⓨⓔⓢ, Ⓘ ⓓⓞ ⓒⓞⓝⓒⓤⓡ ⓦⓘⓣⓗ ⓣⓗⓘⓢ ⓢⓣⓐⓣⓔⓜⓔⓝⓣ●

Busta: Sorry, y’all, I just need a break. Driving the Busta-Bus is a lot of work.

Snoop: Not as much work as you put into that steam roller.

Busta: Aw, come on, man, that was one [EXPLETIVE REDACTED] time!

feat. Pitbull: *Does that creepy smile thing he does sometimes*

Suddenly, a rustling from a nearby bush came by.

Busta: Hey, uh… does anyone know what time it is?

Snoop: Still four-twenny, man.

Busta: That’s too early… It’s not dawn yet!

Soulja: Then what’s that?...

????: BZZZZZDGCTDHGLESONEFACSIHF-

BATTLE!: 1 CARBON SOLARITE

feat. Pitbull’s HASTY AURA activated! Agility increased!

feat. Pitbull used DALE! All teammates’ Accuracy increased!

Soulja Boy used DREADED DEVELOPMENT!

Soulja: I don’t even give a [EXPLETIVE REDACTED]. Hit me up on Twitter, [EXPLETIVE REDACTED].

Carbon Solarite is confused. Not, like, confused as in the status effect, but just really confused.

& Knuckles used RECKLESS SWING! Carbon Solarite took CH(4071)C damage!

& Knuckles became stunned!

Snoop Dogg used JOINT EFFORT! All teammates’ Critical chance inc-

Bizarre: [EXPLETIVE REDACTED], this is NOT the time to be blazing it!!

… All teammates’, except for Bizarre, increased their Critical chance.

Busta Rhymes issued a HEADBUTT CHALLENGE!

Busta: Hmph! You want to ram with me?

Carbon Solarite became locked in combat with Busta Rhymes!

Bizarre used TWO-AND-A-HALF SIT-UPS (TO GET BUFF)!

Bizarre: A-Ah!! AAH!! DRE, YOU [EXPLETIVE REDACTED]! I CAN’T GET UP!!

Critical chance increased! Bizarre became paralyzed!

Carbon Solarite used RED THINDERSTORM! Busta Rhymes absorbed all the damage!

Busta Rhymes’ PROTAGONISTIC AURA activated! Busta Rhymes escaped from battle!

feat. Pitbull used WICKED GRIN! Carbon Solarite’s evasion decreased!

Soulja Boy used BATTLE CRY!

Soulja: YAAAAAH!!!*

* That is a different video. You don’t have to listen to the whole thing, but just go up until the first verse to get the gist of it. This is for the purposes of simulating the confusion that Carbon Solarite will be experiencing shortly. Because it’s really weird. I’m not just linking you to awful rap songs because I feel like it.*

Carbon Solarite became confused!

& Knuckles is stunned!

Snoop Dogg used CRIP WALK! Snoop Dogg began to bleed!

Bizarre is paralyzed!

Carbon Solarite used MAGE THINDER! Snoop Dogg took no damage from his CRIP WALK!

feat. Pitbull used a NONDESCRIPT POTION on Snoop Dogg! Snoop Dogg is no longer bleeding.

Soulja Boy used CRANK DAT! Carbon Solarite took 3285 damage!

& Knuckles used CHAOS PUNCH! Carbon Solarite took (CH)405(+2000) damage!

Snoop Dogg used… okay, let’s face it, I’m out of weed-named attacks, but he damages Carbon Solarite.

Carbon Solarite implodes into a crisp!

BATTLE END!

Bizarre: [EXPLETIVE REDACTED]! Someone help me up!

Soulja: I gatchu. Yo, where’s Big B at?

Busta-Bus: Ova’ here! I was getting the Busta-Bus ready! We gotta get the [EXPLETIVE REDACTED] outta’ here, y’all!

The group all enters the Busta-Bus, which drives off into the best chapter in the story, because it was written by Demmes.

