The Dark Emissary: Uprising

LOLSTORYTIME
Yes, yes, calm down. It'll be slow at first. Shut up. DMSDONTRUSHME. (at least its not Cuts)

Chapter 1 - New Hub City
It was a plain sunny day in the city. Several characters are in the LDZX HQ building, including most if not all major characters.

ZX: ...and that's how we almost lost DMS.

HGD: ALL that happened while I was gone?

DMS: Yup. You pretty much missed everything significant that happened with all of us. Now, ZX, if you were just trying to catch HGD up, why did you call us all up here?

ZX: THAT'S because I have a suprise for all of you.

LD: Hm, really? What could that be?

ZX: Well, I've been working on this for a long while in secret, and now it's finished.

ZX walks over to something covered with a tarp.

Pinkie: What's that?

ZX pulls the tarp off dramatically. Underneath it is what appears to be a model of a city.

ZX: THE NEW HUB CITY!!!!

DMS: ...What's that?

ZX: It's only the thing that'll get this land back into shape. As you can see, profits have been way down these past months, and the city we're in has little access to the growing eastern population, so, over the past time, the LDZX construction team and I have made this new tourist city of sorts. Not only does it function as any city, but includes a central park, numerous public diversions, as well as other whatnot, and we made a railroad specifically for transport to/from said city!

DMS: I'll admit, impressive...

ZX: And, get this. LDZX co. has funded a free vacation to Hub City for ALL of us!!

LD: Sweeeeeet!

Luna: You mentioned something about a railroad?

ZX: Oh, yes, and it's the best train you'll ever ride. A smooth ride across the country over two days in the luxury transit express line! Complete with seperate rooms, and a dinner area!

Luna: Two days...??

HGD: This is fantastic! When are we going?

ZX: Tommorrow!

LD: TOMMORROW?

Twilight: Don't we have jobs to do?

ZX: Oh, I have that taken care of. Day off for all! Meeting over.

Pinkie: Yaaaaayyyy!!!

Several of them head thier seperate ways, preparing for a good night's rest before tomorrow to catch the train.

At DMS and Luna's castle...

DMS: Well, this should be interesting! A vacation!

Luna: Hm... Should be fantastic. A two day train ride, though...

DMS: We'll have to get ZX to give us private rooms on the train... Heh.

Luna giggles once and gives DMS a quick kiss.

Luna: Wait... oh DAMNIT.

DMS: What??

Luna: What about the baby??

DMS: Oh for God's sake...

They ponder for a second.

DMS: I've got an idea. It's... a stretch, to say the least.

Luna: What is it?

DMS: What if... well... Kuipter and Celestia watched the baby?

Luna: FUCKING WHAT?!?

DMS: WELL WE CAN'T REALLY GET TWILIGHT TO WATCH HER. I MEAN, HELL, SHE'S GOING WITH US! AND WE CAN'T JUST TAKE SOLARIA WITH US!! THERE'S NO ONE ELSE TO TAKE CARE OF HER!!

Luna: Revelian. You forget. BOTH of them have tried to kill us on NUMEROUS occasions, and you want to leave our CHILD with them?! Who knows what they could do!?!

DMS: WELL, DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER IDEAS? I'D BE GLAD TO HEAR THEM.

Luna thinks, hard. Finally, she sighs.

Luna: There's nothing else we can do. We can't really rely on Twilight's other friends... And there's no one else to take care of her... But if those two do ANYTHING to my baby...

DMS: They won't. I promise. Alright, lemme call them up...

DMS pulls out his cell phone and dials Kuipter.

At Kuipter's home...

Kuipter lies on a couch, asleep. His cell phone rings, making him jump up and blast a hole in the wall with his arm cannon.

Celestia: Kuipter, dear, that's the 5th hole thus far.

Kuipter: DAMNIT I KNOW. Wait, why the hell is REVELIAN calling me??

Celestia: Ooh, interesting. Answer it.

Kuipter: And what the hell do you want??

DMS: I'm gonna be blunt. Do you want to make some money??

Kuipter looks at Celestia and grins.

Kuipter: Maybe.

