User:Ludicrine/Theta Archive/Taco Wrapping Things Up

IMMATURE CONTENT WARNING

 This story contains three kinds of sauce. Three! And awesome isn't one of their flavors. No, they're all spicy sauces. All spicy sauces packaged with wrappers with frogs on them. That doesn't wrap things up, now, does it?

HOPYSHMITNOCOLONOSCOPY?!
POPE MOLESTS BABIES.

Written by everyone's favorite storywriter, DMSwordsmaster!

This story takes place after a story that never took place. For those of you who want to catch up, Luna is pregnant, DMS and ZX are having a dispute over whose child it is, HGD fell off of a cliff to his doom and managed to land directly on his Quest Bed, Lazro became an alcoholic and was replaced by his ancestor TAKU, IRL-D accidentally mixed up his characters and switched out LD with Nopper McJimmyson Cornwhile, S17 has not debuted as a major character yet and thus will attempt and fail to do so numerous times in this story, and W D33’s corpse is rotting in the blood-soaked fields of the aftermath of the Great Two-Hour Cookie War. This sex scene will include stories. Or something like that. Also, Murpians because Murpians.

Chipter Oon: ErmagherdItsaMario
It’s been a while since Luna confessed her undying love to… dang, what’s that guy’s name? DSM? BMX? ABC Family? Ugh… the guy. The important one. In all the stories. You know… come on, I don’t read this stuff, you gotta help me out here…

No? Fine. His name’s Jorj. Don’t like it? Too bad.

Anyway, it’s been a while since Luna confessed her undying love for Jorj. He still flipped out about it every now and then, flipping tables and killing a few innocent bystanders. Lots of good tables were destroyed. So many poor tables… *Ahem* So, Luna was beginning to get a bit of a stomach… FOR BRAINS!!! She began a zombie slim-fast brain only diet and kept her slender shape with no noticeable bump at all for the child. Because she’s not allowed to have unattractive features. She’s Luna. You worship her. YOU SACRIFICE VIRGINS TO HER EVERY TUESDAY BECAUSE SHE IS THE MOON. THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOON-

Luna was going to the town’s market. What town? I don’t know. There actually isn’t a specified town. Is it Town? Is it Village? How about Resort? Something else? Whatever it is, it probably sells pumpkins, too. She winds up talking to someone she’s never seen in her life before.

Luna: Oh, hi, mister! Nopper: WHAT THE FLYING FCUK? ARE YOU A PONY? ARE YOU TALKING? TO ME? WHY ARE YOU WALKING ON TWO LEGS? WHY ARE YOU PURPLE? WHY DO YOU HAVE WINGS? HOLY FCUK I KNEW I SHOULDN’T HAVE LEFT FARLANDVILLE. PONIES. PURPLE PONIES WITH WINGS THAT TALK. I’VE SEEN IT ALL. GOOD GOG I’VE SEEN IT ALL. SCREW IT, MY SISTER-IN-LAW CAN BUY HER OWN DANG GROCERIES. I’M OUTTA HERE.

Nopper then proceeded to not be present for the rest of the story, confusing readers greatly and causing analytical fans to come up with theories surrounding the mysterious character, when, in fact, he was just an unimportant background character. Luna, very confused, turns and walks away. While in the market, she goes to buy something else.

Some hentai magazines.

… Oh, also some wedding stuff, but who cares.

After finishing shopping. [Sentence fragment: Consider revising] Luna heads home to Jorj. She opens the front gate, where dear Jorjy is sitting on an inflatable banana boat.

Luna: Hey, Jorj. I'm home!

Jorj stands up and walks towards her, giving her a hug and a quick kiss with his lips that are either never seen or nonexistent. They then eat their lunch and chat for a bit. Do you want to know what they had for lunch? BREAKFAST. Do you want to know what they talked about? BREAKFAST. BREAKFAST FOR LUNCH. I see your envy. I see it. Do you want a wife that eats BREAKFAST FOR LUNCH with you and talks with you about BREAKFAST FOR LUNCH? Yes. Yes you do.

Jorj: Did anything interesting happen when you were at the market?

Luna: I tried asking some guy if he had change for three Fan-Balloons or whatever the heck they were called before they died out, but he flipped out on me. It was pretty weird.

TFM’s Ghost: THE FAN-BOON SYSTEM HAS BEEN STARTED. IF YOU WANT, YOU-

Jorj beats the nonliving pulp out of TFM’s ghost.

Luna: Oh Nightshade Jorj! My hero!

Jorj: The fuck?!

Luna: What?

Jorj: Uh… nothing.

Suddenly, ZoshiX breaks through one of the windows of the castle.

ZX: AYBAYBAY. ‘OW YOU DOIN’? YOUS READY TO DUMP THIS HONKEY AND GET WIT DA REAL DA-DA OF YA KIDDY NOW?

Luna: … What?

ZX: NO HARD FEELINS TO YA, BROSEPHINE JORJ MA HOMESTACK. WAN A JOINT? *Smokes a cigar the size of Kuipter’s ego* AWWW, DAS GOOD SHIT, MENG.

Jorj: Zoshi, get the fuck out of my house.

ZX: AAIGHT. IMMA COME BACK LATER TO CHECK ON MA BABYKINS EA. YOU DOWN WIDDAT? FO SHIZZLE. I BE TRIPPIN OUT, YO. *Breaks out of broken window*

Jorj: He’s more of a drug addict than Kyle.

Luna: Who?

Jorj: No… it wasn’t Kyle. That one character who doesn’t exist yet. Ugh… James28? Kevin14?

Luna: Oh yeah, that guy? Hm… I think it was Ron77 or something.

Jorj: Sounds about right.

Meanwhile, Samuel17 was attempting to break the fourth wall(s) surrounding the story and debut as a frequent character.

S17: Aaightsowegotstagojumpdisherewallanshiyoudownwiddatdiggitydigdemonyofoshizzlemanizzlebrosephinehomestackuladraculadawg.

Chipper: ANALYSIS RESULTS- STOP THAT MINDFANG YOU ARE DRUNK.

S17: Aywhoyoucallinmindfangiaintnospiderchickbutmanineedagetmesommocrackyoyoudownfodatmahchippintrippinbro.

Chipper: ANALYSIS RESULTS- OVERDOSING ON FREE BASE FORM OF BENZOYLMETHYLECGONINE.

S17: Aymengdontbehatinonthegoodshimeng. Iseeyoudigginrounindatpileonosecandy. Spiderbotlovescocaineamiritebrotha.

Chipper: NEGATIVE.

Sam then charged at one of the fourth walls at full speed and crashed into it, doing nothing more than scaring some wild animals at the edge of the set.

And then they made a billion dollahz. :33

APE-RYLL PHOOLZ DEIGJ

FACEFACEFACEFACEFACEFACEFACEFACE

thend

Done reading this?
The epilogue is out!