Suddenly, Pineapples
Luna watched her husband fly away off to LDZX Headquarters, both assuming that the other would be having another average day at work. Fortunately for Luna, she had a mo-

OH HELL NO. OH HELL NO. THAT’S STAYING DEAD.

& Knuckles: ˙uoıʇɐɹǝɯolƃuoɔ ɹǝɥʇo ʇɐɥʇ ʇou puɐ '„d∩ sƃuıɥ⊥ ƃuıddɐᴚ„ ǝɹɐ ǝʍ ʇɐɥʇ ǝʇou ɟo ʎɥʇɹoʍ sı ʇı 'sǝʎ

As I was saying...

It was a long day of routine training, as per usual for Horst and Rudolph. The two had finally returned to their room, as the crimson sun slowly started to set over the snowy landscape overlooking their window. Rudolph sighs, nervously, as they walk into their room. They had cleaned up before hand, thankfully. Today was the day he was finally going to ask. He was scared. He knew he was scared. But he had to be strong... He finally musters up the courage to speak as soon as they enter their room.

Rudolph: Horst, can I talk to you?

Horst turns towards his companion, offering a soft smile.

Horst: Of course, friend. What's on your mind?

Rudolph sighs, looking away nervously.

Rudolph: I don't know... I'm just... Kind of worried you'll see me differently…

Horst gives him a curious frown.

Horst: Hm? How so, friend? You need to speak up.

Rudolph: It's just... I've been thinking about this for several weeks now... This... Question…

Horst slowly nods.

Horst: Yes, yes, go on.

Rudolph: But... I'm worried you'll see me differently…

Horst: Friend, please. We're professionals. What you ask won't make me see you any different. At all.

Rudolph looks towards him, a faint blush appearing over his cheeks as Horst steps towards him.

Rudolph: A-Are you sure?

Horst gently puts hand on his shoulder.

Horst: Oh, just spit it out.

Rudolph suddenly produces a blunt from his coat. Rudolph suddenly grins at him.

Rudolph: I was wondering if you'd help me smoke all this DANK WEED.



Squanto: Lol marijuana.

Chapter Sssssss7: The One Where Someone Dies
See? I told you it was interesting. Someone’s gonna die.

The Busta-Bus arrived right in front of Deuce’s lair, which probably had a lava lamp or something. Also, the lava lamp is a Thindoomer. What a surprise. Whaat aa surpriiiiiiise.

BATTLE!: 1 THINDOOMER AND 1 CARBON THINDERLET

feat. Pitbull’s HASTY AURA activated! Agility increased!

feat. Pitbull used DALE! All teammates’ Accuracy increased!

Soulja: There’s too many of them…

Bizarre: The hell are you on? There’s only two of them!

Soulja: There’s no way out of this…

Snoop: What are you on, [EXPLETIVE REDACTED], and can I get some?

Soulja: There’s only one thing that I can do…

& Knuckles: Åη∂ ẘн@⊥ ℌαρ℘℮ᾔℯ∂ ⊥◎ ⑂◎υґ ♥ø☤ḉε⁇

Soulja: Get ready for this, because it’s quite irritating and repeti-

PASS IT TO A- PASS IT TO A- PASS IT TO A- PASS- PASS

Busta: MY EARS!!!!

Soulja: PASS IT TO ARAB I’MMA PASS IT TO ARAB PASS IT- PASS IT TO ARAB I-I-I-I’MMA PASS IT TO ARAB PASS IT-PASS IT TO ARAB I’MMA PASS IT TO ARAB PASS IT- PASS IT TO ARAB I-I-I-I’MMA PASS IT TO ARAB

Carbon Thinderlet curled into a ball and died of internal bleeding!

Soulja: PASS IT-PASS IT TO ARAB I’MMA PASS IT TO ARAB PASS IT- PASS IT TO ARAB I-I-I-I’MMA PASS IT TO ARAB PASS IT-PASS IT TO ARAB I’MMA PASS IT TO ARAB PASS IT- PASS IT TO ARAB I-I-I-I’MMA PASS IT TO ARAB

feat. Pitbull: *Shows a worried and disturbed face, but doesn’t say anything because all he can say is ‘dale’, probably*

Bizarre: IT’S TOO MUCH FOR HIM!!!!