DMS: Listen, me and Luna are gonna be gone for a week. We need someone to take care of Solaria. If we let you stay at our castle for the next week TO TAKE CARE OF SOLARIA, we'll pay you 1000 gold each.

Kuipter: Hm... Tempting. 2000 gold.

DMS: 1500 gold.

Kuipter: 1750.

DMS: URGH. FINE. And you listen carefully... If I come back, and I find that you two jackasses haven't taken care of my baby, I promise you, I'll plunge a sword so far up your asses, you'll be singing fucking BEETHOVEN! And you better not fuck my castle up, either!!

Kuipter: Don't worry, bro! Relax!! We'll take care of the damned kid.

DMS: YOU BETTER.

The phone hangs up.

Celestia: What did he want?

Kuipter: He's gonna pay us 3500 bucks to take care of his baby while he and Luna are away.

Celestia: Ooh, and we get to stay in Revelian's castle?

Kuipter: Yup!

Celestia: This is going to be very interesting...

Kuipter: Hehe.

Chapter 2 - I Like Trains
The night had passed. ZoshiX stood with everyone at the station, except for DMS and Luna, who were late. The train conductor looked at his watch expectantly. Everyone else is one the train, which is very large, having seperate rooms and such.

Conductor: C'mon, we have a busy schedule!

ZX: Alright, alright, hold on... Where ARE they?

LD: Maybe they "overslept".

ZX: Oh God...

Suddenly, DMS and Luna can be seen from a distance. They run like mad towards the train.

DMS: WE'RE HERE DON'T LEAVE YET.

ZX: Finally! What kept you?

DMS: We had to wait for the "babysitters" to arrive.

ZX: Who'd you get to do it?

DMS: Well, you see, well, Kuipter and Celestia.

ZX: WHAT?!

DMS: It's not as bad as you think. Money's involved, and, well, it's Kuipter. Plus, I promised to kick both of thier asses if even one scratch is on that child.

It suddenly starts to rain.

Pinkie: Eek! Come on, let's get on the train!

The gang all dashes onto the train before they get soaked.

ZX: Well, whatever, it's your kid I guess... Everyone here?

ZX runs down the list. Everyone is present.

Conductor: All aboard!! Train to New Hub is departing!!

The train doors close as the engine starts to accelerate. After a good few seconds the train is out of the station and on it's way to the city.

HGD: So, you said this train has rooms, right? Where are we all staying?

ZX pulls out out a list.

ZX: Let's see, I've got DMS and Luna in room 1, LD and HGD in room 2, Twilight and 02 in room 3, Me and Pinkie in room 4, and Lazro and Sam in room 5. Room 6 is empty. Meal services are in the kitchen, which is in the third car. There's also a little souvenier shop, and you can put extra luggage in the caboose. The trip will be over 2 days and one night.

(Reference for the Reader: [Engine]-[R1]-[R2]-[Kitchen]-[R3]-[R4]-[R5]-[R6]-[Caboose])

LD: Did you hear that, Hank? ROOM MATES! We're going to play board games, and eat pizza, and play tic tac toe, and play board games, and play cards, and eat pizza, and watch TV, and play-

HGD: HOORAYIGETIT!

DMS: Hear that Luna? We're sharing a room tonight.

Luna: Lovely...

ZX: Yeah yeah talk about your "activities" later. Preferably without any of us around. If you guys want breakfast it's ready. I'm going to go to my room to do something for a minute. I'll see you guys in a bit.

ZX exits the car, headed through the next few cars to go to room 4. The others go to the dining car for breakfast.

ZX walks down the hallway into the room. He takes his laptop out of his bag and sets it on a desk as he sits down. He opens it up and a window pops up. After loading for a second, a videochat pulls up, and someone appears on the other side. It simply appears as a human-like body, but with a faceless cube as a head.

Blockhead: Hello, sir. How are you doing?

ZX: Oh, fine. I just wanted to check on you guys. You have the instructions I gave you, right?

Blockhead: Yes, we posess the information. We will follow it strictly.

ZX: Alright. See you guys later.

Blockhead: Farewell.