Soulja: P͚̟͎̣̆̀͛͝A̧̩̹̱̓̀͗̄S͉̱͔̻̐̔̈́̀S͎̞̣͕͆͐̓̈́ ̰͇̥̝̀͋͗͝I̢͕̙͔͊̋̎̐T͖͕̮́͊́͝ͅ-̜͉̗͍̀͛͂̑P̨̢͙̱͐̽̉͐A̛̰͍̳̟̓̿̇S͖̝̥͎̋̅̊͑S̡̝͚̲̔̇́͘ ̱͍̭̩̾̍́̋I̳̦͍̋͊́̉ͅT̜͇̬̘̾̑͋̚ ̞͍̱͈̐̍͊͐Ṯ̛̯̮͇̇͋̈Ǫ̗͈̹̿̉̽͗ ̧̻͕̽̐̀̿͜Ả̤̺̮̣́̓͠R̲̫͈̙͑̈̇̉A͙̟̖̪̾̃̌͠B̛̖̟͕̯͒͒͌ ̲̰̫̬͗̎͂͊I̥͖̦̹̔̈͒̈́’̧̛̛̩̙͑͂ͅM̦͈̰̟̀̏̀͘M̰̦̖̥͗͛̅͘A̳̙͉̫͂͑̌̄ ̩̠̟̟͂͌̈́̌P̩̗͓̊͌̎̌͜Á̢̳͓͐͠͠ͅS̢̭͕̗̐̐͋̇S͈̟͚̬̾̓͗͝ ̘̞̹̦̈́͗͑̚Į̲̯͔̓̆̓̚T̨̡̻̣̾̈́͋͘ ̟̘̫̟̇̏̏͠T̫̲͇̻̋̈́̕͠Ờ̢̧̰̺̍͛ ̮̹̗̺́̓͋͝Å̗͎̲̼̓͑̉R͚͈̯̩͂͒̂̋A̹̱͉̦͂̌́̃B̧̟̤̀͂̕͝ͅ ̼̻͙̣͌̈́̆̕P͈̜̟͔͌̉̕͝Ă̧̡̖͚̏̾̕S̲̖̖̯̏̈́͒͝S͉͔̭̅́͆̀ͅ ̧͈̤̗͂̃̓̀Ḭ̹̜̯̋̀́̿T̼̗͖͙͗̀̋͘-̬͉̤̼͊̓̈́͌ ̧̛̯͚͖̃͋͠P̖̫̘͔͑̓̎̚Ä̢̧̮͚́̈͐̂Ṡ͖̦̦͈͐́̽S̨̤͚͔͑̄͂͘ ̡̨͍͈̐̃́̾Ì͙̮̦̭͆̐͌Ṱ̣̝͙̀̒̏̐ ̹̟͎͊͌͌͂ͅT͍̪̰̈́̋̎́͜Õ̦̝̘͗̑͐͜ ͔̠͇̮̋̍͐̆A̪̺̘̱͌̽̈́͐R̹͙̺͖̉̒͠͝A̖̱̬̹͌͐͝͝B͈͓͎̣̔̚͠͝ ̧͎̥͇́̄̑̚Î̘͍͈͓̔̓͝-̧̨͖̥͊̊̚͠I̡̦̯̤͋̈͐͠-͍͍͍̬̒̽̇̕Ỉ̬͇̰̼̈̂̈́-̢͓͔̺̈́̑͒͆Į̛̱̣̘̓̽͑’̛͎̗͍̰̽̔͠M̦̜̖̯̐̓̂̌M̖͇͍̣͑̑͗̇A̯͎͉̹͒̌̂̀ ̯͉̥̱͗̅͛̈́P͍͉̂̔̚͜͝ͅA̧̜̱͍͗̀̓̕S̡̩͉̹̀͐̎͝S͍̥̟̑̐̅̀͜ ̧̳̲͇̓̄́̈́I̛͈͉͔͇͛͛̃Ţ͈̫̖̉̆͘͝ ̡̬̬͖͂͌̍͐T͉͙̟̤̎̀̚͘Ǫ̨̮̯̾́̏̕ ̨̼̬̇͋͋̚ͅÄ͕̲͙͚͌̆̍R̩̮̥͎̋͂̌̓Ä̞̘͖͉́͂̈́͂B̝͈̪̮̿̽͛͘ ̖̰̳͚̃͒̿̅P̮̻͚̪̎̑̿̿Å̪͇̖̺̔̂͘S͙͔̼̆̈́͘͘͜S͚̟̠̪͊̓͒̀ ̫̱̦̦͗͂̓̚I͔̤͙͑͆̔̊ͅȚ̛̬͈̲̊̀͌-̟͓̯̘̿̈́̑͝P̢̤͉̞̈͂͊̑Ä̢̦͓̫̏͋̍Ş̣͈͉͂͑̍̏S͔̼̰̗̍̋͒̂ ̨̢̝͍̈̊̂͝Ḭ͚̗͕̏̒̓̇Ṫ̨̠̠̖̃̓͝ ̖͖͖͔̄̎̂̓T͉̘̰̦̈̀̕̕Ő̪̩͈͚͌̑͝ ̨̰̯̥̄̊̅̐Ȃ̜͇̤̞͆̄͝R̨̛͉̞̺̽̏͂A̞͓͙͐͆̃̆ͅB̡͙͈̩̿͒̎̀ ̖͈̺̖̈̀͐̽I͙͉͉̮̋̀̽̏’̢̧̰̝̈̃͛̚Ṃ̡̩̄̈́̀͜͠M̧̝̜̥͑̇̀̆Ä̢̛̳̮̙́̆̆ ̛̝̩̬̰̒̀̕P̙̞̗̙̔͂͑̚A̝̹̭͕͑̉̽̚S̨̩̭͔̽̒̑̆S̜̞̞̑͋̏̓͜ ̩͍̞͔͋̓̍͝Î̢̱͖̣͗͒͆T̢͈̗̺̕̕͠͝ ̡̻̭͎̆͛͘̚T͇̪̜͖͛̋̾̂Ǫ͔͉͆̀̋̚ͅ ̡̺̠̭̊͂̆̚Ą̛̛̯̥͉̏͝R͉̲̻̜̋̈́̍͠A̡̱̣̟̋̑́̈́B̝̳͎̗̉̏̒͂ ̫͉̰̹̉̅̀̕P̜̟͖̃̄͒͜͝A͕̰͈͎͐́̈́̀S̡̖̜͇̐͒̎͝S̟̭̮͕͊̀͐̚ ͙͖̹̉̆̋͜͝Ī͇̖̪̼̏̃̀T̼̺̥͓̔̔͑́-̺̻̣̺͆͂̑̚ ̫̫̪̫̾́̊͝P̫̞͍̺̿̑͊͘Ą̹̰͎̊̃͋̈́S͕̲̪̃̀̌̎ͅS̛̬̩̪̒͒̀ͅ ̱̻͎͚̎͑͒̕Ȉ̞̟̲͈͂̃͘Ţ̣͗̑́͜͜͠ ̱̺̲̤̎̾̇͠T̨͚͓͈̽͗͌̊O̹̻͖̫͗̃͝͠ ͈͖͛͋̆̚͜ͅĄ͓̣͔̅́̍͝Ř̢͍̝̦̇̋̕Ą̜̲͕͌̀̀̕B̩͈͓̣͗̒̈͠ ̬̰̝̮̈́̈̇̍Ȋ͕̖̫̙̿̇̚-͓̼̼̻̀̄̃͂Ỉ̢͖̠̟͛͂͝-̡̼͉͔͒̃̓͂Į̠̹̞̄͗̏͘-͓͈͕͖̍̾͑̚I̡̯̹̗̒̓̈̚’̻̤͙̼̌̓͝͝M̢̦̫̝̓͛́̓M̨̡̬̬̈́̔̀̄Ạ̻̮̈́̉̚͜͠ ̺̫̹̿̆̕͝ͅP̭̘̪̱͐̈͌̒À̢̧̛͙̱̆̈́S͔̰̣̿͐̋͜͝Ṡ̭͚̭͚̇͊̉ ̢̥͈͓̔͑͝͝İ̝̣̗̬͌̎̚T̢̼̪̦́͑͌̉ ̛̖̺̜̂̾͜͝T̨̨̟̔̈̆̕ͅÖ̳̼̼͉́̅̈̈́ ̱͎̠̫́̉̑́Â̧̬̠̯͛̋̚R̙͇͎̺͐̀̍̎Ǎ͚͚̻͈͐̆͋B̢̟̩̩̓̔̅͌