ZX closes the window and puts the laptop away. He stands up and heads towards the dining car, where everyone sits. He sits next to Pinkie and starts to eat with them.

ZX: Yeesh, it's storming out there... Hope we'll be ok.

Meanwhile, on top of the car...

A figure desperately clings onto the top of the car as it moves. The figure crawls over the tops of the cars, until it makes it to the dining room car. It peers into the room through a skylight at DMS, and grins. A bolt of lightnight flashes, and the figure is revealed to be Chrysalis.

Chrysalis: I knew he'd be here... Heheh. I think there's a 6th "bedroom" car on this train... I'll have to break in and lock the door. No way in Hell I'm staying up here...

Chrysalis turns around and crawls over the tops of the cars, soon reaching the last room next to the caboose. She drops down and smashes through a window on the side of the car. She then twists the handle on the door to keep it closed.

Chrysalis: Good...

Back at the dining room...

ZX: Did you hear something break??

DMS: Mighta ran over a rock on the tracks.

ZX: No, it sounded like glass...

DMS: Hmm... Oh well, nothing to dwell on.

ZX: I guess so...

They resume eating.

Meanwhile, at DMS' castle...

Kuipter hangs on a chandelier in the foyer.

Kuipter: HAHAHA!!!

The chandelier cord snaps, and they both fall to the floor. The chandelier flat out explodes, sending electrical sparks everywhere. Celestia facepalms.

Celestia: So much for not breaking anything! Tell me, Kuipter, on how you plan to fix this.

Kuipter: I had a plan to fix this??

Celestia: WELL, I DO WONDER. REVELIAN, AFTER ALL, DID TELL US NOT TO BREAK ANYTHING.

Kuipter: Ah, fuck... I'LL COME UP WITH SOMETHING.

Celestia: All 3 of us are going to die, aren't we?

Kuipter: PROBABLY. LOOK, I'LL JUST HAVE REVELIAN DEDUCT THE COST OUT OF OUR PAY. Think he'd allow it?

Celestia: Probably not.

Kuipter: I'LL CALL AND ASK HIM.

He gets on his cell phone and calls DMS.

DMS: What did you two fuck up?

Kuipter: NOTHING. Listen, if, hypothetically, we broke something, would you deduct it from our pay instead of out-right killing us?

DMS: Depends on what you would break. Name something.

Kuipter: Err... A chandelier??

DMS: You broke the chandelier in the foyer, didn't you?

LD: HAHAHAH!!!

Kuipter: NO!!

Celestia: Yes.

DMS: DAMNIT, KUIPTER. THAT COSTED ME 2000 GOLD!!

Kuipter: AWW MAN, YOU'RE TAKING OVER HALF OF OUR PAY ALREADY?!

DMS: YOU'RE FUCKING LUCKY I'M NOT TAKING ALL OF YOUR PAY, YOU IGNORANT FUCKING TWAT!!

DMS angrily hangs up.

Kuipter: WELP, WE'RE SAFE, AT LEAST!

Celestia: We're going to wind up not getting payed, are we?

Kuipter: PROBABLY. BEATS BEING KILLED. AGAIN.

Celestia facepalms.

Back on the train...

LD: WHY did you have those two watch your kid again?? Why not Twilight's friends??

DMS: Because shut up.

LD: WITTY RESPONSE.

So they finish breakfast. The day is rather uneventful. Later on...

DMS walks towards the 6th room. He looks, confused, at the door glass that seems to be blocked.

DMS: What the hell?

DMS tries to open the door, but can't.

DMS: What the hell is up with the door?? Oh, fuck it. I'm bored out of my fucking skull! AND WE GET TO DO THIS FOR TWO DAYS.

LD: STOP YELLING.

DMS: FUCK OFF.

Hank: This is going to be interesting... Urgh.

Meanwhile, ZX and Pinkie sit in their room.

Pinkie: This is going to be so much fun!!

ZX: Yeah. New Hub City's a great place. But the train ride's going to be really boring...

ZX lays back on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. He listens to the rain pound the top of the car. ZX feels drowsy. He shakes his head and raises up.

ZX: No, can't sleep now... Ugh.

Pinkie yawns loudly.

ZX: It's only 3 o'clock... Ugh. Wonder what we could...

Pinkie: ...

She blushes and looks at ZX.

ZX: ...What?

Pinkie giggles and pushes ZX over.

ZX: Oh, that. Wait, make sure the train car is locked...

Pinkie: But what if Lazro or Sam want into their rooms??

ZX: They're all probably screwing around in the bar. Ugh, just forget it... We can't do anything until tonight, when everyone else is asleep...

Pinkie sighs and gets back up.

Pinkie: Wanna go to the bar with the others?

ZX: I guess...

They both leave the room. After heading through the currently empty 3rd car, they arrive shortly at the kitchen car, where inevitably DMS, Luna, and HGD sit at the bar. Twilight is sitting at one of the tables, reading a book with a cup of coffee, while Lazro and Sam play some kind of board game on another table. Ludicrine is unseen at the moment.

ZX: Sup, guys?

LZ: Nothing. However, I can't seem to lose against this guy. He SUCKS at eels and next signs.

S17: WHY CAN'T I WIN THIS STUPID GAME?!

Pinkie walks over to the bar to HGD.

HGD: I'll have a double, no, wait, make that triple, extra foam too-much-blood-in-your-alchohol-system special, if you will, kind sir.

DMS: Hank, nobody wants to see you that drunk. Remember that party...?

HGD: Oh, I can't help it. Plus-

LD bursts out of a door loudly.

LD: GUYS!!! THE BATHROOM SOAP SMELLS LIKE BIRTHDAY CAKE!!!!

Everyone looks at him strangely.

LD: ....I thought it was cool....

HGD: Anyway... What'll it matter. It's not like, we're going to battle or anything. Let drunks be drunks.

The bartender appears with HGD's drink. He gulps it down enjoyably.

DMS: Geez... So, ZX, what were you doing back in your room?

ZX: Oh, just taking care of business. Wanted to make sure the Blockheads were in order.

Luna: The who?

ZX: Don't worry about it. So, what are you guys up to?

Luna: Bored.

DMS: Very, very bored.

ZX: Oh, it'll be worth it when we get to NHC. Sigh, I wish there was something else we could do...

DMS: Wait, isn't that a air-hockey table over there?

ZX: Oh, I love that game!

DMS: YOU'RE ON.

DMS and ZX run over to the table. ZX gets the puck first. He smacks the puck, bouncing it off of the walls. DMS manages to hit it back... sending the puck flying off of the board. It begins bouncing off of the walls like a bullet,

DMS: TAKE COVER!!

Everyone dives to the floor except for Hank. The puck inevitably beans off of his head, sending him flying to the floor.

Hank: HS 804000 (aT: lIKE, OW,)

DMS: Sorry, Hank.

The gang resumes their activities, while Hank lies on the floor, passed out and sober.

Chapter 3 - "Riding on the Train... at night"
The rest of the day passes without anything important happening. After dinner, nothing important happens again. HGD woke up about two hours after the incedent, where he decided to retreat to his room to subside with an ice pack and some pain killer. When it starts to get a little later, everyone starts to get ready for bed. (Or whatever they do at night)

ZX: Alright, guys, see you tommorrow. We're headed off to bed.

DMS: Yeah, I'm so tired, that IF ANYONE GETS THE IDEA TO GO THROUGH OUR ROOM, DON'T.

He stares at them all once. They get the memo. Everyone goes to thier rooms except DMS and Luna.

Luna: Well, I'm going to get some sleep. I'll see you in bed if you need me.

DMS: Alright, I just have something I have to take care of. See you in a minute.

Luna: Alright.

She kisses him on the cheek and goes to their room. DMS stands in the kitchen alone.

DMS: Now, let's see about this damned room...

DMS walks towards the 6th room. He punches through the glass, knocking over the object that blocked the window, and hears a cry of shock.

DMS: WHO THE FUCK IS IN THERE??

Chrysalis crawls underneath the bed, hiding. DMS kicks the door open, sending it flying across the room. DMS stomps into the room and looks around.

DMS: Someone's been here, alright... Come out, come out, wherever you are...