Soulja Boy was engulfed in a cloud of dank smoke, whisking him and Thindoomer away!

BATTLE END!

Snoop: He… smoked himself into the next life… *Sheds a single tear*

& Knuckles: Hє... dїєd Д нєяо…

Holding a hasty funeral for their fallen ☭omrade, Rapping Things Up rushes into Deuce’s lair to meet with the producer himself.

Chapter 8: Behind the Mask
?????: Ahahahah!! Don’t approach me!!

Busta: Yo, Deuce, it’s just Busta.

The shady figure, who was slim Jeff trembling in a corner, attempted to ward the group off with a crucifix.

Snoop: Yo, it’s your ol’ pal Snoop Diggidy. What’s goin’ on, man?

Deuce: Aaaahhh-ahahahahah!! G-get out of here!!

feat. Pitbull: Dale?

Deuce: He’s coming for us all!! You can’t stop him!! Ahhahahahaha!!

& Knuckles: Hᴇ's ᴄʟᴇᴀʀʟʏ ᴅᴇʟᴜsɪᴏɴᴀʟ. Wᴇ'ʟʟ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴋɪʟʟ ʜɪᴍ.

Busta: Nahh, man, he’s always like this.

Deuce: K-kill me?! I could beat you all up before the cops get here!! Ahahahahah!!

& Knuckles: M̶̷̲̅i̶̷̲̅g̶̷̲̅h̶̷̲̅t̶̷̲̅ ̶̷̲̅I̶̷̲̅ ̶̷̲̅s̶̷̲̅u̶̷̲̅g̶̷̲̅g̶̷̲̅e̶̷̲̅s̶̷̲̅t̶̷̲̅ ̶̷̲̅u̶̷̲̅s̶̷̲̅i̶̷̲̅n̶̷̲̅g̶̷̲̅ ̶̷̲̅o̶̷̲̅u̶̷̲̅r̶̷̲̅ ̶̷̲̅s̶̷̲̅p̶̷̲̅e̶̷̲̅c̶̷̲̅i̶̷̲̅a̶̷̲̅l̶̷̲̅ ̶̷̲̅m̶̷̲̅o̶̷̲̅v̶̷̲̅e̶̷̲̅?̶̷̲̅ ̶̷̲̅W̶̷̲̅e̶̷̲̅ ̶̷̲̅h̶̷̲̅a̶̷̲̅v̶̷̲̅e̶̷̲̅n̶̷̲̅'̶̷̲̅t̶̷̲̅ ̶̷̲̅d̶̷̲̅o̶̷̲̅n̶̷̲̅e̶̷̲̅ ̶̷̲̅t̶̷̲̅h̶̷̲̅a̶̷̲̅t̶̷̲̅ ̶̷̲̅y̶̷̲̅e̶̷̲̅t̶̷̲̅,̶̷̲̅ ̶̷̲̅t̶̷̲̅h̶̷̲̅i̶̷̲̅s̶̷̲̅ ̶̷̲̅s̶̷̲̅t̶̷̲̅o̶̷̲̅r̶̷̲̅y̶̷̲̅,̶̷̲̅ ̶̷̲̅a̶̷̲̅n̶̷̲̅d̶̷̲̅ ̶̷̲̅a̶̷̲̅ ̶̷̲̅c̶̷̲̅o̶̷̲̅l̶̷̲̅l̶̷̲̅a̶̷̲̅b̶̷̲̅o̶̷̲̅r̶̷̲̅a̶̷̲̅t̶̷̲̅i̶̷̲̅o̶̷̲̅n̶̷̲̅ ̶̷̲̅m̶̷̲̅i̶̷̲̅g̶̷̲̅h̶̷̲̅t̶̷̲̅ ̶̷̲̅b̶̷̲̅e̶̷̲̅ ̶̷̲̅w̶̷̲̅h̶̷̲̅a̶̷̲̅t̶̷̲̅ ̶̷̲̅w̶̷̲̅e̶̷̲̅'̶̷̲̅v̶̷̲̅e̶̷̲̅ ̶̷̲̅n̶̷̲̅e̶̷̲̅e̶̷̲̅d̶̷̲̅e̶̷̲̅d̶̷̲̅.̶̷̲̅

Bizarre: Yo,, he’s just nervous. He has good reason to be.

Snoop: That special move seems like a good idea, though.

Busta: Yeah. Come on, y’all. We’re gonna make this song happen, with or without a Prodeuca.

Bizarre: Hang on, I think I have something that might help us…

Bizarre finally did the thing and opened a Bizarro portal...

Chapter You Know Wat Screw You: In The Meantime, Delinius
But who cares what happened while he was there? Here’s a Flameyman chapter.

Delinius stands on a rooftop. Somewhere down below, he knows that there is a man selling ice cream. He must find this man, and destroy his hideous wares.

As he descends all the stairs of the building, and he does not fall down the stairs like CERTAIN PEOPLE WHO SEEM TO LIKE THAT and arrives on the bottom floor. He spots the ice cream vendor. He starts running towards him, and…

… Hah.

Delinius is suddenly stopped due to seeing someone who looks a lot like Sanford.

Delinius: OH HELL NAHW YOU'RE NOT GETTING AWAY THIS TIME.

Delinius grabs the man and smashes him into a nearby wall. It isn't Sanford.

But now, the ice cream vendor is somewhere else. Delinius tries to find him. There he is, selling his horrible product to the public.

Delinius: Hold it, you vile merchant!

Vendor: Excuse me sir, can I help you?

Delinius: I don't want you and your nasty cold ice, you evil man!

He proceeds to burn the vendor's cart and knocks the vendor down.

After this, he punches the vendor and leaves. And nobody ever talked about it again.

/thend

Chapter 9: Money Add, Then Multiply
Snoop: O:

Busta: Hell, man, that was the nastiest trip I’ve ever had.

Snoop: Yeah, man. I think I saw Eminem in there?

Bizarre: Man, fuck that guy.

& Knuckles: ᓰ ᕊᙓᒪᓮᙓᐯᙓ ᓮ ᔕᗩᙡ ᗩ ᙅᗩᑕTᘮᔕ?

feat. Pitbull: Dale, dale!

Busta: He’s right, y’all! Now that we know that we have to [PLOT DETAILS], we can go stop Thinder!

Snoop: Wait, what was that, bro?

Bizarre: Ah, that might be a side effect. Got rid of the curse filter an’ shit and now it covers relevant plot details. Or something.

Snoop: Really? Cool! Fuck, shit, bitch, [EXPLETIVE REDACTED]- aw, hey! Why can’t a [EXPLETIVE REDACTED] say [EXPLETIVE REDACTED] around here?

& Knuckles: Oh, look, I can talk normally again. Wait, why was I being half-assedly censored again?

Busta: I think it was because [PLOT DETAILS] an’ shit.

Rapping Things Up then- [PLOT DETAILS]

Thinder: THVV FVVN BVVVVN SVVSTVVM HVVS NVVW STVVRTVVD. VVF VVVVW WVVNT FVVN-BVVNS, SVVCK MVV DVVCK!! PVVVVP SHVVT FVVCKVVRS!!!