DMS walks towards the bed. Chrysalis holds her breath. DMS picks the bed up and throws it across the room.

DMS: AHA!! THERE YOU ARE!! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!

Chrysalis stands up, calmly. She grins.

Chrysalis: What, wasn't the queen invited?

DMS: FUCK NO!! YOU WOULD BE ONE OF THE LAST PEOPLE WE'D INVITE! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU EVEN DOING HERE?!?

Chrysalis: I was bored. What else??

DMS: YOU CAME HERE TO CAUSE MORE TROUBLE, DIDN'T YOU?!

LD walks into the room, angrily.

LD: WHAT'S WITH ALL THE YELL- HOLY SH/T ITS YOU.

Meanwhile, in ZX and Pinkie's room...

Loud shouts and noises are heard from the end of the train. ZX gets up out of the bed.

ZX: The hell? Pinkie, Imma let us finish I'll be right back. I need to check out whatever is going on down there.

Pinkie: Aww.... come right back!

ZX walks out of the room, and goes into room 5, and notices that the door to room 6 is broken. He goes inside to see DMS and LD as well as Chrysalis having a shout fight. He just stands there.

DMS: WELL AT LEAST I'M NOT A- HI ZX.

ZX: Really? You again? We don't have the time for this. Are we going to have to handle this the easy way or the hard way?

Chrysalis: Is that a hypothetical question?

ZX: Damnit, I just want to sleep.

DMS: Yeah, right, I know what you were planning to do with Pinkie.

ZX: What??

DMS: You're as hard as rock.

ZX: OH GOD DAMNIT.

ZX blushes viciously and covers himself.

Chysalis: Oh, it's alright, don't feel bad at hardening up in front of the queen... hehehe...

ZX: UGH, DMS, WANT TO GET RID OF HER?!

DMS: YES.

HGD: WAIT!!!

HankGuideDude bursts through the door pauses the screen.

HGD: Hey you! In front of the screen! Do you remember how to fight?

-Yes

-N-

DMS: HANK THEY KNOW HOW IT WORKS. STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL.

HGD: Oh... okay! Let's go then!!

Boss Battle: Chrysalis
HGD: WAIT!! Who the hell is this, again??

DMS: LONG. FUCKING. STORY.

HGD: GOTCHA. LET'S DO THSI!!

ZX used PSI Freeze!

Chryalis didn't take any damage!

DMS charges forward!

Chryalis took 1201 damage!

LD attacks with TRANCE!

Chysalis took 2392 damage!

HGD attacks!

Chrysalis took 902 damage!

Chrysalis shapeshifted into ZX!

ZX: OH GOD NO.

Chrysalis used PSI STARSTORM!!

The train was destroyed, throwing ZX, DMS, HGD, and LD off of the train!!

BATTLE END!!

The gang rolls onto the ground. The train zooms off, leaving them behind.

Chysalis: Hahaha... Well, that was easy!! Farewell, fools!!

Chrysalis flies off.

DMS: GOD FUCKING DAMNIT YOU SLUT!! URGH.

HGD: The train!!

DMS: HOLD ON.

DMS grabs all 3 of them and launches himself at high speed towards the train. He smashes through one of the doors to the train, sending all 4 of them sprawling to the ground. Luna and Pinkie stand in front of one of the doors, worried.

Luna: Revelian, what the hell happened??

DMS: CHRYSALIS. ANNOYING SLUT. GDSSD.

Luna: That bitch?! Where is she?! I'll kill her!

DMS: Already gone... Urgh.

Pinkie: Zoshi!! Are you alright??

ZX climbs to his feet.

ZX: Urgh, I'm alright... Come on, let's get back to bed...

DMS: Pinkie! Make sure you nurse him back to health, ok?? Hehe!

ZX: SHADDUP.

Pinkie: No worries!

ZX: *Sigh*.

Luna: Speaking of nursing...

Luna grabs DMS and drags him back to their room.

LD: WELL DAT SURE WAS A NICE LITTLE DISTRACTION. At least things picked up! ...For a bit... Let's go back to bed.

HGD: What just happened??

They both go back to bed.