BATTLE!: 1 CARBON LORD THINDER

Carbon Lord Thinder’s HASTIER AURA activated! Agility increased!

Carbon Lord Thinder used RITUAL SACRIFICE! Snoop Dogg took 7412238 damage!

Snoop Dogg puffed his last…

feat. Pitbull’s HASTY AURA activated! Agility increased!

feat. Pitbull used DALE! All teammates’ Accuracy increased!

& Knuckles used LEG DAY! The move failed!

Busta Rhymes used MAKE-A-[EXPLETIVE REDACTED]-WANNA-!

Busta: STOP!!

Carbon Lord Thinder was put to sleep!

Bizarre used AN IMPOSSIBLY LUCKY ROLL!

Busta: Yo, you still have those dice?

Bizarre: [EXPLETIVE REDACTED], am I a member of D12 or what?

Bizarre transformed into MARQDEEZ-NUTS SPINDEEZ-RECORDS MINDFUCKYOU!

Carbon Lord Thinder is asleep!

Bizarre: I think it’s time we… RAP THIS UP!!!

feat. Pitbull used RAP!

feat. Pitbull: AHORA, YO HE TOMADO ESPAÑOL EN LA ESCUELA DE ONCE AÑOS, PERO TODAVÍA NO HE APRENDIDO SUFICIENTE PARA HACER FRASES DE GRANDES O FRASES COMO ESTO, ASÍ QUE ESTOY USANDO UN TRADUCTOR, DALE! HEY, DIJE TRADUCTOR, JAJA, DALE! DE TODOS MODOS, GRACIAS POR TOMARSE EL TIEMPO PARA TRADUCIR ESO, Y TAMBIÉN, LA BROMA ES QUE RAPS PITBULL EN ESPAÑOL A VECES- MISTER WORLDWIDE!!

Carbon Lord Thinder took 23485 damage!

Carbon Lord Thinder woke up!

& Knuckles used RAP!

& Knuckles: … Wait, I can’t rap.

Carbon Lord Thinder took (CH)00(CH)00(HERE’S THE TRAIN) damage!

Busta Rhymes used RAP!

Busta: H-

Okay, you know what? Just go on YouTube and look up one of his songs. I don’t care which one. Just pick one. See that? He did that. That was his attack.

Carbon Lord Thinder took 52345 damage!

Marqdeez-nuts Spindeez-records Mindfuckyou used RAP!

That’s quite a name, eh? Say that ten times fast. Good work, you sound like an idiot. Anyway, Bizzy does something funny, too, because he’s a funny guy. I think. I mean, he’s not Funny Man, but he’s probably funny or something. Hey, maybe Funny Man should be featured in the next story? I mean, Busta’s already a canon character, so I guess anything’s possible at this point.

Carbon Lord Thinder took 12^12 damage! The joke is D12

Carbon Lord Thinder disintegrates into a pile of Thindust, leaving only the legendary Carbon Orb!

BATTLE END!

Busta: Y’all… we did it!

Bizarre: Snoop, you alright?

Snoop: *Is high* Huh?

& Knuckles: He’s good.

feat. Pitbull: Dale?

Busta: I guess we should take it to someone responsible…

Snoop: I got a better idea…

The remainder of Rapping Things Up did not listen to Snoop Dogg because he was high, but they decided to use the Carbon Orb to produce the greatest album of all time: Busta Rhymes' Rhymes With Busta, featuring Snoop Dogg, Bizarre, the ghost of Soulja Boy, the ghost of Soulja Boy's career, feat. Pitbull, feat. Arab, feat. & Knuckles, and featuring Dante from the Devil May Cry series, except that last part was a lie.

It was hella sweet.

Chapter 10: Lyrics to Rhymes with Busta
A ram, Grodus, a Bizarro World priest, Horst, Horst’s personified ambition, a literal pitbull, Rudolph, Knackles, Dante from the Devil May Cry series, and Thinder all beat up Speddos for making a crappy fanfic about them and making them all look stupid.